Saturday, July 22, 2017

My place in the new world

I know it's been such a long time since I've updated.

I've gotten through the first part of training. I've gotten into NICU, but learned only recently that I'm not starting the next part of my training for another MONTH (which is almost complete I must add)!!!!

So I'm going home to visit!

But in the meantime, I'm moving out of the hotel that my hospital put me up in and moving into a house with two other ppl - a male and a female. I only got to meet the guy - he's from Venezuela, but he's young. The girl is from Pennsylvania, but that's all I know.

The program that I have gone through, so far, I have to say has been pretty awesome. I feel like it has given me the information that I lacked from the other place.

I found a text book I want to buy that educates me all about NICU. Especially because part of my evaluation has to do with my knowledge bit.  So I figure that this will help with that. But I know that people see a "know it all" and so I worry that if I don't have the knowledge that I will suffer but that if I do, then this will rear its ugly head again.

When I do return I have a day to settle in (tho that involves a lot of other things called running around!) and unpacking and when I did "move in" to said new place, I pretty much dumped all my stuf into my room and that was that. So when I do get back, I have to "unpack" my room and put things in their rightful place. I still have to meet my other house mate. I sure do hope that she's nice and sweet and a good house mate.

Then the next day I have simulation, where I meet my "play mates" - my colleagues who are to be with me on my trek thru this new adventure this next year thru. Unlike the rest of them, I'm in it for at least three years (more if I have it my way!) but the rest of them do not have a contract and so they're just in it for a year because we're all in under "new grad orientation program" banner. I was told that there's 14 in the peds section, but I'm not sure how many in the NICU in particular, but I know for sure that there's only 9 preceptors for NICU ppl including me - unless that's changed.... at least that's what I was told. Hopefully this group will e more like friends and less like a clique - I'm not really holding out much hope.

While I've been here I've had the chance to go North and visit my family in hometown - I went out to my parents cottage and it was awesome....

This is my happy place

Best of all was that my best friend was on maternity leave and so she was able to spend days with me. And my mom took a couple of days off to spend time with us. I spent a lovely week there hanging out with family and loving on my kids and my parents and my best friend.

However, that trip cost me dearly as I stopped for "speeding" not once but TWICE!!! I couldn't even believe it because when I had been stopped the first time, I ensure that I didn't move the car until I knew how to use the rental car's cruise control, cause that's what helped cause the first speeding, cause I couldn't figure it out in the first place and so I wasn't using it and I wasn't paying attention to how fast I was actually going. My fault for sure. But the second time I made sure to use it and so there was no way that I was speeding, so I don't know how I managed that one! Both cops were right assholes. And ppl wonder why no one likes them, they never give proper people any kind of leeway or freebies. Such dicks! Cost me a pretty penny to say the least. Almost cost me my trip to Disney!

Because hubby has decided that come September, we're going to go to Disney! YAY! I'm excited, I've always wanted to go but my parents have always said that we were too poor (or that Disney was too expensive - which ever way you want to take it). So it's pretty special that hubby and I get to bring little tyke and it's all our first times together. I'm really really looking forward to it. Now I'm in the planning phase. I was looking at doing the princess tea party.... it's $135 ya'll!!!!! OMG that's bloody expensive. I couldn't believe it. AND, the "gifts" that of course little tyke will want cost $150!!! Geeze.... how in the WORLD can they believe that those things that they peddle are worth that amount?! Goodness knows. Wowzers! So now we're thinking a meal at Cinderella's table. We'll see if we can get in though.

For now I'm spending time with little tyke. My migraines have been pretty bad. I think it's probably to do with the stress level around here, the noise level and where we are above sea level. Who knows really. Either way, when I get back I'm going to try to get in to see the headache clinic that I found. I'm hoping that my insurance covers them. When I get back, shortly thereafter I have an appointment with a new GP to set up things with one. Supposedly this one is pretty new out of school so hopefully they have a pretty open mind and are good working with me. We'll see though. Like I said... finding my place in the new world!

Sunday, May 7, 2017


Off on a new adventure I go again.

I leave from little tyke in t- 28 hrs. Hubby's coming with me to help pack up and move me from my current apartment in my present US state, to a more southern US state and into a hotel for 10 weeks that my hospital is footing the bill for!!! Sweet right! At least this way, it'll give me an opportunity to figure out the city and where I want to live and where the best restaurants and stores are. Get my feet in the door at least before figuring a few things out.

 I'm really hoping that this time I will get a fair shake and that the people that are supposed to be supporting me and helping me to succeed will actually do so.

I don't know whether I'll be working in the NICU or whether I'm going to be in PCU (progressive care unit - ie step-down ICU). I will be meeting with my person who is going to determine that all by the end of next week. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I end up in the NICU because that's really where my heart lies but who knows what God's plan is and what this person who is assessing me will determine!

At the end of the week, hubby and I are hitting up the water park. We're pretty excited about that. Hubby doesn't like rollar coasters but for some reasons water park rides he's ok with, either way, I'm alright with that! So we're going to make a day or two of it and spend some nice quality tim together.

We tend to argue when we travel (if he wouldn't be so stressed out and stop listening and stop being patient, it would be alright.... but alas, he's soooooooooo bad) so I'm hoping against hope that THIS time is going to be different. I'm delusional, but who knows, maybe he'll surprise me. HA! We'll see. Anyways, it'll be a few days before I get on here again I'm sure. Wish me luck!

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Long time away

I know I've been away a long time from here, it's with good reason.

America's been a bitch to me ya'll. Not the patients (mostly), it's the nurses.

My hospital has renigged on the deal for my TN visa and pretty much fucked me over. So starting out over here has just started out on the wrong foot. And it's just continued that way.

My co hort for my nurse residency seem to hate me. I understand that I'm an intense person, but I'm friendly and outgoing. I'm loyal and awesome and yet not ONE has been willing to befriend me! I'm an outcast! I want to say to them all "fuck you all, I don't need you". But it's not worth my time and effort. It does make me sad though. I'm lonely here because hubby and little tyke are back home and I'm here all by myself.

The units I've gone to, my preceptors for the most part have been two-faced. They say nice things to my face, about how good I'm doing and then after I'm done my week of experience there, several have contacted my coordinator and then turned around and said things that should have been discussed with me face-to-face.

I only found this out when I was 3/4 done this whole thing, so I couldn't even try to attempt to "fix" whatever these ppl were complaining about, they weren't giving me the opportunity. But from that point on, every preceptor I had, the first day I talked to them and told them flat out that I wanted feedback from them real-time, not at a later date and if they felt that I had done something wrong or against policy (considering I'm new and don't know policy yet), advise me what the policy IS at this facility, instead of keeping quiet but then saying that I told ppl things against policy - to my coordinator.

Because of the TN issue, hubby (who is a natural researcher) was looking to see what's out there in terms of sponsorships (expecting that things would take like 6+ months), because we were done getting screwed over by using the TN visa. Well he found one and they contacted me and we talked and right off the bat they asked if I would come work for them!!!

Now, I should tell you at this point that this hospital offered me this the day after I had a meeting with current hospital who put me on "final written notice" because ppl were c/o me instead of talking to my face - but because I'm still in the "learning phase", the ownership is on me, not on others. Such BS!!!  So when new hospital offered a job, it seemed like God was intervening and that this was the path I needed to go down.

Well I got my official offer yesterday, contract and all. I'm nervous as heck. I haven't told current hospital. I don't know what I'm going to tell them. It's frustrating that I moved my entire life here and I get treated like this. But I also want them to know that I appreciate the fact that they offered me this chance.

With new hospital, I don't know yet whether I'm going into NICU or progressive care (step-down ICU) - we're going to figure that part out when I get there. I'm really really hoping that they're good with me going into the NICU. I LOVE LOVE LOVE NICU. It feels like that's where I'm meant to be.

So now I start to pack up this apartment, and begin the search for a new one!

Saturday, March 11, 2017

I found my niche

Oh my goodness I love the NICU! I cannot say how much I love it. I'm saddened by the fact that I am only unable to spend 24 hours there in my residency. But alas, we must move on.

I got to spend time with some feeder-growers, but ones that kept us on our toes. One of which would brady and have hold their breath - a septic work up showed an infection brewing but cultures didn't grow anything in the blood or urine. 48 hours of IV antibiotics and the poor baby seemed to be over the hump. Hopefully that's all that was needed.

Our other baby has chronic lung disease and provided us lots of frustrating moments because the baby would be low sating - setting off the monitor.... then a moment later be high sating, again sestting off the monitor as the expectation is that if a baby is high sating for more than a few minutes, then the nurse should turn down the FiO2. But if the baby was turned down, then we would end up with the monitor showing a SpO2 of 50-60%!!!  Not where you want a NICU baby! But we couldn't be chasing this baby all day long with the FiO2.

I was lucky to have a coach who showed me the ropes, but gave me the ability to show what I could do. By the second shift, I felt like I could try my hand at taking care of the babies - gavage feedings, tube feedings, changing diapers while the baby is still in the isolette, assessments, etc... And by the third day I was doing all the babies myself as well as the charting - and my coach was just checking my work afterwards to make sure I didn't miss anything.

I seriously hope that I end up there. It was seriously my cup of tea. Oh how I loved cuddling the babies and taking care of their needs.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

So nasty

I rushed to move into this apartment. I don't know what condition the former tenants left the place in before I came in but when I moved it it wasn't terrible so I was willing to move in when it wasn't 100%.

I'm rather regretting moving in, or moving here....

I'm dealing with COCKROACHES!!!!


These things gives me the BIGGEST heebies and I'm dealing with them in my bathroom and kitchen primarily - and yes I understand this as they like the moist environments and with the kitchen there's always the microscopic (I keep it pretty clean) bits of food.

They were supposed to "bomb" my place today while I was at work today and when I came home I found my cupboard doors open which means that they did but when I came home and went in to my bathroom to use it, there was one.... just crawling around.... ewwwwwww...... ya, I squished that mother ***er!

Then later I made some tea on the stove (I haven't bought a kettle yet) and I put the tea bags in a container after I had used them and when I came back to throw them out about an hour later there was one on my stove!!! Ya I killed that one real fast too!!! ICK!!!!

Then don't you know I go to open my silverware drawer and there's one in there!!!! ARGGGGGGG Of alllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the places for them to be!!! Now I have to wash all my silverware, because there is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO way that I'm using them with the possibility that that sucker has been on the stuff that will be going into my mouth! Yucky yucky yucky!!!!!! That one I killed the fastest I think.

Holy frig I'm sickened out by these! I don't know how ppl can handle these in their place. I've also ordered cockroach killing bait and as soon as that stuff comes in (Monday), that stuff is going
E V E R Y W H E R E !!!!!!! No joke. Goodness these things creep me out big time. I hate them!

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

I haven't forgotten I've just been busy

So I know I haven't been posting a whole lot, it's not that I haven't had much to say. Oh the contrary. I've been so busy with my residency. And with moving into my apartment. And of course with EVERYTHING, things have gone wrong and tipsy turvy.

So for my residency we do 15 weeks where we have 24 hours on the unit with a preceptor and 12 hours in the classroom learning various things that are pertinent to our respective residency routes. Mine is newborn-peds (YAY!!!) - but I'm also having a smidgen of time (a week exactly) on mother-baby (ie post-partum).... this area I'm ok with b/c at least at that point mom has already had the baby and so less to do with mom and there's stuff to do with baby. That I can handle! L&D has too much mom and not enough baby - plus too much complication potential.

Then I get to have a week of NICU then two weeks of PICU and then a week of something (TBA) then two weeks of Peds then the rest are TBA. Then once we are in the last week, our academy director/facilitator has a discussion with all the unit directors (ie managers) about us academcy nurses and how we performed and whether we would be a good fit for their unit and it's basically match day because we're expected to decide on our top 3 choices on hospitals and units that we want our home unit to be after wk 15 for the rest of the year (or permanently as I believe it).

So it's kinda crazy how this is going to go because there's only me and another girl in my route because the third girl failed her NCLEX exam and had to drop out of the academy. I just hope that there's plenty of jobs, and not just one that is between her or I getting. The information that I have to learn includes EKG and PALS - hopefully it's not too complicated and overwhelming. Oh the things that I will learn....

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

77 degrees vs. 25cm

So what do those have in common you wonder? Obviously me, but besides that little. The 77 degrees refers to the temperature in the state in which I reside. OMG the weather is awesome! Once we arrived, we come to find out that 25cm of snow hit our city back home!!! Boy did we leave in time! I guess that's a blessing in disguise.

But thing quickly started falling apart. When we got to the border the customs guy took my paper work and asked "what would you do if you don't get approved?" - my response was that I would be "fucking screwed" - I was honest. In hindsight, too honest. I didn't have my filter on. I was nervous and forgot who I was talking to! Ooops. Either way, he let me through and told me to go through to the side and park and go into the building and wait to be called by an agent in the building. Okay then!

Not fun considering I had little tyke with us who is almost eight and has a patience level of about 5 seconds. Plus in the building it states that you are not permitted to utilize ANY electronic devices, and so she couldn't even use her nintendo DS to keep her occupied or anything, or a cell phone. And remember that these ppl can find any reason to deny me entry. If they find my child irritating or me or my husband unappealing in any fashion, I could be denied my visa! So I had to some how keep her calm. Easier said than done! I managed it long enough for me to be called.

I had everything they could want and some extra. BUT and it's a  really big BUT the offer letter that the company supplied, I knew was going to be the issue. We had asked the company to revise it because it was missing information - specifically the contract information required for the visa. Because for TN visas in particular, I can only stay in the US for a maximum of three years at a time. As such, my letter must indicate that there is a definate end date because the expectation is that I will return back to my country and share the information I have learned, with my fellow colleagues/nurses. The problem was was that they were unwilling to stipulate that and so we tried to bypass this by indicating it in a personal letter addressed to US customs and border protection. The agent appeared as though he was just going to flat out refuse me entry but then gave me the chance to try to contact my recruiter. I tried. I really tried. But no one would return my damn call. WTH!!!! Then he took my stuff into the back room and talked to his supervisor/manager who then came out while I was on the phone and got upset with me because I was on the phone in the area that was clearly marked EVERYWHERE that you cannot be on any electronic device and I was silently shitting my pants because I didn't want to say anything perceived to be negative to this boss! Thankfully the other agent who was working on my case spoke up indicating that he had given me permission to use my cell phone! So once I was off the phone (I was trying to get a hold of the recruiter again), I was called back up to the desk by the both of them....

And told that although the terms weren't indicated, that they were going to give me a year visa and that that would give me the chance to fix the discrepancy or that I would have to return home... or find a new employer.

I guess I'll have to put it in those terms to my new employer. We'll see whether they'll be more willing to change their tune once I start the residency and all.