Anxiety ridden

I'm studying for the NCLEX - taking the NCSBN program in effort to be prepared. When we were looking into how best to get prepared, we heard that that was one of the best ways.

But I'm just so anxious about this because I'm not the fastest of readers. It somewhat has to do with my ADHD. I can't read in total silence but I do understand that having my tv shows on does slow me down as well. UGH!

So I'm working extra hard, staying up twice as long in order to get the info read. Plus I'm also copy & pasting info that I know I want to flag and re-read later that I feel that I don't know enough about or that I need to remember later, reference at a later time. Such as cranial nerves, OB/L&D info, growth & dev't... you get the drift I'm sure.

I'm not sure whether I should be doing it this way or whether I should be doing a massive amount of questions. I know that when I did my NCLEX-PN, I just did a butt load of questions, but I have such an enormous amount riding on this result that I can't just wing it and hope I pass. I need to do anything and everything I can to ensure that I do.

I actually talked to US job-based recruiter about some stuff. They wanted to know about when I was taking my NCLEX. At that point I didn't have my ATT so I couldn't tell them when my date to write would be. But I did talk to them about when I planned to move. When I noted that I was thinking about coming after the first week in February I was advised against this as I was expected to begin onboarding preparations before a certain date way before my start date. Before I was meaning to go, really.

But I'm nervous about the NCLEX. I know everyone is. But this year they're combining the US & Canada, which means that this year's test will be even harder than usual. So yes, I'm afraid of failure. I'm nervous that the knowledge that I know that I have won't translate to the test and result in a successful attempt.

Goodness I'm nervous. I'm nothing but nerves and anxiety. I can't wait for it to be over but I also know that I need every spare second I can get to study.