Sunday, March 22, 2015

Well that sucked

Had my surgery, went worse than I expected. Didn't hear from the surgeon after the fact really as he saw me in post-op but we didn't really talk as I was in a SUPER amount of pain. As in, BAWLING!!!!!!!!!!!!

The nurse had the audacity to tell me that I needed to "calm down" - dude, I'm in pain, how about you do something about it and THEN I'll calm down!!! UUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH

I even told her that I would calm down once the pain was reduced. Her response was that I had gotten everything that I could.... as if that should stop anything! I couldn't believe that she wasn't advocating for me. It was VERY incredibly frustrating to be on the pt side and experience this all. The way that they tried to "deal" with my pain was by giving me Ativan.... because I was hyperventilating due to the pain. Oh and giving me a popsicle.

I was told that I had packing "down there", so the nurses kept checking me. The surgeon when he stepped in (because I was in so much pain) told me that I had a small abcess so I'm assuming the packing had to do with that. It has any other time. This time was a bit different.

The pain didn't decrease until I changed position of being on my back to being lateral (Rt lateral was better) then when I decided to try to rest (my pain had decreased from 9 to 5 which was far more managable) that when I closed my eyes and rested my Sats dropped to 83% which sent the nurses running.... so they wouldn't let me relax.... but instead shifted me off to the next stage of post-op where they rush you to get dressed and leave!

There my nausea picked up and I ended up vomiting the popsicle and then dry heaving - it all sucks. Thankfully the new nurse offered me something to help for the nausea and it settled enough for me to try to get dressed. At this point hubby came in and provided some assistance, which was certainly needed and very helpful.

This time I made sure that hubby brought with him a wheelchair cuz the last time he forgot one and I had to wait for him to get it. Then he loaded me up and off we went with the discharge instructions and prescription.

Hubby was there when I vomited and knew I was feeling really rough so when we got in the car I told him that I wanted to go home. I realized as we were leaving the hospital that one of the computers was in the same city and since I was going to be off for almost 3 wks that it was important to go get the computer since we were already in that neck of the woods. So off we went and grabbed that. Then I told him in no uncertain terms to TAKE ME HOME!!!

Then he told me that he wanted to take me to go bring the prescription in to the pharmacy which I was k with until he told me that he wanted to pick up my gingerale then as well.... I didn't want to wait, I was feeling yucky and I just had surgery.... I just wanted to go home!!!!! To crawl in my bed and try to sleep! UGH!

15 minutes later he comes back and asks me if we could stop off at the ethnic grocery store for something for his mom, which it seemed like it was going to be an easy in, easy out so I agreed to it... then we got there and it was TWENTY minutes later that I got so frustrated with my increasing pain and nausea and I went to the door of the store to find out what was taking so long and said to him "WTH, I'm just recovering from surgery, TAKE ME HOME!!!!!" The bugger had ordered MEAT!!! And was waiting for it to be cut up and prepared. Boy did it make me angry!

I finally made it home and immediately went to bed.

Now for a bit of personal information...... having surgery to my rectum sucked! You know how I mentioned the packing above?! Ya, the surgeon packed my rectum! I'm assuming he incised the abcess from the rectum side and that's why he packed the rectum from that side. I'm assuming he had to maneuver more this time around because my rectum was SUPER swollen.

I've taken the stool softener from the get go but the feeling of needing to poo was terrible. Then when it was time to actually go, it felt like I was trying to give birth thru my rectum. Oh my poor rectum! As if it hasn't been tortured enough, then it has to go through this! My poor bottom was bleeding again afterwards. I was almost in tears again after the first time. Boy you dont realize how you take this sort of thing forgranted until you can't do it!

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Rescheduled and school update

Last week I told my boss that I wouldn't be able to work for 3 wks after surgery.... surgery was scheduled for the beginning of April...

Then today I found out that I'm going under the knife TOMORROW!!!  Eeeeek

I am supposed to work Thursday, guess I'm not anymore!

School has been a rollar coaster ride, one moment I feel like I'm getting somewhere and the next I feel like I'm failing.... I can't seem to get things on an even keel.

I was told today by my prof that I totally screwed up my clinical assignment.... she told me that I totally missed an entire section and that the rest of my assignment pretty much gets a zero..... Eeeeeeek!!!!!!!! Yikes, now I'm trying to get my prof to give me another chance. Wish me luck! Seems like I need it.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Down and up and down and up and down again

Had a pt today.... admitted with CHF and A-fib - report indicated no issues

when I got her her VS were great, no probs

Half hour later (approx.) she becomes confused, diaphoretic, RR increases, decreased consciousness (very drowsy).... so I'm thinking worsening CHF....

Give some lasix IV push and half hour later no change.... like seriously...

so about 15 min later I see that I have to take her BS.... then it hits me - shit balls she's low

BS comes back..... 1.7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now for those of you who are not from Canada.... that's like 30 in the US

I say absolutely NOTHING and RUN (oh yes, I seriously did!) and pulled some D50 (Dextrose) from my pyxsis and pushed that puppy straight into her vein... then waited for her to gain some consciousness!

Two minutes later she perks up and I push some OJ, crackers and cheese down her throat.... I tell the family about her low sugar and the grand daughter goes "oh ya, this has happened before and this is how she is when this happens"..... face palm!

When I retake her BS it's 8.8 - well at least she reacted well!

Goodness I can't believe I missed this one..... but wait, it gets better!!!

Dinner comes 30 min later and I make sure that the family is aware that she needs to eat all the protein stuff.... which thankfully she does.

Bedtime comes around and I check her sugar and it's 3.5 (think 50ish) - DAMN IT!

I push D50 again and push a banana (her potassium was low today anyways, she could use it!) and some glucerna (nice protein content).... then I get busy doing bedtime stuff and when I get a chance to recheck it an hour later....

it's 3.4!!!!!!!!!!!!!  GAH!!!

Who the HELL runs thru that much sugar in an hour! I call the Dr as I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to push another amp of D50.... thankfully he calls back right away.

Tells me to give another amp of D50 and to recheck her sugar in another hour.... so just as I was leaving shift sugar is rechecked and it's 6.8 (think 115ish).... well that is a WHOLE lot better but I doubt that it will stay that way.

Moral of the story: I have no idea how this woman blew through so much glucose on my shift! She doesn't have an infectious process, isn't running a temp.... and can't put her on a D10 drip because she's already fluid overload.... so who knows what they're going to do with her... I suppose keep pushing D50 amps???  CRAZINESS!

THIS is what I get for having time off.... seems that when I do I always get a shit storm when I get back (this past weekend was no different!) Geeze, how are things going to be when I'm off 3 wks after surgery?!

Friday, February 27, 2015

Not as important as I thought

Was supposed to have surgery today....

The surgeon's secretary called me the day before yesterday and told me that she had to reschedule me.... now trying to reschedule this surgery is easier said than done!

When time is available for the surgeon, it isn't for me! When there is a period of time available for me, it's when I made time for clinical... which means I can't do surgery then! So we had to post pone it and when we finally found time, it's almost a month and a half away now!

Grrrrr.... I just want to get on with this and get it over with!

Only good thing is that I will be able to focus on my school work til then... the semester should be close to over by the time I'm able to have the surgery. Just hoping that I don't get pushed back even further by then... I mean I get that things come up (such as cancers and such) but damn it sucks to get pushed back.

Well I suppose I should go now and do some studying - I have an exam due this week!

Monday, February 23, 2015

I always knew I was complex

I saw the surgeon today, had some really good questions answered.

We decided that we would try the seton again - with a different grade of string...

If that doesn't work then he'll refer me to the fistula clinic "downtown".... which is something that I was hoping he would say!

We talked about the MRI I had - I have a transspincter fistula - surgeon thinks that it's the same one as before and the seton previously used didn't work.

It makes me nervous to try the seton again, I don't think it will succeed but the alternative would really suck.

Where the fistula sits puts me at ++increased risk of incontinence (stool) is excised (cut out) because it's anterior (really close to the vagina) which puts me at increased risk for incontinence (urine) and painful sex or the worst would be where I would require a colostomy.... all totally possible if we turn to surgical routes.

When he first came to talk in the room, I asked what options there were...

He "tried" to tell me - nothing.... ya we are NOT doing that (I didn't even let him finish that sentence!) - I am NOT living with this thing for the rest of my life with constant issues and pain and infections and such. This is interfering with my ability to work and therefore earn a living!

Then he commented about the seton - which is ultimately what we decided....

And surgery (see above about why we won't be doing that just yet)...

So I said, based on these options I suppose we'll go with the seton.... so I'm going under again by the end of the week.

I also asked him "Is my fistula simple or complex"... I barely got the sentence out when he said "complex.... absolutely complex".... see again above for the reasons why.

So if this doesn't work I will be going to see the pros at these sorts of things but we'll try the least invasive first. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Hitting a brick wall and failing

6 weeks in and I'm feelin burnt out already. HOW do ppl go to school YEAR ROUND and not get burnt out.... or if they do, how in the world do they deal AND still succeed?!

I totally bombed my last exam (like ~60%), my last assignments I did poorly on (as in ~75% collectively) and I feel such a lack of motivation to do all these things. I feel like I'm failing at juggling everything on my plate. Though when I don't juggle I'm being told by one entity or another that I'm needed in that avenue (work, spouse, mommy, etc...)

I'm sucking at coping but don't really know how to get more energy or motivation. Hubby thinks that if I will it to be it will be.... sorry doesn't work that way! Been there, tried that.... not working.

Also.... they changed this course from last semester - different teachers and different format... they've changed a bunch of things and loaded the first two months of the semester (not that the last two are really  much better but it doesn't appear to be as severe) and I feel like I'm drowning in all of it. On top of this course I have my elective course that I'm having difficulty keeping up with as well. That teacher LOADS on the readings and websites that we're supposed to read...

Yep failing is not something that I like and I'm trying but feeling as though I'm getting anywhere. ERG!!!!

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Doctor Gods

Clincal's over - was good for the most part. Only one thing set me back - a doctor.

Bowel resection that post op was having difficulties urinating, regardless of the fact that 4L was received! So not really good!

At this hospital things are run a bit different and the surgeon gave report to the ER/floor doc - I was there and when they were talking I commented about something the surgeon said and "corrected" it.

Later to find out that this was "not" appreciated.... because doctor's are GODS and CANNOT be interrupted or corrected.... as my preceptor said.... "I need to learn my place"

Guess I'll be avoiding doctors for the rest of this clinical.