Saturday, July 22, 2017

My place in the new world

I know it's been such a long time since I've updated.

I've gotten through the first part of training. I've gotten into NICU, but learned only recently that I'm not starting the next part of my training for another MONTH (which is almost complete I must add)!!!!

So I'm going home to visit!

But in the meantime, I'm moving out of the hotel that my hospital put me up in and moving into a house with two other ppl - a male and a female. I only got to meet the guy - he's from Venezuela, but he's young. The girl is from Pennsylvania, but that's all I know.

The program that I have gone through, so far, I have to say has been pretty awesome. I feel like it has given me the information that I lacked from the other place.

I found a text book I want to buy that educates me all about NICU. Especially because part of my evaluation has to do with my knowledge bit.  So I figure that this will help with that. But I know that people see a "know it all" and so I worry that if I don't have the knowledge that I will suffer but that if I do, then this will rear its ugly head again.

When I do return I have a day to settle in (tho that involves a lot of other things called running around!) and unpacking and when I did "move in" to said new place, I pretty much dumped all my stuf into my room and that was that. So when I do get back, I have to "unpack" my room and put things in their rightful place. I still have to meet my other house mate. I sure do hope that she's nice and sweet and a good house mate.

Then the next day I have simulation, where I meet my "play mates" - my colleagues who are to be with me on my trek thru this new adventure this next year thru. Unlike the rest of them, I'm in it for at least three years (more if I have it my way!) but the rest of them do not have a contract and so they're just in it for a year because we're all in under "new grad orientation program" banner. I was told that there's 14 in the peds section, but I'm not sure how many in the NICU in particular, but I know for sure that there's only 9 preceptors for NICU ppl including me - unless that's changed.... at least that's what I was told. Hopefully this group will e more like friends and less like a clique - I'm not really holding out much hope.

While I've been here I've had the chance to go North and visit my family in hometown - I went out to my parents cottage and it was awesome....

This is my happy place

Best of all was that my best friend was on maternity leave and so she was able to spend days with me. And my mom took a couple of days off to spend time with us. I spent a lovely week there hanging out with family and loving on my kids and my parents and my best friend.

However, that trip cost me dearly as I stopped for "speeding" not once but TWICE!!! I couldn't even believe it because when I had been stopped the first time, I ensure that I didn't move the car until I knew how to use the rental car's cruise control, cause that's what helped cause the first speeding, cause I couldn't figure it out in the first place and so I wasn't using it and I wasn't paying attention to how fast I was actually going. My fault for sure. But the second time I made sure to use it and so there was no way that I was speeding, so I don't know how I managed that one! Both cops were right assholes. And ppl wonder why no one likes them, they never give proper people any kind of leeway or freebies. Such dicks! Cost me a pretty penny to say the least. Almost cost me my trip to Disney!

Because hubby has decided that come September, we're going to go to Disney! YAY! I'm excited, I've always wanted to go but my parents have always said that we were too poor (or that Disney was too expensive - which ever way you want to take it). So it's pretty special that hubby and I get to bring little tyke and it's all our first times together. I'm really really looking forward to it. Now I'm in the planning phase. I was looking at doing the princess tea party.... it's $135 ya'll!!!!! OMG that's bloody expensive. I couldn't believe it. AND, the "gifts" that of course little tyke will want cost $150!!! Geeze.... how in the WORLD can they believe that those things that they peddle are worth that amount?! Goodness knows. Wowzers! So now we're thinking a meal at Cinderella's table. We'll see if we can get in though.

For now I'm spending time with little tyke. My migraines have been pretty bad. I think it's probably to do with the stress level around here, the noise level and where we are above sea level. Who knows really. Either way, when I get back I'm going to try to get in to see the headache clinic that I found. I'm hoping that my insurance covers them. When I get back, shortly thereafter I have an appointment with a new GP to set up things with one. Supposedly this one is pretty new out of school so hopefully they have a pretty open mind and are good working with me. We'll see though. Like I said... finding my place in the new world!

Sunday, May 7, 2017


Off on a new adventure I go again.

I leave from little tyke in t- 28 hrs. Hubby's coming with me to help pack up and move me from my current apartment in my present US state, to a more southern US state and into a hotel for 10 weeks that my hospital is footing the bill for!!! Sweet right! At least this way, it'll give me an opportunity to figure out the city and where I want to live and where the best restaurants and stores are. Get my feet in the door at least before figuring a few things out.

 I'm really hoping that this time I will get a fair shake and that the people that are supposed to be supporting me and helping me to succeed will actually do so.

I don't know whether I'll be working in the NICU or whether I'm going to be in PCU (progressive care unit - ie step-down ICU). I will be meeting with my person who is going to determine that all by the end of next week. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I end up in the NICU because that's really where my heart lies but who knows what God's plan is and what this person who is assessing me will determine!

At the end of the week, hubby and I are hitting up the water park. We're pretty excited about that. Hubby doesn't like rollar coasters but for some reasons water park rides he's ok with, either way, I'm alright with that! So we're going to make a day or two of it and spend some nice quality tim together.

We tend to argue when we travel (if he wouldn't be so stressed out and stop listening and stop being patient, it would be alright.... but alas, he's soooooooooo bad) so I'm hoping against hope that THIS time is going to be different. I'm delusional, but who knows, maybe he'll surprise me. HA! We'll see. Anyways, it'll be a few days before I get on here again I'm sure. Wish me luck!

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Long time away

I know I've been away a long time from here, it's with good reason.

America's been a bitch to me ya'll. Not the patients (mostly), it's the nurses.

My hospital has renigged on the deal for my TN visa and pretty much fucked me over. So starting out over here has just started out on the wrong foot. And it's just continued that way.

My co hort for my nurse residency seem to hate me. I understand that I'm an intense person, but I'm friendly and outgoing. I'm loyal and awesome and yet not ONE has been willing to befriend me! I'm an outcast! I want to say to them all "fuck you all, I don't need you". But it's not worth my time and effort. It does make me sad though. I'm lonely here because hubby and little tyke are back home and I'm here all by myself.

The units I've gone to, my preceptors for the most part have been two-faced. They say nice things to my face, about how good I'm doing and then after I'm done my week of experience there, several have contacted my coordinator and then turned around and said things that should have been discussed with me face-to-face.

I only found this out when I was 3/4 done this whole thing, so I couldn't even try to attempt to "fix" whatever these ppl were complaining about, they weren't giving me the opportunity. But from that point on, every preceptor I had, the first day I talked to them and told them flat out that I wanted feedback from them real-time, not at a later date and if they felt that I had done something wrong or against policy (considering I'm new and don't know policy yet), advise me what the policy IS at this facility, instead of keeping quiet but then saying that I told ppl things against policy - to my coordinator.

Because of the TN issue, hubby (who is a natural researcher) was looking to see what's out there in terms of sponsorships (expecting that things would take like 6+ months), because we were done getting screwed over by using the TN visa. Well he found one and they contacted me and we talked and right off the bat they asked if I would come work for them!!!

Now, I should tell you at this point that this hospital offered me this the day after I had a meeting with current hospital who put me on "final written notice" because ppl were c/o me instead of talking to my face - but because I'm still in the "learning phase", the ownership is on me, not on others. Such BS!!!  So when new hospital offered a job, it seemed like God was intervening and that this was the path I needed to go down.

Well I got my official offer yesterday, contract and all. I'm nervous as heck. I haven't told current hospital. I don't know what I'm going to tell them. It's frustrating that I moved my entire life here and I get treated like this. But I also want them to know that I appreciate the fact that they offered me this chance.

With new hospital, I don't know yet whether I'm going into NICU or progressive care (step-down ICU) - we're going to figure that part out when I get there. I'm really really hoping that they're good with me going into the NICU. I LOVE LOVE LOVE NICU. It feels like that's where I'm meant to be.

So now I start to pack up this apartment, and begin the search for a new one!

Saturday, March 11, 2017

I found my niche

Oh my goodness I love the NICU! I cannot say how much I love it. I'm saddened by the fact that I am only unable to spend 24 hours there in my residency. But alas, we must move on.

I got to spend time with some feeder-growers, but ones that kept us on our toes. One of which would brady and have hold their breath - a septic work up showed an infection brewing but cultures didn't grow anything in the blood or urine. 48 hours of IV antibiotics and the poor baby seemed to be over the hump. Hopefully that's all that was needed.

Our other baby has chronic lung disease and provided us lots of frustrating moments because the baby would be low sating - setting off the monitor.... then a moment later be high sating, again sestting off the monitor as the expectation is that if a baby is high sating for more than a few minutes, then the nurse should turn down the FiO2. But if the baby was turned down, then we would end up with the monitor showing a SpO2 of 50-60%!!!  Not where you want a NICU baby! But we couldn't be chasing this baby all day long with the FiO2.

I was lucky to have a coach who showed me the ropes, but gave me the ability to show what I could do. By the second shift, I felt like I could try my hand at taking care of the babies - gavage feedings, tube feedings, changing diapers while the baby is still in the isolette, assessments, etc... And by the third day I was doing all the babies myself as well as the charting - and my coach was just checking my work afterwards to make sure I didn't miss anything.

I seriously hope that I end up there. It was seriously my cup of tea. Oh how I loved cuddling the babies and taking care of their needs.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

So nasty

I rushed to move into this apartment. I don't know what condition the former tenants left the place in before I came in but when I moved it it wasn't terrible so I was willing to move in when it wasn't 100%.

I'm rather regretting moving in, or moving here....

I'm dealing with COCKROACHES!!!!


These things gives me the BIGGEST heebies and I'm dealing with them in my bathroom and kitchen primarily - and yes I understand this as they like the moist environments and with the kitchen there's always the microscopic (I keep it pretty clean) bits of food.

They were supposed to "bomb" my place today while I was at work today and when I came home I found my cupboard doors open which means that they did but when I came home and went in to my bathroom to use it, there was one.... just crawling around.... ewwwwwww...... ya, I squished that mother ***er!

Then later I made some tea on the stove (I haven't bought a kettle yet) and I put the tea bags in a container after I had used them and when I came back to throw them out about an hour later there was one on my stove!!! Ya I killed that one real fast too!!! ICK!!!!

Then don't you know I go to open my silverware drawer and there's one in there!!!! ARGGGGGGG Of alllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the places for them to be!!! Now I have to wash all my silverware, because there is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO way that I'm using them with the possibility that that sucker has been on the stuff that will be going into my mouth! Yucky yucky yucky!!!!!! That one I killed the fastest I think.

Holy frig I'm sickened out by these! I don't know how ppl can handle these in their place. I've also ordered cockroach killing bait and as soon as that stuff comes in (Monday), that stuff is going
E V E R Y W H E R E !!!!!!! No joke. Goodness these things creep me out big time. I hate them!

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

I haven't forgotten I've just been busy

So I know I haven't been posting a whole lot, it's not that I haven't had much to say. Oh the contrary. I've been so busy with my residency. And with moving into my apartment. And of course with EVERYTHING, things have gone wrong and tipsy turvy.

So for my residency we do 15 weeks where we have 24 hours on the unit with a preceptor and 12 hours in the classroom learning various things that are pertinent to our respective residency routes. Mine is newborn-peds (YAY!!!) - but I'm also having a smidgen of time (a week exactly) on mother-baby (ie post-partum).... this area I'm ok with b/c at least at that point mom has already had the baby and so less to do with mom and there's stuff to do with baby. That I can handle! L&D has too much mom and not enough baby - plus too much complication potential.

Then I get to have a week of NICU then two weeks of PICU and then a week of something (TBA) then two weeks of Peds then the rest are TBA. Then once we are in the last week, our academy director/facilitator has a discussion with all the unit directors (ie managers) about us academcy nurses and how we performed and whether we would be a good fit for their unit and it's basically match day because we're expected to decide on our top 3 choices on hospitals and units that we want our home unit to be after wk 15 for the rest of the year (or permanently as I believe it).

So it's kinda crazy how this is going to go because there's only me and another girl in my route because the third girl failed her NCLEX exam and had to drop out of the academy. I just hope that there's plenty of jobs, and not just one that is between her or I getting. The information that I have to learn includes EKG and PALS - hopefully it's not too complicated and overwhelming. Oh the things that I will learn....

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

77 degrees vs. 25cm

So what do those have in common you wonder? Obviously me, but besides that little. The 77 degrees refers to the temperature in the state in which I reside. OMG the weather is awesome! Once we arrived, we come to find out that 25cm of snow hit our city back home!!! Boy did we leave in time! I guess that's a blessing in disguise.

But thing quickly started falling apart. When we got to the border the customs guy took my paper work and asked "what would you do if you don't get approved?" - my response was that I would be "fucking screwed" - I was honest. In hindsight, too honest. I didn't have my filter on. I was nervous and forgot who I was talking to! Ooops. Either way, he let me through and told me to go through to the side and park and go into the building and wait to be called by an agent in the building. Okay then!

Not fun considering I had little tyke with us who is almost eight and has a patience level of about 5 seconds. Plus in the building it states that you are not permitted to utilize ANY electronic devices, and so she couldn't even use her nintendo DS to keep her occupied or anything, or a cell phone. And remember that these ppl can find any reason to deny me entry. If they find my child irritating or me or my husband unappealing in any fashion, I could be denied my visa! So I had to some how keep her calm. Easier said than done! I managed it long enough for me to be called.

I had everything they could want and some extra. BUT and it's a  really big BUT the offer letter that the company supplied, I knew was going to be the issue. We had asked the company to revise it because it was missing information - specifically the contract information required for the visa. Because for TN visas in particular, I can only stay in the US for a maximum of three years at a time. As such, my letter must indicate that there is a definate end date because the expectation is that I will return back to my country and share the information I have learned, with my fellow colleagues/nurses. The problem was was that they were unwilling to stipulate that and so we tried to bypass this by indicating it in a personal letter addressed to US customs and border protection. The agent appeared as though he was just going to flat out refuse me entry but then gave me the chance to try to contact my recruiter. I tried. I really tried. But no one would return my damn call. WTH!!!! Then he took my stuff into the back room and talked to his supervisor/manager who then came out while I was on the phone and got upset with me because I was on the phone in the area that was clearly marked EVERYWHERE that you cannot be on any electronic device and I was silently shitting my pants because I didn't want to say anything perceived to be negative to this boss! Thankfully the other agent who was working on my case spoke up indicating that he had given me permission to use my cell phone! So once I was off the phone (I was trying to get a hold of the recruiter again), I was called back up to the desk by the both of them....

And told that although the terms weren't indicated, that they were going to give me a year visa and that that would give me the chance to fix the discrepancy or that I would have to return home... or find a new employer.

I guess I'll have to put it in those terms to my new employer. We'll see whether they'll be more willing to change their tune once I start the residency and all.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

The time has come

For things to change.... a LOT

We FINALLY got word that my visa stuff got approved and so things have started to move quickly!

We told the family yesterday that I would be moving on monday - four days from now! And why should I not be surprised but they were not happy for me. To be honest, I think that they were shocked. They were upset that I was going by myself and that I would be leaving little tyke and hubby here in Canada and going and living by myself in the southern US.

Now I'm in a bit of a panic to get everything done - my medical records to take with me (done today!), I also have to pack (still have to start that - heck I still have to get boxes!), get my prescription meds done for the next 6 months (at least then I won't have to feel pressured to find doctors where I will be working/living. This turned into a nightmare and maybe I'll write a whole post on it, we'll see! Man, my life is never boring!

Tomorrow I have to go to the DMV to go get my driver's abstract because when I return to Canada then there will be a history of my driving record, otherwise I will have to start ALL OVER AGAIN and I have a pretty darn good driving record if I do say so myself! Because as soon as I go to the DMV in the state where I settle (which is required in the first 6 weeks) I have to surrender my Canadian license to the DMV.

Tomorrow (which is now today because I had to continue writing the post on the next day) I went and got money exchanged and paid child support of Big boy who lives in home town, that should be interesting experience once I move and have to pay it - maybe it'll be hubby paying it on my behalf - we'll see. Right now I have to pay it once a month by a certain date and pay it directly into their account and so I just go to the bank and get it done. At least that's one thing checked off my list of things to get done before I leave!

Then I had to go procur some boxes! Of course for free! Who doesn't like something for free?! I do, I do!!! Well my mom works in a grocery store and she taught me a long time ago that they have the best boxes for moving - for free!!! If you go and see the produce ppl, ask them for apple boxes in particular - they are built stronger and have really nice lids. Then my next choice would be banana boxes - as long as they have lids - if not, I leave them. The thing about banana boxes though is that on the bottom there is an area in the middle where there is no bottom - so you kinda have to do a bit of arts and crafts if you're willing to take these boxes - simply take other boxes, rip them apart and run a section down the middle of the box to help support the bottom of the box from the inside. Plus for larger boxes all you have to do is look to the grocery area and talk to the ppl there and ask for the bigger boxes and normally all they'll ask you for is your name and ask you to come back for them at a certain time because they'll save them for you. Either way - this is the stage that I'm at... I have to go get my boxes tomorrow morning.

Then I had to talk to my recruiter (who is the senior recruiting manager thankfully) about drafting another offer letter as there were items missing or things that I needed added to it for when I need to go across US/Canadian border monday morning. But of course, in my life, things never go according to plan and so I had to track them down again later down in the day because the letter had to be changed yet again but in the end was able to get to a satisfactory point. Hubby was able to help me with finding the rest of the information on the CBP website in order to write my own letter that supplements my offer letter because my recruiter couldn't couldn't put certain information in it. Point is is that my work wants me but won't sponsor me to stay around forever and so I must go with a NAFTA (I'm sure you've heard about this in the news lately) related visa in which it runs out at the end of three years and must be renewed if I want to stay at this hospital in this position.

So pretty much Saturday will be spent trying to get the med situation figured out - seriously, it's a shit show! And I also have to pack - EVERYTHING - I seriously haven't packed a thing yet. I also have some organizing that needs to be done. Because once I leave, hubby needs to still be a dad - I don't want him to come back here and check out of being a dad - letting his mom take over all the responsibilities of being the parent of little tyke. So these next few days are going to be very very busy! So I suppose I should go to bed and get some sleep. Those boxes aren't going to fill themselves!

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Oh to have little tyke home

And everyone else that is. Hubby was the first to come home. I would like to say that it was nice to spend some time together but from the moment he stepped back into the same country as me he proceeded to argue with me incessently and usually  needlessly - like PICK YOUR BATTLES!!!! I don't think he's ever grasped that concept. Either way, we did spend a bit of time together and that was nice. We did get to celebrate the fact that I passed the NCLEX - WOOO FRIGGIN HOOOOO!!!!

Just last week little tyke came home. I am so unbelievably happy to see her again. But OMG ppl, she has lost an unbelievable amount of weight while she was there. So much so that I'm taking her to the physician on Friday. It's from serveral different things (I think...) - from the moment she got to Pakistan she was really sick with a respiratory bug that I think she caught on the plane or in the airport(s) (big surprise considering what kids touch!) and then with the water and food being different over there she developed diarrhea and didn't want to eat or would hardly eat anything and then when she looks like she's getting over the resp bug and is on the mend she all over the place and wouldn't be kept down - always wanting to play with the millions of kids that were visiting - all the cousins that were visiting and such. Then just as she's about to come back here she's struck again with some resp and intestinal thing and it's coming out both ends. They are able to get her to stop vomitting so she's not dehydrated and she's still willing to drink and such so they weren't too worried.

So to have her home and in my safe and capable hands again is more than I can say! I've nursed her back to even keel almost. She's no longer having diarrhea. She's eating properly and indicating proper hunger responses. She has a nasty cough but I don't think pneumonia - I do think that perhaps she may have caught influenza while she was there. Actual influenza, not the thing that ppl just say - Oh I have the flu, when in fact they have a crappy cold or an older kid has caught RSV. Who knows. Either way, it's taken a nasty hit to my child in terms of weight as well. I was told that she had caught head lice (big surprise! - yuck!) and so her first thing was to have a bath and so I stripped her and I was SHOCKED at how much weight and muscle and adipose my little tyke had lost. She just doesn't look healthy. She looks very unwell. So we'll be having a well/un-well/check-up with our doctor on Friday and we'll see just how much weight she's lost and I'll be asking for some blood work to see if there's something more sinister at play at work as well.

But since she's coming home she hasn't really left my side other than to go to school. She has been suffering from some wicked jet lag poor girl. Hopefully all this will blow over soon. Til then I'm here.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

How I went about passing the NCLEX-RN boards

I know that a lot of people wonder how other students go about studying for the boards. These things create unimaginable amounts of stress, so I understand why one would seek out information from ones who have done what they can to pass.

So I was fortunate enough that my uni bought this prep program that went along with our prep book - Elsevier adaptive quizzing program and HESI/Saunders questions - on general we had ~120 questions per week. I think that was helpful to get me ready for information I'm not familiar with. From this I learned where my areas of weakness were. And then most way through my semester the school paid for us to take the Kaplan weekend seminar. I found that quite helpful in how to approach a question - that it's always about assessment first and if there's the option of calling a Dr or assessment, choose the assessment - it almost always gives you more information that's needed.

Then once I graduated hubby and I figured that learning info then doing questions may work and so we bought NCSBN program and I was doing that for a bit - but it was dry and very boring. I was having a lot of difficulty getting through it and feeling like I was actually working positively so I took it upon myself to buy UWorld. Then I did my weak areas first and after going through the 75 questions, I remediated and I took my time with that - making sure that I understood why I got a question right as well as why I got things wrong - or why certain choices were right and why others were wrong. When I started that, I generally got through 150 questions but I would flag questions that I either got wrong or I felt were really important for me to remember & look at before the NCLEX.

I also had the Kaplan trainer tests that I reserved for when I was prepping for the exam. I did two more but when I was remediating, I found that I didn't like their information that was provided - UWorld absolutely beat Kaplan out in this area, hands down!!!

Overall, I feel like the Elsevier adaptive quizzing program and HESI/Saunders questions program as well as UWorld are what helped give me the best chance at being successful on the NCLEX. For those who come to it after me - remember prioritization and safety - that's primarily what my exam was about (at least what I can remember - stress and high anxiety will do that to you!). I wish you luck and every chance at success at beating the beast that is the NCLEX.

Monday, January 16, 2017

In the meantime

I was expecting to have to wait until monday to have my name show up on the board of nursing and show my registration number. It was awesome. Absolutely filled me with such pride.

Because it was finally official though, I could apply for license verification in the state that I intend to practice in - holy expensive though.... $150 later! Still the problem is the SSN so I need the visa ppl to hurry the hell up now and complete their shit so that I can get my license stuff in order. But that needed to get done so at least it's active and when I have the other stuff done I can easily provide the SSN and the completed fingerprint/background stuff and be on my merry little way.

So I'm trying not to worry about it overly so.

For now I am completing my shadowbox. I'm using my clinical nurse top with my student ID tag with my name on it to symbolize me while I was in school. Then the program for the pinning ceremony as well as my pin (for obvious reason). Below it I added the nurse's prayer - I think it turned out beautifully - except that I ran out of the letter 'e' and so I placed all th other letters and left spaces for the 'e' when I buy more (hopefully tomorrow or the next day). And finally the grad cap and gown as well as the grad commencement program. I decorated my cap and added a saying and a few decorations. That side turned out perfectly as well. There's an area above the clinical top that is open that I'm trying to find a quote or saying to put in the spot to even things out. Obviously it has to be nursing related. Will have to do some research - any ideas?

I'm also trying to get doctor and dentist visits done - I have a dentist visit tomorrow - two hours long because I know that I have fillings that need to get done and then again on Tuesday. Then I have appointments in the next two weeks with the immunologist and the immuno dermatologist (the one who diagnosed me with the hidradenitis suppurativa (AKA acne inversa) - those two are on the same day which is kind of funny and happened by chance! Then I have an appointment with the neuro opthamologist for testing on the friday and then I see him for the results on monday. Then up is little tyke's dentist appointment - I should have made her appointment extra long because she has a bunch of cavities that need fillings but didn't think of it at the time. The one that we're dealing with at this appointment is one that is so badly off that it has to be pulled. I'm not sure how she'll handle it but she was pretty good with getting her cavity done before so I'm hoping that this will go just fine as well. Then lastly I see the surgeon who operated on my bottom as it still hasn't fully healed up (we think that's actually related to the hidradenitis suppurativa condition which I can talk to her about when I see her. Then lastly I see a physician that's supposed to take a biopsy to see if I have this weird respiratory condition (knowing my luck it'll come back positive -lol). So it's set to make for a busy month what with little tyke coming back from Pakistan this week as well and wanting to spend as much time with her as possible. I'm going to miss her so so so much. Thank goodness for skype, text, whatsap (think facetime) and plane rides!

Now I just have to make time to keep things open to get everything done so that I can go to the US to my waiting job. I can't wait to start it, I couldn't have developed a better program for myself if I do say so myself!!!

Friday, January 13, 2017

Knowing my future

I was so impatient counting down the time to 3pm when my results would become available. We paid extra and was on the phone with my bestie while hubby was constantly checking the site to see if things were updated.

Finally we see....


OMG one ginormous hurdle is passed to getting me to my destination job that starts in 37 days!!!

Then I called my mom and told her the amazing news - because it is amazing news!

So now I need to get my license verified in the state I acually intend on getting it in. And I have to get my visa - but I have to get my papers from my hometown college sent to the visa ppl and I have to get my NCLEX results sent to the visa ppl as well.

I got my degree in the mail when I arrived home and I sent that to my work as well as my transcript that shows that I graduated (they required both). Then I sent them my CPR stuff because they demand that I have AHA not Red Cross. Stupid but whatever. Their other thing is all about my SSN but that's all wrapped in my visa and getting that all done.

I talked to my old nursing program dean who said that she would have the visa paperwork done today or by monday. Man she needs to get this done ASAP! I know that this all takes time and so it needs to be taken care of now.

Monday I'll call my work and talk to the main person to find out what else they need at this point, other than my SSN of course. But at least for now I get to bask in the glory of passing this vastly important exam and being able to juust carry on with my life. Though I must say that it feels a bit weird to not have to study for anything right now.

Waiting expectently

I took the dreaded NCLEX-RN - it was as ever scary and nerve wracking as I expected it to be. As I arrived at the building and was sitting in my car talking to my best friend on the phone and having a minor freak out, a lady was coming down the walkway who seriously looked every bit how I felt internally. Her hair was FRAZZLED!!! And the expression on her face told the story about how terrorizing the NCLEX is, whether it be the PN or the RN.

I had no idea whether I was going to get the 75 questions or the dreaded 265 and potential 6 hrs of testing. As such I opened a ton of these little candies that I like to suck on because I have dry mouth due to my meds and I knew that I wouldn't be able to have water in the exam. So I stuffed a bunch of them in my mouth before going in the room. Ha!

Because I've gone to that location previously, it made the process quicker - it's not like my vein pattern had changed since my NCLEX-PN exam from several years ago. Off I went - to my computer in the corner. Perfect for the ADHD-er in me! OMG If I had ppl on either side of me, it would have been so difficult to focus... it felt like it was meant to be for me to have this spot an be given the best opportunity at success from the get go.

Now.... with these exams, it's kinda how you start out, how the middle goes and how you end! To be honest I can't quite remember which questions (except one), which I knew I got wrong so I was really nervous for the next question. But thankfully I got the next one right and so I got a select all that apply (SATA), which is supposed to be the highest kind of question and gives you an idea of how you're doing. So on and on the test went. Then I approached 60 and I began watching the clock and so I turned it off (thank you Kaplan instructor for teaching me that!) by clicking on the clock icon and the clock disappears. Because I knew that I needed to pay more attention to answering well instead of answering quickly.

Then when I approached 70 I got really nervous and had to take a moment to calm down. I answered to the best of my ability of course and when I got to question 74 I said a little prayer when I submitted. Then when the blue screen showed me another question, I was devastated! I had to collect myself and hope and pray that perhaps the program shut off when you submitted question 75, not when you got to it. Boy did I say a giant prayer that this program shut off when I submitted this question. And it did!!!! According to hubby, 87% of the ppl who get 75 questions pass (where he got this stat from I have NO idea) - but I'm sure hoping that I'm one of that lovely majority. We paid to get results in 48 hours, so we should know shortly, but I'm so so so nervous to know.

Now to just wait the required time.... impatiently of course!

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

On the doorstep of the NCLEX

Well I'm right at the brink of taking this exam. I can't say I'm ready. I'm nervous as hell. I wish I had more time but time is not what I have in abundance!

It seems like my US hospital is anxiously awaiting me and have a sixth sense or something because they called today and asked if I have taken my exam. I told them that I have it scheduled in a couple of days. They were excited about that. Problem with that is that now they know and so they will be anticipating an answer. So what if I don't pass?! They're going to rescind their offer and I'm going to lose out on an amazing once in a lifetime chance!

So can you see the stress?!!!!!!  AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Hubby is on a plane somewhere over an ocean..... then he has a layover for a bunch of hours. Says he's going to buy  me a bunch of dates - my request. They're cheaper over there. Plus they're yummy and I want him to buy lots and lots!!!!  I asked for vanilla but according to him they're only $2 cheaper so it doesn't make much sense to buy them there and transport them back. Meh, whatevs.... I know he's bringing me back jewelry. Pretty stuff too. He sent me a couple of pictures while he was there. I'm really looking forward to a couple of the pieces. A couple of the other ones I figure that I may just have to see them first before I decide. Pictures may not do them justice.

Little tyke is having a blast but is missing me BIG TIME - she called me EVERY DAY for the first three weeks and then once her dad got there she's been more relaxed and so only when we talk does she come on the phone. But she's texting me as well which is neat because she's gotten so much better at reading and writing that it's even an option this year, whereas last year that wasn't.

I suppose I should head to bed and get up early - I have to go get my fingerprints done so that I'm ready if my NCLEX is passed I can get my license endorsed in the state I need it in. Plus I want to do a bit of shopping and I still need to do more studying. I don't think I would ever feel ready for this damn exam. I wonder if anyone ever does?

Sunday, January 8, 2017

What fruit a new year bears

Hubby went away to Pakistan. What an adventure that was. He had trouble leaving in the first place. First when he left it was a breeze. It took about 10 minutes and he got his boarding passes and away he went. And I gave my kisses goodbye and went home.

The minute I drove into the driveway (seriously), his brother called and asked about helping bring them to the airport. Goodness that made me peeved because I had just come from getting a bag from their place that my husband was going to transport on their behalf and I could have taken other bags and just waited for them to arrive there and spent more time with my husband at the airport. Now I have to spend time and gas going back and forth to the damn airport. UGH.... not what I wanted to be doing lets just be saying that! But they're family and so I said that I was coming over to help out.

Well when I went over to their house, they weren't even ready!!!! UGHGHGHGHGHGHG OMG I was so frrustrated. SO I had to sit around their house waiting for them to get ready.... trying to be patient - challenging for sure! In the end I helped bring them there and drop them and their stuff off at the airport then headed back home....

And AGAIN the moment I drove in the driveway hubby was calling me to tell me that his flight got cancelled and I needed to come pick him up!!!! WTH, I just got back from there!!! Then I had to figure out how I could get this to work out. So I told hubby to hold on the line while I tried to three way with one of his brothers and see if they were still at the airport. Thankfully the one bro was and indicated that he could pick up his brother and bring him back and drop him at the house. He ended up at the house real late and I ended up having to take him the next morning at like 3am - goodness it was so early.

Well when I hear from him again he's on the phone over the great big ocean. Weird because I expected to hear from him while he was having a layover in the US. It turns out that when he got to the airport and checked in, they didn't give him the boarding pass through his connecting flight in the US and so when he got there he needed that and when he got to the gate there wasn't a person there that could give him a boarding pass - so he had to ask others stewardesses from other airlines to try to help him and he finally was able to find one who would try at least and brought him to the TSA area to speak with them about how his airline didn't have anyone at their gate like they were supposed to in order to give him a boarding pass. So thankfully the TSA person got a hold of his airline and made them give him a boarding pass like should have been done in the first place. Because of all this BS he almost missed his flight - his layover was almost THREE hours long!!! This sort of BS is exactly why we always make our layovers that long or longer! I'm just thankful that he was able to get on the plane in the end!

Well lo and behold, while he was there, he finds out that the previous night the flight could have occured because his flight got cancelled because the belief was that ppl wouldn't have enough time to make their connecting flights.... well in the end, the connecting flight ended up being delayed anyways and he could have made his flight and been on his merry little way the day before!

But he landed safely only to be told that they lost his luggage. Funny thing was was that I had told him that he should put a change of clothing in his carry on just in case his luggage gets lost and he told me that "it'll be fine".... well lo and behold, that is EXACTLY what happened!!!! Serves him right! hahahaha So much so that he had to wait two days to get his clothes. hahahaha stupid guy! Maybe he'll learn his lesson from this (not likely tho!)

Now, my husband is the eldest of the four boys. When his brother (the groom) arrived two days later, it was hubby's responsibility to pick him up. Well his stupid ass brother lost his passport as well as $1400!!!!!!! Now for those of you who are thinking holy shit about the money.... think holy shit about the passport more.... and the fact that this idiot didn't bring his citizenship card with him to prove he had citizenship for that which he has a passport in. So of course hubby calls me telling me that he now has to bring his brother to the capitol to the embassy to help his brother and see what needs to be done. Of course hubby wakes me up at the ass crack hour of morning after he arrived in the capitol and talked to them and required me to take his brothers citizenship card to one of the passport places and gave them the card, the reference number that the embassy had given hubby to give to me to give to these passport ppl as well as my ID to show that I'm the one who brought it. Maybe this is why I needed to be kept behind? I've always believed that God has a plan!

What I also found out when I went to get my BILs citizenship card, was that NO ONE who went over to Pakistan had taken their citizenship card! Not even my husband! And I had even asked him about this before he had left the house! I couldn't believe that all these ppl were that stupid to leave this country and not take the one card that actually proves that you're a citizen of that country - it's like going into that country and not taking a passport... they wouldn't have done that, so I don't understand why they left this card behind. It's so beyond stupid IMO! Its something I will yell at him about when he gets back.

Just hopefully I will pass this damn NCLEX exam and he won't have anything to yell at me about! hahahaha