So I know that I don't talk about school that often, it's just that I haven't been really motivated to get much of it done. Doing school work from a distance is tricky with ADHD, however, I've managed to get 4 courses read and notes done, now it's time to challenge exam them.
On Sunday, my daughter and I head up to my hometown to spend some time with family and darling son. I'm looking forward to it but also dreading it a bit. I've run into some drama which has made me dread going up....
My son will be 11 in November, the court agreement indicates that I get him for the summer. This year, though, his father manipulated him (IMO) and had him indicate to me that he only wanted to spend 4 weeks (out of 10) with me. I was hurt but I allowed this to occur. Especially considering his father said that I was abusing him (my son) by indicating that his decision hurt my feelings and that I didn't want it to occur.
I made plans to go to my hometown in like April, not that I told my son or his father any of this (non of their business IMO) for the end of August, because I was going to surprise kiddo with the trip to hang with Nana & Papa while he was still with me - but that got taken away from me.
Now under the court agreement, I'm supposed to get him for the entire time that I'm in my hometown but instead I have to give my son to his asshole father for 3 days - there's so much more drama besides this but whatever. I always have to give up time, it's frustrating and hurtful.
Another thing has to do with my bestie and my mom, if either came to my area, it would be expected that I take time off from my job in order to spend time with them, but the same thing isn't being done when I go to my hometown.
My bestie, I can sympathize with (even though it saddens me) because her job doesn't have enough nurses to accomodate her getting time off unless it's vacation (and even then she still has to fight them to have it), but with my mom there's really no reason.
She works at a grocery store and there's TONS of younger and less senior ppl under her that she can tell them she wants a couple of days off. It's not like my parents are hurting for money or anything. I even told my mom that it felt like I had to pay her to stay off from her work. My mom takes 4 wks of vacation during the summer - 2 wks to go to HER bestie's cottage and then 2 wks for all of her friends to go to HER cottage.... and I figured that I would come during the last half of her vacation so that I can see her friends and mom and then another week where her and I can hang out, without having her have to go to work. But this isn't the case. This has been this way my ENTIRE life, why would I expect anything different to happen? She told me like 2 months ago, that if I were to go up to my hometown, that she would take time off to spend with me... and then when I tell her that that's what I would like her to do, she tells me no way.
When I called her and cried because it was hurting my feelings so much, she FINALLY said that she would try to see what she could do.... I guess we'll see when I go up on Sunday.
I'm about to start my nursing courses for my pre-req to get into the program - I'm looking forward to going and spending some leisurely time, swimming and studying cuz when I return, I have to challenge four courses -
* Nursing care for the childbearing family
* Nursing care for the adult
* Nursing care for the child and family
* Nursing care for mental health (something like that)
While I'll be studying these, I also figure that I'll be studying to take my NCLEX-PN since I also have to take this when I return (probably at the end of September, beginning of October) seeing that I'm trying to get my license in Michigan in case we decide to move to the states.
Showing posts with label son. Show all posts
Showing posts with label son. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Let me be a nurse, I'm not crippled - just in pain
My back still isn't better. X-ray showed that I don't have a disc herniation, just a sprain. And while that's goodish news, it doesn't mean that I'm in any less pain. I've been on modified for about 3 weeks, and it's completely boring! Up to this point they won't let me do ANYTHING nursing related - hell not even vital signs! It's ridiculous and is driving me crazy. On friday I went and spoke with the oc-health person I've been dealing with so that we can get a plan in play that will tag me back into the nursing ring.
How do I know if I can do all my regular duties if they won't let me do any of them?! Thankfully the oc-health lady helped me out and today my physician signed off on the tiered/staged plan to get me back to work. Unfortunately, it's according to my schedule at work which every second week I'm off for 7-10 days (which is great if I didn't need the money and the ability to pick up extra shifts) which means that I don't go back to working full duty and the ability to pick up more shifts until Aug 10th.
On another note, my son told me today that he only wants to come and visit for 4 weeks this summer. It's crap and I'm pissed off about it. My feelings are hurt about it all. It sucks that my hometown and everyone there is being chosen over me and the ppl down here. My heart aches cuz I know that I got screwed in the court system and there wasn't anything that I could do about it at the time because I didn't have the finances to take A-hole to court about this all, and in the end I paid for it. It sucks, sucks, sucks!!! I want to cry and cry but it's not going to make the situation any better. UGH!!!!
The in-laws here went house looking last week and found the perfect house - it's 4 bedrooms upstairs and then an apartment with 2 bedrooms in the basement. And while hubby, kiddos and I will be confined to the basement again, at least I will see the light of day in there because the set up is that of an apartment and I will no longer have to share a room with the kids! How glorious is that?! Unfortunately, it's contingent on the selling of the current house which means we have been UBER busy getting rid of the clutter and junk around the house and having it staged. Which is easier said than done when you have a 3 yr old running around. The other crappy part is that it doesn't keep clean seeing that the 3 yr old thinks she can make messes everywhere (not that I expected anything less but still aggravating none the less) and lastly, the showings of this house are driving me crazy because we can't be in the house when there are agents or potential buyers in the house which = we must vacate to SOMEWHERE for the HOURS that it takes.
This weekend we had to be out of the house for 8hrs on Saturday and 9hrs on Sunday. Goodness that's a long time to be somewhere else, especially if you don't have close family around that you can just "drop" in on seeing as some of these hours were made as a last minute thing. Same thing happened today as well. I really do hope this house sells quickly so that we can get back to our regular duties!
How do I know if I can do all my regular duties if they won't let me do any of them?! Thankfully the oc-health lady helped me out and today my physician signed off on the tiered/staged plan to get me back to work. Unfortunately, it's according to my schedule at work which every second week I'm off for 7-10 days (which is great if I didn't need the money and the ability to pick up extra shifts) which means that I don't go back to working full duty and the ability to pick up more shifts until Aug 10th.
On another note, my son told me today that he only wants to come and visit for 4 weeks this summer. It's crap and I'm pissed off about it. My feelings are hurt about it all. It sucks that my hometown and everyone there is being chosen over me and the ppl down here. My heart aches cuz I know that I got screwed in the court system and there wasn't anything that I could do about it at the time because I didn't have the finances to take A-hole to court about this all, and in the end I paid for it. It sucks, sucks, sucks!!! I want to cry and cry but it's not going to make the situation any better. UGH!!!!
The in-laws here went house looking last week and found the perfect house - it's 4 bedrooms upstairs and then an apartment with 2 bedrooms in the basement. And while hubby, kiddos and I will be confined to the basement again, at least I will see the light of day in there because the set up is that of an apartment and I will no longer have to share a room with the kids! How glorious is that?! Unfortunately, it's contingent on the selling of the current house which means we have been UBER busy getting rid of the clutter and junk around the house and having it staged. Which is easier said than done when you have a 3 yr old running around. The other crappy part is that it doesn't keep clean seeing that the 3 yr old thinks she can make messes everywhere (not that I expected anything less but still aggravating none the less) and lastly, the showings of this house are driving me crazy because we can't be in the house when there are agents or potential buyers in the house which = we must vacate to SOMEWHERE for the HOURS that it takes.
This weekend we had to be out of the house for 8hrs on Saturday and 9hrs on Sunday. Goodness that's a long time to be somewhere else, especially if you don't have close family around that you can just "drop" in on seeing as some of these hours were made as a last minute thing. Same thing happened today as well. I really do hope this house sells quickly so that we can get back to our regular duties!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
My life is a drama and everything that follows
I have two children - a boy who JUST turned 10 last week and a girl who is now 2 1/2 years.
I had my son with my previous marriage and the man was abusive - physically, psychologically, and emotionally - but I was naive to think that just because I was pregnant I had to stay. When kiddo was 4 months old, he hit me and choked me while I was holding him in my arms - that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I left him and haven't looked back.
I have since gotten married to a wonderful man - one whom I met and married within 4 months - I just KNEW that he was the one. We have the little girl together - little tyke.
My husband and I moved from my hometown (hubby was there for studies), as we didn't really have a future in my hometown so we moved south... unfortunately, I was stupid enough to think that my ex husband had grown up and could be trusted - boy was I STUPID!!!! Now I'm paying the price with the relationship b/n kiddo and myself.
I was stupid and tried to arrange things outside the courts - and it seriously backfired on my ass, I COMPLETELY got fu**ed over. We had to go to court afterall and STILL I got fu**ed by the courts.... even though I provided documentation that he was abusive and controlling and manipulative. Other people even provided affidavits and STILL the court gave kiddo to live with him, because they didn't want him to move from his hometown. The Office for the Children's Lawyer (OCL) even interviewed everyone to make a decision on what's "best" for the kiddo... you know what they asked kiddo???
OCL - "kiddo who do you want to live with"
kiddo - "my mom"
OCL - "If the court decided that you have to live with your dad, would you be alright with that"
kiddo - "yeah"
Well what child who isn't being sexually or physically abused is going to go against that other parent, but it should tell you a LOT if a child says who they "prefer" to live with. And STILL the OCL guys decided that it would be best for my son to live with that man.
I have fought for TWO years - having to go back to my hometown for court - for naught.... and even now, with a court order in place - that a-hole has the gall to keep my son from me - AND manipulate him so that he wants to leave early.
My son thinks that I am the bad person, he thinks that I have abandoned him - but he doesn't know what's happened - to his father getting me criminally charged as pay back for when he was charged with assault. He doesn't know that I didn't feel safe in my own hometown city. He doesn't know that his father is STILL verbally abusive to me and STILL tries to control and manipulate me.
Last week was his birthday - our court papers indicate that I was supposed to get him that weekend - from thurs to sunday - and I also am supposed to get him every other long weekend during the school year, and this coming weekend it was supposed to be our weekend with kiddo. The week before his birthday, the A-hole asks my mom to convince me to switch my weekends for his birthday to THIS coming weekend. And I agreed, but more for the sake of my mom because she wanted to take my son to a hypnotist show that was going on in my hometown last friday.
But where it gets really crappy is that when I explained that I should be getting him from thurs to mon (the extra day on the monday is considered the long weekend part) and the thurs & fri are due to his birthday weekend - he refuses to let me have him that period of time and tells me that unless I go to my hometown (9 HRS AWAY!!), I cannot have him.
My mom intervened on my behalf and said that she would bring my son half way so that we could see each other - but my son informed me last night via telephone that he wants to cut it short because he has a hockey game on monday... which in my opinion, I feel that family is more important than a hockey game. I get that he's 10 and hockey is really important to him but I think that his controlling and manipulative father is the one whose really behind my son's verbalizations.
Sometimes I feel so down and low that I wonder if I can continue to have my relationship with my son this way - that it just may be easier to cut all connections and tell him to get a hold of me when he's old enough to make his own decisions and at that point I'll tell him the REAL truth....
I don't know, who knows what is best!
I had my son with my previous marriage and the man was abusive - physically, psychologically, and emotionally - but I was naive to think that just because I was pregnant I had to stay. When kiddo was 4 months old, he hit me and choked me while I was holding him in my arms - that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I left him and haven't looked back.
I have since gotten married to a wonderful man - one whom I met and married within 4 months - I just KNEW that he was the one. We have the little girl together - little tyke.
My husband and I moved from my hometown (hubby was there for studies), as we didn't really have a future in my hometown so we moved south... unfortunately, I was stupid enough to think that my ex husband had grown up and could be trusted - boy was I STUPID!!!! Now I'm paying the price with the relationship b/n kiddo and myself.
I was stupid and tried to arrange things outside the courts - and it seriously backfired on my ass, I COMPLETELY got fu**ed over. We had to go to court afterall and STILL I got fu**ed by the courts.... even though I provided documentation that he was abusive and controlling and manipulative. Other people even provided affidavits and STILL the court gave kiddo to live with him, because they didn't want him to move from his hometown. The Office for the Children's Lawyer (OCL) even interviewed everyone to make a decision on what's "best" for the kiddo... you know what they asked kiddo???
OCL - "kiddo who do you want to live with"
kiddo - "my mom"
OCL - "If the court decided that you have to live with your dad, would you be alright with that"
kiddo - "yeah"
Well what child who isn't being sexually or physically abused is going to go against that other parent, but it should tell you a LOT if a child says who they "prefer" to live with. And STILL the OCL guys decided that it would be best for my son to live with that man.
I have fought for TWO years - having to go back to my hometown for court - for naught.... and even now, with a court order in place - that a-hole has the gall to keep my son from me - AND manipulate him so that he wants to leave early.
My son thinks that I am the bad person, he thinks that I have abandoned him - but he doesn't know what's happened - to his father getting me criminally charged as pay back for when he was charged with assault. He doesn't know that I didn't feel safe in my own hometown city. He doesn't know that his father is STILL verbally abusive to me and STILL tries to control and manipulate me.
Last week was his birthday - our court papers indicate that I was supposed to get him that weekend - from thurs to sunday - and I also am supposed to get him every other long weekend during the school year, and this coming weekend it was supposed to be our weekend with kiddo. The week before his birthday, the A-hole asks my mom to convince me to switch my weekends for his birthday to THIS coming weekend. And I agreed, but more for the sake of my mom because she wanted to take my son to a hypnotist show that was going on in my hometown last friday.
But where it gets really crappy is that when I explained that I should be getting him from thurs to mon (the extra day on the monday is considered the long weekend part) and the thurs & fri are due to his birthday weekend - he refuses to let me have him that period of time and tells me that unless I go to my hometown (9 HRS AWAY!!), I cannot have him.
My mom intervened on my behalf and said that she would bring my son half way so that we could see each other - but my son informed me last night via telephone that he wants to cut it short because he has a hockey game on monday... which in my opinion, I feel that family is more important than a hockey game. I get that he's 10 and hockey is really important to him but I think that his controlling and manipulative father is the one whose really behind my son's verbalizations.
Sometimes I feel so down and low that I wonder if I can continue to have my relationship with my son this way - that it just may be easier to cut all connections and tell him to get a hold of me when he's old enough to make his own decisions and at that point I'll tell him the REAL truth....
I don't know, who knows what is best!
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