Sunday, December 21, 2014

The reason for little girls

Today we had our first ever tea party. Little tykes friends (2 from school) and one we've known for like 4+ yrs came.

It was a TON of fun! We thought about this because when we went north to go have Christmas with my family, my mom's best friend's daughter gave us HER daughter's tea set.... and it's impressive! It's care bear (not that you really notice it in the cups but the saucers have little bears on them - which the girls thought were really cute so it's all good!) and think deep shade of pink which it's ultra feminine but very pretty none the less. Then because I wanted to meet the mommy's I decided to make it a mommy and daughter tea. Of the 5 invites I sent to school two said that they could come. Then of course I invited my pal and her daughter. So because of this I went out and bought a tea set that the adults could use. It was a really simple design, though elegant. IMO the day was a great success. Now if only I could get better at time management for things such as this! I totally needed just another 30 min (I suppose I shouldn't have "snoozed" my alarm twice!)

Little tyke had a TON of fun and so did I. I hope we can strike up some outside school friendships. the mom's seem pretty cool so we'll see.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

This MUST be a joke

My journey through school to get my BSN finally has seriously been a roller coaster.... several ups and a BUNCH of downs.... with many twists and turns.

But I've always hung on, thinking that God has a plan and that with him, all things are possible....

I'm living in a house that I have grown to hate, with people I seriously detest (and I KNOW feel the same way), in a situation that makes me depressed if I think too much about...

I work in an area that I'm undervalued and underappreciated. Where I do the SAME duties as a BSN nurse but get paid at LEAST $5 (minimum!) an hour less. But I think, well this gives me knowledge and skills I need to have as a BSN nurse so it's all good....

Well I've been on this road for 5+ yrs now... and I STILL don't have my BSN.... I'm STILL experiencing roadblocks and difficulties and ignorance/intolerance....

It's hard not to feel deflated to hear "no" YET again. To be told that they won't can't help me.

It seems that when I find an open door it gets slammed in my face.

I talked to the contract person today and told him that we had to change avenues AGAIN.... he gaffaed at the incredulity of the situation.... that he had NEVER experienced the difficulty in ANY student previously before as I have had (should I be surprised, no.... but I was).

Anyone know anyone in Michigan that would want to help a student out with placement???? Let me know! I certainly need it!

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Klebsiella pneumoniae - an interesting fact

Had a pt who has a UTI that has this growing in her urine.... that went in and infected her blood. Then because of this all she went septic and her liver and kidneys shut down....

Now the interesting thing is that this specific strain that the pt was infected with can ONLY be caught by FILIPINOs!!!!

Majorly weird.... even talked to infectious disease doc about it.... don't know how the pt even contracted the infection because they hadn't been to the philippines in years (yes their race was filipino in case you were curious).

Unfortunately, my pt spiked a temp tonight as I was leaving, also complaining of RUQ pain and then also had decreased sats (was 95% on my shift, no SOB at all) - the new nurse couldn't get the sat >90%,.. so off I go paging the on-call to get orders.... portable CXR and a change in antibiotics (still that the bacteria is sensitive to but in a different class).... so hopefully tomorrow we'll see a change for the better!

Friday, November 28, 2014

And I do my job so well

My last shift made me feel like I've mad a difference in a person's life for the legit first time.

I had a pt who needed an IV because of being on IV antibiotics and the doc wouldn't consent to an oral route. So I asked a colleague to help me out - they were a difficult stick and have had plenty of sticks so I figured I would get the best instead of rumagging around in their arms trying to find meself one! Well after break we managed to get a chance to get a go at it.... we both go in the room.... and JUST as she sticks my pt....


Now a few months back we were getting sooooo many fake alarms because of the ppl who designed the building and made the code blue buttons look like they could be call buttons..... so they put a shield over them to defer ppl from doing this..... now when they're pushed they're usually legit.

So our unit doesn't actually have our own code blue cart.... we have an AED.... BUT we ARE just down the road from one (we are next to cardiology and they have PLENTY of legit codes so it's only apt that they have their own!)...

Well it just so happens that where my pt's room is is riiiiiight across from where we store the cart (incl suction and oxygen tank in case the wall one doesn't work).... so because I wasn't being used in my own pt's room I went racing out and grabbed said stuff and raced to the room where the code was.

Upon entering the pt was in high fowlers so I immediately dropped the bed flat while a different colleague applied a non-rebreather... as we were getting this all done EVERYONE arrived.... the code team - the ICU team and of course all of my unit colleagues....

The ICU nurse handed over the CPR board.... while someone else applied leads on the pt and yet another went about hooking up the suction in the room....

The ICU nurse yells out "everyone stop we need to see if there's a pulse"

She subsequently checks for a femoral...

Nope, nothing.... "OK, start CPR"

Well my colleague, bless her heart, is vertically inclined and said that she would do CPR - ya I stepped on that one and told her ya right (oh ya, for some god unknown reason someone had put the bed HIIIIIIIIIIGH in the air) so there was NOOOOO way that she was getting to this guy's chest in order to start compressions! I told her to lower the bed and I would start CPR...

And goodness did I.... all that was going through my head was getting the rhythm right and the depth.... and immediately as I pushed down on this guy's chest did I hear (and feel) the "crack" of breaking ribs..... geeze it felt like I broke his damn sternum! And for the next 5-6 compressions I broke more ribs.... the thing that was going through my head at the time was "well if I'm breaking them then I'm doing something right!".... then time seemed to make me realize that I'm supposed to be counting for 60 compressions so that this guy could get some breaths!.... so off I go counting.

About 3/4 of the way there the RT decides that they're going to intubate and so off they go trying to put a tube in this guy..... and boy did they yank on his jaw and neck trying to get him intubated.... hell I could even see down his throat!!! But at least he was able to be intubated!

Then the lead doc decides that I had done CPR for long enough and declares that I need to change places.... so I stop.... and they check for his pulse....

SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!! A steady rhythm with a pretty good BP!

People seem to calm down and we wait a few minutes watching him and waiting to see if his heart will stop again.... and thankfully it didn't.

We got him stabilized and transported him to ICU where he started to come to and actually trying to move.... ALL a fabulous sign!

I can't wait to go back to work and find out what has happened since. It was all very thrilling to be a part of this and to actually be successful! To think that I actually DID something to bring LIFE back to someone! And trust me, you could see the INSTANT that life came back to his body. It was magnificent! THIS is the reason why I love nursing.... why I want to work in critical care.... to make such an astounding difference in someone's life.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Stupid administrators and good news

Got little tyke ready for school this morning and found a stupid lovely letter in her backpack that informed me that....

She has headlice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT????!!!!

 Why the hell did I not get informed about this?! Immediately phoned hubby and yelled at him (he picked her up from school on Friday and did NOT check her bag).

The note said that she wasn't allowed at school until cleared by a family doc or by some head lice checking organization. Of course me indicating that she didn't have any (I checked her entire damn head and found NOTHING).

Soooo off I went to the walk-in clinic that my family doc runs... to find out that it was actually my doc doing it so I put myself on the list (I needed a refill of my pain meds and antiemetic).

I told him about my appt with the immunologist and the surgeon and so he forwarded information on to the immunologist about which testing we'd done already... so then when I see him in January he has a copy of the serology that we HAD done previously on my immunizations.

Then I had him check little tyke for lice and eggs and he found..... NOTHING - just like me!

Then I had to pay $20 for the damn note!!!! To prove what I already knew.

So when I dropped little tyke off at school, I indicated that she didn't have any lice but I still had to get a note for nothing and I thought it was ridiculous! Then they told me that the note didn't indicate that but just that it was found in other students.... ya, their note was completely obscure.... so I told them that they should reimburse me the money it cost me. They agreed that the letter was obscure and that they knew about it and were going to reword the letter. They told me that they had to look into whether they could reimburse me and said that they would get back to me.

Several hours later they actually called me and said that they would reimburse me!!! YAAAY

Tomorrow I have observation of little tyke at school so when I go and sign in at the office I'll get the chance to be reimbursed! Hopefully this causes them to reword the obscure letter and prevents other parents from experiencing this!

And now the good news.....

I found out today that I have a clinical placement!!!!!!!! FINALLY someone said yes! AND they've already selected a preceptor on my behalf! OOOooooo I can't wait now. I don't know any other details but I'm sure I will soon. I'm so relieved. Now I'll be set for the upcoming semester. The downside about this placement is that it's like 10+ hrs away from my current home - good news is is that it's only 4 hours from my hometown.... so when I go up for clinical I hope my mama will come to visit me. Wish me luck with this placement. I hope things will go well.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

It's been confirmed, I'm not a hypochondriac

I went to the immunologist today.... good news is is that I'm not allergic to anything...

bad news - he agrees that "something" is up with my immune system - especially given my symptoms:

Hx of meningitis, recurrent abcesses
Inability of immunizations to stay active
Insomnia & excessive fatigue (I seriously have to sleep 10+ hrs to feel rested - and that's WITH meds to help me sleep!)
Joint pain - issues with my back, feet and knees

He asked if I had had any blood tests to check my immune system - I told him that when I had brought this up with my family doc I was told that he didn't want to - that he wanted to leave this up to the immunologist to decide. I would have been more ahead had I just insisted more - now I have to wait another 2 months (that's when I go back) to get some notions about what the hell is going on with my body. It's nice to know that I'm not crazy and that I'm not a hypochondriac (like my husband likes to believe! - he was a bit shocked when the immunologist agreed with me! It was awesome!!!!)

So I have testing to do - 11 tests in total - CBC, TSH, Immunoglobulins (G,M,A,E), ANF, ESR, C3, C4, CH50 - all baseline things that will give us an idea of what we're looking at or what further testing would need to be done.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

No more pokies for you

Tonite I had the pleasure of taking care of a lovely lady who made my shift almost enjoyable. Unfortunately I had the displeasure of poking her finger to check her blood sugar (though not a diabetic - with a stroke you can get high blood sugar readings and so we will often check their sugar for several days to ensure that the stroke hasn't affected the ability to control their glucose/insulin levels ) and it's been checked for long enough to know that her levels are JUST FINE....

so since she was such a peach about everything I figured that I would give back and talk to the MRP on her behalf and get her blood sugar checks discontinued....

which she was insanely appreciative about - hell she almost hugged me! Made for some great times!

THIS is one of the reasons why I love my job! Especially when it's something within my power to accomplish.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Killing me softly

For the last three weeks hubby's BFF, his wife and their two sons (almost 5 & 1 1/2 yr old) have been staying with us. All well and good except their sons have no semblance of boundaries and whine CONSTANTLY!!!!!!! If it's one thing I cannot stand it is that! I just wish that one or hell both of them would actually do a bit of parenting and step in to discipline them! Ok, I understand the whining from the youngest, hell he's a toddler, it's expected though it should still be nipped in the butt before it becomes a constant like his brother's! But alas, no such actions have been made. So ya, now I'm VERY happy that they've moved into their own house. So many times I just wanted to reach out and snatch the child, shake him and tell him to act like his age (the almost 5 yr old) or hell, spank his ass! Goodness knows the child needs some discipline! Several times the 5 yr old smacked his mother and other times would threaten to do so.... without them stepping in or stepping up - I unfortunately had to walk away and stay away in order to get through their stay.

On a separate note.... halloween just passed. Little tyke was sooooooooo excited. I had to work but I had everything put together so that it would be easy for hubby to take her out. He did so and she loved every second of it. She decided to be a fairy like last year - I think it was more because I got the movie Frozen themed winter boots and they went with last year's costume - plus she loves the wings. So I allowed her to wear the boots with the fairy costume and they went brilliantly together.

Work has been a bit interesting.... I had a woman in for a completely different issue and when I was in the room to talk to the roomate about her stroke and do some education, I overheard the woman mumbling to herself, not making much sense. I got called out of the room before I could investigate and when I came back she was sitting on the side of the bed with her IV tubing in her hand and the site leaking... because she had pulled it out. Her facial expression was blunted and almost appeared like she was drunk or drugged or soemthing. Weird considering she hadn't gotten any meds that would cause these symptoms. VS were within normal parameters. Blood sugar was a bit high but nothing that would explain what was being seen. So off I go to call the on-call doc - because this is happening at 2230hrs of course. Earlier in the evening I had to speak with on-call because the stool sample came back positive for c-diff. So she was familiar with whom I was referring to but told me that she couldn't come see the pt because she wasn't on site anymore. So she told me to call internal medicine on call so that's what I did. Nicely, they have their office around the corner from our unit so he said that he could come over and assess the situation. He checked out her labwork and there were a couple of values off (the day before when I had her her sodium was high so she was on 2/3&1/3 to try to bring it down) - now her sodium was down but so was her potassium (go figure!) and her magnesium was off and so was her phosphate.... so I got orders to try to fix some of the electrolyte stuff.... as well as stat CT of her head since she was no longer oriented or responding appropriately - she was also taking longer to respond..... the picture was just weird and didn't make much sense! At least I wasn't the only one thinking so! When I went in thte next day I found out that the CT came back with no new changes and no explanation as to why she was now confused and that things did not change when I went home or anything. We're hoping that once the c-diff clears up then her cognition will improve. Here's hoping!!!

Friday, October 17, 2014

What I'm learning about that will help me post ebola

Guess you could say I'm a bit obsessed. Much to hubby's disapproval. He thinks I'm over reacting.

But being prepared for the shit hitting the fan (SHTF) could mean the difference between life and death in a few months time.

Tampons will be more beneficial than just stemmin the flow of my menstrual cycle - it can be used as a bandage if the gauze is split open flat and applied to the wound.

Nylon can be used for filtering or as a tourniquet rataher than on my legs.

Fruit cake is an excellent food source to hoard as you don't have to worry about storage because it will last outside cling wrap or storage containers for MANY a years and it's high calories (if a bit empty).

For heating a room - put black plastic bags on the windows - but leave a gap in the bottom and the top - that way the cold air is drawn into the bottom gap, is heated and flows out the top gap.... thereby heating the room.

Did you know that snow with a red tinge is bad for you?! Don't know why exactly but don't eat it or you'll regret it!

You're going to want to keep warm - boil water, heat or even cook some food - in order to do that you're going to have to make a fire..... a couple of tips from survivorman -
1. Use cotton balls and petroleum jelly to create a fire long enough to ignite wood
2. Use corn chips as well
3. Did you know that DUCT TAPE will work too?!
4. You're going to want to bring your fire with you so that you don't have to go through the steps all over again at your next stop..... so bring cigars with you - a puff here and there will keep it ignited
5. If you think it's going to rain, build a big fire and then put big pieces of wood on top and protect the fire as much as you can and that way you don't have to rebuild and sacrifice valuable resources!
6. If you don't have cigars, make your own with wood products and simply roll a big enough package of them into a giant cigar.

I just hope I can make it to my parents cottage in time instead of trying to make it through the winter weather on foot because you knkow that if you don't leave early enough EVERYONE is trying to be leaving as well and you'll end up stuck where you are. If you leave too late then you're going to get screwed over because then you'll experience anarchy where everyone is trying to take from everyone else... and I don't want to be on the receiving end of that crap storm. If by some unfortunate possibility, I don't make it before hand or I only get part of the way there, then that means I have to somehow get my family north by foot - and it take 8 hrs by CAR... so just imagine how long it will take if we have to go by foot. Also - how in the world are we going to survive the wilderness in the WINTER?!

So ya, I'm worried - just a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bit..... and personally I think everyone should be. Ebola isn't being stopped in its tracks and that means it WILL spread to here in North America. It's only a matter of time where it's not being contained over here as well. Time shall tell really.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Ebola should scare everyone!

I don't know how many people are paying any attention to the news... Check out this most recent report Ebola is out of control and its effect on nations. Don't think just because we're a 1st world country that it won't be the SAME THING! Schools will shut down, as will hospital - look how many health care professionals are losing their lives because of this virus.... you honestly think ppl will VOLUNTEER to care for the sick when they have families that they don't want to infect.

You better believe that the first signs I see of infection in my province I am hightailing it out of here! I WILL go north - to my hometown - so that we can ride out the storm and SURVIVE! Yes I became a nurse to help others but this virus is going to kill BILLIONS of ppl before it is stopped or putters out. If you don't believe that you're nucking futz. Hell, the CDC believes that 1.4 million are going to contract this virus by January - right now that number sits at approx. 5 THOUSAND right now (though they don't quite know because these countries have a lot of back countries and so numbers being reported aren't exactly accurate by any  means) - so rest assured that they are UNDER reported... but that's besides the point.

The point being that the numbers are only going to exponentially go further out of control. Just you wait and see. Things are so close to out of control - and yet things are being downplayed so to not create riots - though those are coming as well. It's just a matter of time. Hubby is STILL in denial tho.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Dead in the water.... and Ebola

I've gotten the official word that I'm dead in the waters for this semester. I couldn't make clinical work out to get to the university so now I have to start from scratch next semester. I'm so pissed I got screwed over. I hate that clinical objectives are subjective. At no point am I being told that I'm a bad nurse, or are showing bad skills - quite the opposite. I was told that I'll make a great critical care nurse but that the hospital I was in was run by physicians and once you set that in motion, then you're doomed. Man I feel fucked over!

I guess the only good part about this is that I will have the time to dedicate to the elective I'm taking. Especially because I felt overwhelmed taking the elective with the nursing course. I felt like I had to dedicate all my time to the nurse course and so of course the elective took the brunt of the hit. The only lucky thing is is that my mark hasn't suffered (yet) because of it.

Now changing gears....

I tried to have a serious talk with the hubby this AM after he came home from work.... about Ebola. I'm not sure how many of you have Ebola on your radar but you should! I've been watching things and I am afraid of what I'm seeing.

For those of you who don't know, the rates of Ebola are doubling every 21 days - almost literally. I don't put myself up as being very adept at writing about this sort of thing. Another person on the web is though.... Aesop is quite proficient at scaring the shit out of me. The great thing is that it is entirely realistic.

Population as well as the press are stupid if they think that Ebola will stay contained in Africa. Yo ppl, wake the fuck up, it's coming across the pond and doing so soon! Once it does, don't be surprised at the swiftness that it spreads. It's VIRULENT!!! Like as in 70% of the ppl infected DIE!

I tried to explain this sort of thing to my husband - who is a biochem major - and he LAUGHED AT ME!!!!!!!!! Wow was I furious! I couldn't believe how foolish he is to think that it won't come to Canada! It's already come to the US so what makes him think that it'll stay on their side of the border?!

Frankly, all this makes me want to run north to my mommy's cottage and stock pile a whack load of food and hope for the best! Hubby said that he wants to wait another two months to find out whether it will be contained on the other side of the world.

I'm willing to wait a bit but man am I nervous. When I was at clinical I got together with a girlfriend and talked to her about Ebola. Now, I'm in healthcare.... I know nothing about how to get by without modern things - I certainly don't know how to break down wheat into flour, make my own soap, etc... So how the hell would I get by in the world if 70% of the world's population died?! I'm not sure I would want to. However, who's to say that I wouldn't be one of the 30% who survive or are immune to this (unlikely tho cuz I'm pretty sure I have an autoimmune disorder - more on that in another post - I have an appt with an immunologist for November so we'll see how that goes).

Would I really want to live in a world where my husband or my children no longer are around - where I'm all alone? Or what if my parents die? How in the world do I survive? I suppose I could go live around the memonite (there's a community of them outside my parent's city) and learn from the experts.

The good thing about being up by my parents is that there's an ample supply of firewood and fresh water, and quite a bit of land to potentially get food to survive - so at least it has that going for it. Too bad it's 8 hrs away and there's no way that my husband would allow us to stockpile gasoline and we would need two tanks of gas to get to my parents.... so how in the world do I convince hubby of the seriousness of this situation???? ANY ideas are appreciated!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

I'm so pissed and embarrased

Hubby thinks I should keep things to myself. However, this is my blog and it's my story and frankly I need to get it off my chest.

I was failed for clinical because they didn't like me!!! I was failed because I was too much of an eager beaver!!! Because I am too assertive!!! Is that enough punctuation marks for you?!

I'm pissed at them... and at myself that I can't keep my emotions in check. That I am passionate about being a nurse and trying to get my BSN.

Hubby warned me that my placement had stuff on the internet that indicated that they are known to be like this.... of course this was the last day that he informed me of this. And it was rather too late to do anything about it.

I can't believe that I get 3 1/2 yrs into my degree again and this sort of thing happens and puts a big stop to it. I can't believe I'm being stopped again. All because clinical is subjective.

At no point was anything that was told to me about whether I was a bad nurse/incompetent - just that I rubbed people the wrong way. And that they were under the impression that I was there to OBSERVE and not actually DO anything!!!! like WTH???!!!! What clinical placement is observational?!

The only upside is that my clinical faculty advisor sees things as being primarily interpersonal and is willing to give me a second chance.

Unfortunately, she wants me to come to the university but I can't get a temporary license because I can't get one of the aspects required for it and so now I think I'm pretty screwed. I will find out tomorrow I guess. I don't know what options I have now :(

I had difficulty finding a hospital in the first place and now I can't do placement at this one (not that I want to anymore). UGH!!!! WHY MUST THIS BE SO HARD????????

Saturday, September 20, 2014

My placement rocks!

Finally got a moment to post about placement. The hospital is ginormous! I couldn't believe how big it is. My hospital is BIG.... this one trumps it almost three fold! It's amazing. I found out it's about 15 years old, so it terms of newness, it's pretty new (IMO).

I saw some pretty cool things. Didn't do much myself until the last day there. I put in three foley catheters and discontinued one as well as an IV. Nothing spectacular but at least I can check it off my clinical skills checklist. Oh and I did a TON of EKGs so now I feel pretty confident about doing them myself. At my hospital we have a tech that does them all. I was thrown into the lions den with those the very first day.

Day one was pretty awesome, there was like 5 traumas in like a 4hr period of time. The first one was the best. Maybe I'll write about it another time. HIPPA might come back to bite me in the ass because it's an interesting case so I need to figure out ways to change details to get around it. I did get  involved on a little one who was dropped and suffered bilateral skull fractures..... the poor little one cried the ENTIRE time... I mean, I would too.... I'm pretty sure he/she was experiencing a pretty terrible headache.

Another person we sort of dropped into our lap. We were floating in the unit and were doing something to help another person when my preceptor Anna noticed that a fellow nurse was running towards CT with a patient and knew that something bad was going down. So she called for me and off we went running to help. Well it turns out that their pt was having a seizure when the chief complaint they cam in with was COMPLETLY different.... as in they were classified as a NSTEMI and when they were questioned further told the nurse & Dr that they also had a headache with hypertension and so the doc wanted to clear this person's head..... just in case it was something else!

Well good thing they were already on their way there.... too bad this pt wasn't protecting their airway very well. Completely non responsive. Got an emergent CT scan and the oxygen level remained high enough that an emergent intubation wasn't required at that point. We were able to get the scan and found the pt had a subdural /ventricular bleed... neurology was pretty sure it was an aneurysm that burst. While they were trying to get a scan with gallium for a more definitive determination, the pt started to come back neurologically and respond to pain and shortly after that to voice. We then moved him/her to trauma bay "just in case".... good thinking!

Neurology decided that they wanted him/her to be put on a cardene drip to control the BP to be <140 systolically... well for those who don't know, you have to wait 15 min after starting to know what the response will be on the BP. Well the BP dropped from a SBP of 150ish to 103.... not a good thing so we paused it. And for the next 15 minutes, we hung out in the trauma bay while different hospital services came and did their assessments. We let the spouse come in and sit and chat during this time. The doc also came in and talked to both of them to find out what their wishes were for treatment and such.... good thing, especially considering what was to come!

The pt was complaining about how their chest and their head was killing them... I asked a couple of people for orders for a pain med. It's not fair to the pt to stay in pain (IMO) but I wanted something that wouldn't strew neuro findings (as a narcotic may). Because the pt had soiled themselves during the previous seizure, we also took the time to cleam them up. And we also put a foley catheter in because we knew that the pt was sick and would need close monitoring.

After we were done, the pt asked if they could sit up some so we put them at a 60 degree angle from about a 15 degree and didn't do so quickly, but simple took our time. Then not even 2 minutes later the pt started SCREAMING about how their head hurt and that it was "stabbing" so my preceptor went out of the trauma bay and I dropped the head back flat because I figured that THAT was why there was a change.... then the pt stopped responding and had a tonic seizure right in front of me while I was trying to do a neuro assessment. Lost consciiousness and was super rigid. Before this happened, I had given her a mouth swab to wet the mouth and tongue since we wanted the pt NPO (nothing by mouth).... mouth swabs were cleared by the doc though provided they didn't swallow. So when the seizure happened they clamped down on it and I had to pry it out of the mouth. Then I ran to the door and yelled that the pt was having another seizure.

Then a code was called so that the necessary people come running and I swear, 20 ppl arrived in like a minute! It was quite impressive. One of the residents that was involved in this case during the original seizure came to the head to try to protect the airway. I was at the head of the bed and was responsible for monitor. I did another BP and it was now 198/130 (I know the top number but I kinda forget the bottom one.... though most often we generally care only about the top one anyways).... so that was quite shocking. We turned the cardene drip back on, this time higher than it was originally while the docs got situated. During this early phase the spouse was still in the room (OMG right!) and I made contact with them to try to let them know it was going to be alright and that we had things covered. At some point the spiritual care person took the spouse out of the room and comforted them.

In the meantime the pt's heart was going crazy and doing all different (very bad things) such as torsades which then progressed to 2nd degree heart block (FYI this one can lead to cardiac arrest) so out comes the code cart... all while other people are pulling up meds to intubate. THANKFULLY her own heart cardioverted back to a normal rhythm (probably because of the cardene drip) so we could focus on intubating... which went without incident.

Then things calmed down a bit and a lot of the people left the room, and we proceeded BACK to CT to get another scan.... which showed a progression (we kinda figured that though). And then we brought th pt back to trauma and by then neurosurgery made their decision about what they were going to do.... they were going to do a "bolt".... which means that they were going to do a ventriculostomy - drill into the pt's brain to stick a tube in to drain some of the fluid off the brain while measuring the intracranial pressure (ICP). I stayed pretty darn close since I'd never seen it before.

Unfortunately the pt was a fighter of the propofol and started to move when neurosurgery was making meaurments so I was asked to go under the sterile field to hold the head in the correct plane. Well it's a good thing that I kept my hands there because there were several times where the propofol amount wasn't enough and required more.... in a one hour period of time the pt recieved 400mg!!! As well as Versed.... so it was shocking that this person kept trying to move. We also put restraints on - just in case.... good thing for that because I'm sure that the pt would have pulled the ET tube out or at least broken the sterile field.... bad things either way!

It took a bit for the bolt to go through the dura but once it did you could immediately tell the pressure in the pt's brain was extreme because the fluid came out immeasurably though once the bolt was in a tube was threaded through and then hooked up to a measuring device that was based on gravity to draw the fluid out. Immediately 18cc was taken off which is a SUPER high amount. But you could tell that the fluid that was draining wasn't just blood but cerebrospinal fluid AND blood mixed. The closest comparison I can explain it to is serosanguinous fluid.

We eventually got the pt stabilized enough to take to ICU. Boy was the entire thing from start to finish crazy though! I must say, I can't wait to go back!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014


Had work over the weekend. It sucked. Had to take care of a person who came as a direct admit from another hospital's ER to our unit that really should have gone to the stepdown ICU - as in RR of 34 with nasal flaring and major abdominal and shoulder breathing (just shy of sternal indrawing) so ya, pretty serious! ABG's came back as respiratory acidosis, however, person was DNR (including no intubation - YAAYYY finally!) but even said "If I knew dying would be this difficult I would have signed up for something different!" WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?!!! I mean, they're 85 years old - so it's not like they haven't lived a good long life!

I tried to get ahold of family - called the contact number and left a message. Got a different phone number for a different family member - tried that one and was told it was the wrong number/person - and the other person was in another country several hundred miles away by plane and didn't want us to call them. We have to abide by their choices.

Next day, come in to find out that I would be now transferring this person to where they should have gone in the first place. Family has shown up. On the way to the SIMCU we talk about what would happen once we arrive - that the person would be put onto bipap since ma/pa decided to be a DNR - they didn't take that information well - they were shocked that this person would choose this without consulting the family! How incredulous of them! I explained that this was decided at several different points along the way - before any extreme fatigue and hypoxic confusion set in - spoken about to SEVERAL different HC professionals. That I (as well) spoke to ma/pa about this and was confirmed that no heroic attempts be made to save their life. What the family was so upset about was that one of the children was in another country and should this person die, that this would be a very bad thing and that THIS part should have been discussed first so that this person would be given the opportunity to make it should things turn south. 

THAT part I could understand. But again, I had to stress to the family that the ultimate choice was still up to ma/pa and that all they could (we included) do was speak to ma/pa about their decision and maybe postponing it a bit until said family member could arrive at bedside since they were doing so poorly and required such measure as the bipap to be able to continue breathing.

Situations like this make me wish that I was finished my BSN and could follow this story. The little ol ma/pa was a sweet ol soul who I enjoyed taking care of. They had a bit of a spit fire about them. I hope that should they decide to maintain the DNR that the suffering is minimized. I think dying from a respiratory issue is a terrible thing since you are so acutely aware of air hunger when unable to breathe anymore. ya never know, ma/pa could pull a miracle out of a hat and turn a corner - crazier things have happened!

On an entirely separate note - almost started bawling this evening.... saw that Kate Middleton is pregnant with baby #2 - yay for them but boy does it make me feel blue (and green).... one of the girls is pregnant at work, I was happy for her.... then I found out one of my pals is also pregnant (was told just this past weekend)..... I'm really jealous (I'd say envious but I think I'm past that point). I WANT A BABY!!!! I WANT IT TO BE MEEEEEEE!!!! I know that when hubby decided no babies for us that I was crushed, but I figured that I could get over it. I'm not so sure. I want what everyone else is having but me. I know getting my BSN takes precidence but how do you balance the needs and the wants?! So ya, I was gutted by the news of everyone else getting the chance to be pregnant and have babies and I don't. It sucks and I just want to crawl under my blankies and wallow in self pity. Maybe I just will.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

I don't share stuff very often

Facebook is a place where I procrastinate on and the other day was no exception....

And what I found was all kinds of awesomeness!!!

Hopefully this link works....

I like the song and what they did DURING the song is spectacular!!!

What do you ppl think?

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Summer trip was fun - now back to the grind - ***It's going to be a long post

I'm coming up to the end of my holidays. It was nice while it lasted. Going home to see family and friends recharged my batteries. I don't feel absolutely overwhelmed for this semester at least. For the summer one I certainly did, hence why I had to drop one of my summer courses. We're finding that the first month and a half is insane with due dates and such. I figure that they do this to overwhelm as many people as possible to have those who can't cope end up dropping the course.

I'm doing my core nursing course - nursing care of the adult II - and I get to do it at a level one trauma center. They have six helicopters at their disposal so ya, I'm excited to say the least. I finally got a hold of my preceptor (lets call her Anna, cuz I'm sure I'll talk about her again and it will make it easier - as you guessed it, not her real name!) with whom I was emailing back and forth with but needed to speak with over the phone. Unfortunately, I was having difficulty arranging this because I was on vacation and she was working a LOT - likee 52 hours a week or more! I left messages and she FINALLY answered just the other day. I was starting to get UBER nervous/anxious that I would have to ask for a different preceptor because I couldn't get in touch with her and there were forms that needed going over in order to be able to be granted permission to start my hours by my faculty.

When I finally did get a hold of Anna we talked for two hours first and my cell phone provider cut me off indicating that I had talked long enough and their policy indicates that at that point, they cut the call off. Thankfully she was a good sport about it when I called back. Then we talked about another 40 minutes!

We talked about the unit and what sort of things are seen, what I should expect as well as a little bit of homework - mainly meds that are used a bunch that I'm not familiar with. We talked about goals - Anna wants me to give CPR during a code a go and for me to learn to read ECGs and know what ones are important. On my unit we have the capability for tele but don't use it, for whatever reason. We did talk about the different things I am familiar with, being that I work in a hospital.

The only thing that's upsetting about this semester is that I don't get to do it with my friend. We became friends being that we were in the same beginning/graduation class and frequently interacted with each other and it just lead from there. A couple of months ago she told me that she started bleeding - she's post menopausal - so this abnormal. She indicated that she had a history of fibroids so I figured it was something like that. I was wrong. While on vacation she texted me to tell me that she was diagnosed with cancer, so of course I called her immediately - straight to voicemail (ARGH!), which I left one of course. Once at the hotel I called her again and got a hold of her. Thankfully she was only stage one (possibly two) but would need surgery ASAP to remove her uterus but that depending on test results may require radiation (but probably not chemo). Unfortunately, she would be out of commission for over two months recovering and such (if not more if she had to have radiation) and so she had to bow out for this semester. I'm so thankful that this was caught early but it's so crappy that she has to miss out on a semester because of it. She's come through a lot of things to even get to this point (hell, know the feeling!) so I know she can get through this - she's a strong, strong woman!

Another crappy bit was that we had arranged for our clinical to be at the same hospital and so we were going to share the cost of accomodations and such. Now I have to do this all by myself. A new city, new hospital and everything that goes along with these things. Such a bummers. I went into this thinking I would have a good friend to debrief about my experience with (maintaining HIPPA of course) and now I won't.... til next semester anyways. Plus this means that we probably won't graduate together which makes me really sad.

Speaking of school, while on vacation we stopped at the university and met my current prof, tried to brown nose a bit. We also bought some uni parphenalia as well as a pocket guide (extremely useful for this course - and the next course - which I found out should be critical care based) so this should be perfect. I got this pink hoodie that is really sweet and I can't wait to show it off. It will replace my current one that my MIL hates. I also got a coffee mug, T-shirt and a half zipper sweater (that I like the color of but not really the decals or the half zipper aspect - IMO it should either be a hoodie or a full zipper).

The trip was tons of fun - well except that around St. Louis there was new freeways that my GPS didn't know about (nor did it recognize the address of my hotel) - and hubby yelled at me because I listened to the GPS directions and not to his (he was the navigator - but it's not like he had a map that he was telling me directions off of) and so we had a huge blow out on the side of the highway until we figured our shit out and carried on our merry little way (an hour late we arrived at our hotel but whatever, it's not like we were in a hurry!).

We missed a couple of the BBQ places we wanted to go to, which was incredibly disappointing. But we made do and found some yummy foods. We went to the St. Louis zoo which was a LOT of fun, I highly recommend it! The only thing there that disappointed me was that the giraffes were penned into the barn area so you could see them closely, but couldn't touch them, whereas if they were allowed to go to their habitat area then you could potentially touch them (was really hoping I could!) - instead I had to be ok with just seeing them through bars. Another really cool part was that they had a ton of elephants (a bunch of baby ones too that were really cute) that were fun to watch. Lastly, a lot of their animals you could get really close to because they put glass close to the animals - case in point - the gorillas were a disgusting hoot - there was a husband and wife (the female was grooming the male so I figure that they were attached) that we checked out and watched for a bit and boy were we entertained!

First the female picked her nose (ok, ewwww), looked at it and then ATE IT!!!!!!!!!  ARGH!!!! Then two minutes later she vomitted INTO HER HAND (gross again) then ATE IT!!!!!!  OMG yucky! Then she went back to grooming her mate and eating whatever she found. Her mate had a wound on his shoulder and she stuck her finger into it and AGAIN proceeded to EAT IT!!! I couldn't believe it was happening. Again she went back to grooming her mate when all of a sudden he turned around and SCREAMED at her (I think she was a bit stunned), then he turned around and let her go back to what she was doing. So we moved on. Boy the memories tho!!! HAHAHAHA

It was a great trip - hopefully I can get the photos uploaded onto the computer and actually put some up. We'll see how busy keeps me!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Summer trip fun

Leavin in the morning - just a couple more hours - for our road trip

First we're heading to Toledo, OH to have lunch there at a BBQ place we found - look yummy! Then we're continuing on to Cincinnati, OH where we're going to hit up Entertainment Junction - a really nifty place that hubby found that has the Island of Sodor (Thomas the tank engine show) all set up with active trains and you get to play with them and interact with the island and the trains that more.... UBER neato! I've very excited to check this out and find out how little tyke will enjoy it. After that we're hitting up another BBQ place - but in Cincinnati - and we'll stay the night there.

Next day we're hitting up a seafood festival just across the river in Kentucky - oooo I can't wait to get a hold of the food there! Some lobsters (believe they're coming from Louisiana) and crawfish and scallops. YUMMY stuff! After that we're going to head to Tennesee and see if there's anything for us to take part in in Nashville. Then we're going to continue on to St. Louis, MO and stay the night there.

Next day we're heading to the zoo in St. Louis - it's rated #2 in the US so I'm really excited. They have 575 different species of animals. Plus there's a train that you can get on and off of which will save my feet cuz let me tell you they are SORE!!! I worked evenings yesterday and today and I ran my butt off today at work (2 admissions and giving a blood product to another person - but in a different area of the unit - so that = LOTS of walking.... which = VERY sore feet!). I think little tyke will LOVE this place.

I think we'll have lunch in Indianapolis (not quite sure yet!) then continue through Michigan all the way up til you can't reach any further and go visit family. I'm missing my mom - and little tyke is missing her nana and papa. Plus big brother is there and we miss him. Papa is supposed to be picking him up the next day so we get to spend a bunch of time together. That will be nice! I hope he behaves and leaves the attitude at home!

Then we have some down time to go swimming in the lake, 4 wheeling and hot tubbing - ok and some card playing with everyone (a bunch of mom's friends are also going to be there - ladies that I've known for almost 20 years so they're like my mom almost) and I get to love on my BFF and her little one. Lots of fun to be had! I can't wait!!!

And since I actually found my camera again (we loaned it to my BIL/SIL and hubby didn't remember and didn't believe me when I said we did) I might actually be able to load some pics of said fun. Til then, have fun but stay safe!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Update to the drama - and some more

Little tyke has improved - THANKFULLY! Not that her Dr was any help! I ended up having to follow up with a different doc and so she got better.

My oc-health time frame is up and so I was hoping that I could start back at work full shift work and all - any amount of time or shift throughout the week. And then I got another abcess - no fistula this time thankfully and it opened up and relieved itself (so to speak).... so then that puts the kibosh to getting back to work how I wanted.... made an appointment with the surgeon - who indicated to me that he thinks this situation may just be permanent - something that I'm going to have to deal with. He signed my papers to continue my work schedule for another three months.

Oh for the drama....

I'm not getting any younger - and neither is hubby for that matter. Little tyke has been bugging us for siblings. Hubby and I have always agreed that once I'm done my degree THEN we would continue the baby making process. Then last month he asked me to have a baby. I told him no and reiterated that we had agreed to wait til after the degree.

Then he comes home from work the other day, crawls into bed and whispers in my ear and asks me to have another baby. I told him no and went back to sleep. But that whole day I wondered what made him think about this and whether he was actually serious. So after my shift I came home and sat him down and asked him about his intentions - whether he really does want a baby.... I seriously broke it down for him.... that we had complication in the pregnancy with little tyke (pre eclampsia) and that it was possible with another baby. That barring any complications, we would have the baby in like July and then I would start consolidation/pre-grad placement in September so we wouldn't be able to wait. That if we didn't have a baby now then we would have to wait another 3 years (I want to get this thing afterwards that will mean I have to work 60-80hrs per week - just like a doc) and then that means that I will be high risk for a pregnancy. That we are not living on our own in our own house - we esentially have a bachelor room (one single large room - no separate bedroom). It was a pretty in-depth serious conversation. I knew what my decision was in the discussion but he wasn't so sure on his side. I told him that since it was a big decision that I would give him a bit of time to decide (3 days actually).... then the next morning I renigged and told him that he was only getting the day - and after my shift was done that we would have to talk again.

When I got home he evaded talking. Not a good sign but he sometimes plays hard to get. So then I asked him straight out what his decision was - his answer - "not at this time" - I was dumbfounded. HE was the one who had brought this whole subject up.... HE was the one who asked ME. I couldn't believe that he would do this to me. It's completely him crying wolf. He completely got my hopes up and then ran a knife right through them. I couldn't believe it. I was so shocked and hurt that I started crying. It's something I try really hard to not do because I know that this bothers him - I didn't want him to change his mind simply because his decision had hurt me. I got up and left him there and went to try to collect myself and then went to bed. Nothing seemed to actually help though. I think I cried for another 45 minutes til my sleeping meds kicked in and I finally fell asleep.

I'm still raw and sensitive inside - I'm having difficulty allowing him to touch me (especially my belly), kiss me, cuddle - anything really intimate. I feel jaded. I feel swindled. I feel stupid. I should have kept my walls up. I knew that what he was talking about was too good to be true.

We're also making plans to go on a bitty road trip through Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, Missouri, Indiana (gonna go check out my university!), and Michigan again then back to my hometown for a beautiful six days. But how am I supposed to look foward to this when I just got gobsmacked. It's easier said than done. I suppose I have to figure out a way to pick up the pieces and continue on.

Oh, and I got back my marks - for my nursing course I got an A+ and for the music course I got an A - I'm certainly satisfied with those marks!!!

Friday, August 8, 2014

Is my life ever without drama?! Part four

So five days later and little tyke's cough isn't any better (and you can feel the junk in her chest when she coughs), but at least her ears feel better and her tonsils look better so at least the antibiotic is working on something.... but something needs to be done about her pneumonia so I called the office and spoke with the secretary about getting the Dr to call in a different antibiotic cuz it's not working for her pneumonia.... and she said that she would pass it on and then once she heard one way or another, would call me back. I figured that the doc would because he actually listens to me and trusts my ability to assess (and diagnose acurately).


No one called me back yesterday, but someone ELSE called me this morning.... to indicate that the OTHER secretary did NOT give the note to the Dr....

OOOOOOOOOooooooo I was LIVID!!!!!! I tried REAL hard not to get angry with her since it wasn't HER that didn't pass the message on.... she said that she would put it on his desk as soon as the call was finished, but that he wouldn't be in the office til tomorrow. UGH!

I swear, this doc had better call my prescription into the pharmacy!!!!

Monday, August 4, 2014

Is my life ever without drama?! Part three

Had a visit with my family doc on Friday - follow up from my visit with the ER - showed me the results of the x-ray.... ya well it showed that I have arthritis in my heel!!!! Goodness I'm only 32, I'm too young for this shit!!!!!!!!! Oh ya, and he figures that I also have a flare up of plantar facitis so when combined it ain't good! He told me to take it easy and let it heal up, take a lot of NSAIDs and that I should be good to go for my next shift.

Also had the little tyke accompany me to him because she was coughing up a storm (and sounding suspicious), was febrile (low grade), and complaining that her ears hurt. Well turns out she has... now wait for it....

Bilateral ear infections


And pneumonia!

The tonsilitis I gathered before we left the house and we were playing around and I saw into the back of her mouth and saw grade 3+ tonsils.... small amount of exudate bilaterally.... so nothing I didn't expect. Now we're doing oral antibiotics Q8hrs & Otic drops twice daily. This has gotten so bad that my little girl knows the deal and ASKS to go to the Dr AND she tells ME when it's time for meds! HAHAHA - remember she's only 5! Poor girl - she's gotten the raw end of the deal when it comes to childhood sickness.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Is my life ever without drama?! Part two

I've indicated before that I'm taking a couple of summer courses - a nursing course and an elective. As a previous post indicated, 5 wk courses are nucking futz! But the drama isn't with the 5 wk course - it's with the course with a group project...

We're doing an evidence based project (EBP) which we're chosen improving the quality of life of breast cancer patients. Chosen is reducing cancer-related fatigue (CRF) and cancer-induced nausea and vomiting (CINV). I specifically chose to ginseng to reduce fatigue. There's six people in the group.

So while putting this paper together - the leader sends out the rough "finished" draft... which when I read it I found that five of us ended up at one point and the other ended up at a different point - which made me question how in the world that happened.... so I went looking in the course areas to find the answer.... to find out that we were all right and all wrong.... that we were all missing the respective parts - so I brought this up to the GROUP (not just the leader - figured it would be easier if I brought it up to the group so she didn't then have to email everyone about it).... and indicated that there's other stuff that we have to get done.

I did more research and found that there was a complete section that no one did - and that the leader did not "assign" for anyone to do it - so I indicated to the group that someone should volunteer to do it - the leader was putting the paper together and I was doing the power point - so someone else had to.... After a couple of days someone did.... but they did it incorrectly! She was supposed to critique the EBP guideline that I had found on the database we were told to use - but she only critiqued the CINV and not a second one that addresses the CRF. This I brought up to the "leader" which she disregarded!

Then there was parts of the critiques within the lit review of our articles that wasn't done correctly and I brought THIS up to the leader and she disregarded it as well. I also did a mark up of the paper that the "leader" sent to us but she didn't change a godamn thing.


I emailed the teacher - letting her know the issues I was having with the "leader" and how she was disregarding everything that I had talked to her about and that I was concerned about the quality of the paper - her response was that she marks it up first and if it still isn't up to snuff then it gets posted for the rest of the class to mark it up - so she said that if I'm still concerned about it after that point then we would cross that bridge when we got to it. She said that it sucks to be in my position becasue I'm between a rock and hard place. So that helped reduce my anxiety.

Then when I was doing the power point I had to put in that the parts that were missing in the critiques I had to indicate this and it did NOT go over well with the "leader" who sent out an email to the ENTIRE GROUP AND THE TEACHER!!! - that she thought that my powerpoint was "incomplete and unprofessional", and that she "redid" the power point. Awesome thing was was that she attached the TWO power points - hers and mine. I was so beyond pissed! I was furious! What a back stabbing bitch!

The next day something awesome happened though, the teacher wrote back this: "please continue with the ppt labeled EBP Echo Group. There is more information, it is outlined nicely and maintains a professional look, but also incorporates pictures." Which is MY power point!!! Booya bitch! OMG I loved the fact that the teacher sided with me. SUCH AN AWESOME FEELING!!!

Now of course this girl can't turn around and be humble - oh no! She turns around and says this: "I do not think Roxie read the information in your power point. Why did you put that there are things the team did not do? I understand we are still working on the project but you wanted to turn in a power point that points out that we are not doing specific parts. I felt it was very  unprofessional to point out flaws in the teams project. It seems that at every turn you are fighting against the team and not with the team."
I was so beyond astonished! I couldn't believe that she would belittle and insult the teacher and think that she doesn't read what is sent to her! I even emailed her as such! My response = "In regards to pointing out that there were pieces missing, I indicated to you that pieces were missing from the paper and you ignored that. It seems to me that you did not read the parts that were sent to you, otherwise such things would have been caught and corrected before the "final" rough draft (paper - not power point) submission was posted - which I took a lot of the information from. I sent you a mark-up of the paper and NOTHING was changed. According to you, the paper was satisfactory and the rest of the group felt the same way."

And, the reason I pointed out things that weren't completed was because I gave her a chance to fix that which was wrong and NO ONE did!!! Plus those parts needed to BE done and so it made a point that the group had parts that needed to be fixed. Then she turns around and instead of admitting she was wrong says "Since we obviously have a difference in opinion that will not be swayed in any direction. I propose that you finish the power point and I will work on the paper portion. Send your mark up to me please and I will make the changes suggested."

Man I don't know what to do with this girl! You would think that she would take the advice of someone in the group who seriously cares about this but instead is incredibly prideful. I just don't want my grade to suffer because of it! Honestly, if we don't get >90% I will be taking up this issue with the teachers because I seriously tried to make sure that this paper was good - I can't do anything more if the leader won't listen or lead!

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Is my life ever without drama?! Part one

I was at work Sunday - I was sitting ON the nursing desk (cuz that's how I roll soemtimes) talking to a co worker when I decided it was time that I go do some rounds on my patients. I stepped down onto the floor with my left foot and when I went to put pressure on my right foot I felt SEARING pain go through the posterior of my calcaneus (back of my heel) and couldn't walk - well there goes the rest of my shift! At that point I gave report on my patients to the nurses who would pick them up off me and away I went to the ER - wheeling myself in a wheelchair a crazy long distance to get there from my unit.

I waited 45 min to be seen by the nurse - sent to urgent care - waited another 15 min to be seen by the nurse there - then another hour and a half to see a Dr - then be sent off for a x-ray and waited ANOTHER hour and a half for that to be done.... it was so long that the Dr actually came to the x-ray desk to find out what was taking so long for the x-ray to be done. To be fair, they put a baby ahead of me (which I was ok with)... but I had NO idea why it took so bloody long. It was stupid long time to wait. Then once done I wheeled myself back the ER area I was in and wait another 15 minutes to be reassessed and find out the results - not broken (that they can see - but it could be a hairline fracture).

Based on the testing as far as can be seen it's not the achilles tendon that's causing the pain - but there's many more fibers (muscles, ligaments, tendons) that run along the back of the heel and to the bottom of the foot. So at this point we don't know why I can't stand on it without major pain. If the pain doesn't go away by Thurs/Fri then I am to see my family doc to do further testing.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

5 wk courses are hell!

Taking two courses this summer - but I just started the second course which is only 5 wks long and let me tell you - HOLY HELL!!!! I thought that there was a LOT of work with a regular scheduled semester course but this 5 wk course is brutal!

I'm feeling better thankfully. Then little tyke went and broke my computer yesterday - hubby was able to do patch work with it so I hope it lasts for at least the rest of the summer.

For tomorrow I have four quizzes, two blog posts, a discussion board posting, a historical document that needs to be completed, and an essay .... and that is only ONE course!

My other course I have to do a power point presentation by Sunday - wow this is going to be quite a weekend!

Wish me luck!!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Feelin yucky

 Sunday when I worked I didn't feel the best but I mustered through my ickiness and finished my shift - then slept part of yesterday then when I woke up today I felt even more icky and slept more of today. I can last for about an hour then feel absolutely wiped and have to nap again. I've been awake for about 4 hours and I feel so bad. I'm lightheaded and dizzy, hot and diaphoretic but not febrile and slightly nauseous - not a good combination.

Don't know what I can do about this except ride it out. I figure it's probably viral.

Unfortunately, I have soooo much work to do. But I just don't have it in me to get it done.

Also, my damn book hasn't arrived. So even if I wanted to do work, kinda makes it impossible. The only thing I get to do is focus on the other course I have work for. OMG I hate feeling this way - this is how I felt when I was pregnant - don't worry, I'm not. Would love to be but alas, we're waiting til I'm done my BSN.

One of the girls at work just announed that she's pregnant - I'm jealous. Snuck up on me actually. I wish it was me. Jealous that a bunch of the people who started on the unit at the same time as me are buying homes and having babies and I'm not doing either. I feel like I'm in a stalesmate.

Wow, not what I was expecting to discuss on this post. Guess I'll stop here. Hope I'm feeling better real soon - I have to work again on Thursday.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

What's up with customs?!

For school I ordered my summer books in MAY to ensure that they would arrive for my course that started on MONDAY....

ya, I STILL haven't received it - almost TWO months after the fact~! Unfortunately I have no retribution avenues to take because the book was shipped by the people we ordered it from and it's sitting in the back avenues of customs.... wherever that is!

The CD I ordered to go along with the book - though shipped separately - has arrived. Now if only I could get my book.

See this wouldn't be such a big deal except that my course is only five weeks long and we're at the end of week one already - so it's rather major here!


Saturday, July 5, 2014

Dinner and quite a shift!

Dinner with pre-teen was good. When I talked to him about why he didn't want to see me - it wasn't about me at all. He didn't want to have to see hubby's family. When I asked him about what he has against my husband he said "nothing" - so I don't quite understand why he wouldn't call me and ask to go for dinner. I'm mystefied! He certainly knows how to hurt my feelings tho.

My last shift was quite an interesting one when I arrived.

I got report about my guy who got his G-tube FINALLY.... unfortunately he was bleeding quite a bit when he was returned to our unit. The receiving nurse called the MRP and she came to check him out and then together they changed the dressing over the tube.

So when I come onto shift and get report, we pulled back the covers and she shows me the abd pad over top and it's quite saturated with blood.... which was quite alarming since only 3 hours previously was it changed.

So I finished report and then phoned the MRP to inform her that just from looking at the abd pad you could tell that he was still actively bleeding.... got some stat orders and away I went.

I figured that since he is now on MY shift, that I would check out the bleeding myself so I took off the abd pad to find that there were 5-6 HEAVILY saturated 4X4 guaze underneath - oh well THAT changed things BIG TIME for me... I called the MRP back and changed things, explaining that it was actively bleeding, had saturated the 6 guazes and the abd pad and that she needed to come assess it herself. In the meantime I was told to put direct heavy pressure over the site for TWENTY MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After 5 minutes my hand was killing me. Now for those of you who don't know - a G-tube goes into the body just below the sternum (middle of your chest - it's the bone that connects the two sides of your rib bones - it's the thing we press on when we're doing compression - tho not really the point of this story so moving right along) - and of course when I pushed down he yelped in pain. At least he was restrained cuz i'm pretty darn sure he would have decked me! I told him sorry but that he was bleeding and I was trying to help him!

While holding pressure the doc calls back and so in comes a nurse asking me to come answer the phone - told her no and that I was told to put pressure on this and that the charge nurse (who knew what was going on anyways) could answer.... so off goes the nurse to just return and question me on how the bleeding is "is it oozing or squirting".... ok.... "it's more than oozing but less than squirting" - so then the MRP gets the support doc (ICU doc who sees ppl who are doing poorly or need to be assessed ASAP) and so of course I have to stop the pressure. He pulls off the 4X4 and it was still bleeding, so he's mopping it up with another 4x4 - probably trying to determine where the bleeding was coming from and whether this guy was going to start clotting at any point. (come to find out he JUST finished his fellowship on MONDAY!!!!! hahahhaa - poor guy, putting him through this already!).

So the doc - in some "brilliant" move, simply moves the plastic phalange against the pt's skin and waits a minute.... well it doesn't keep bleeding so he says "ok, the bleeding has stopped".... YA NO

I questioned him "you sure about that one"

"well, he might not be bleeding on the outside, but maybe internally" Oh, you don't say!

"what issues are we going to have with that one?"

"well he should create a clot so long as his tube isn't manipulated in any sense and it's better for it to be internally because then his body can absorb it as this thing heals" - ok, at least that makes sense!

So we literally left it there, put a couple of drain 4x4 guazes around it and taped the g tube so that it couldn't move, and away we went.

His hemoglobin dropped from 131 to 117 in 7 hours which is pretty steep but we don't transfuse in our hospital until you're below 80 so he's far off in terms of that. He'll certainly live!

This sort of thing we don't see very often at all (uber rare) - but go figure it had to be MY patient!

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Why does my kid hate me?!

Pre teen has been incommunicando for several days. Not like he ever tries to call me. As I've said before, I got screwed by the court system and so he lives with his father. Son hates my husband's family and so has been adament on not coming down here to visit. Last year (or maybe a bit longer) I gave in and said no more. So now the only time we see each other is when I go back to hometown for a visit. And even then, when I do make arrangements, he doesn't always choose to come to me for the entire time. It seriously hurts but I don't know how to make things any different.

For the last two days I've left messages on the voicemail for him to call me back, which he didn't and then yesterday I got an email from his father indicating that they were out of town and if I wanted to reach pre-teen that I could call the cell.... which is exactly what I did. To find out that they're in my neck of the woods. The last time that they were down here, he didn't call me then either. When I found out about this I told him that I would appreciate a call even and that I would try to get together for even a meal with him. Which he seemed receptive to.... so when I mentioned getting together for dinner he sort of stuttered and then said "okay" so I had him pass the phone to his father.... when I spoke with him I mentioned that he didn't talk to me about him taking him away from the hometown (as our court order indicates he's supposed to) but that I didn't want to argue with him about it anyways, but that I was simply pointing it out. I asked if I could take him for dinner and he said that he had talked to pre-teen about seeing/calling me while they were down in my neck of the woods and he said that he had told him that he didn't want to see me. BREAK MY HEART IN TWO!!!!

I didn't understand what I had done to deserve this. I know that he thinks I abandoned him when I moved south, but I did so for the sake of my safety and the security of my family. I also trusted his father that the agreement that we had taken over a year to make, that he would keep (boy was I naive and stupid!!!). But pre-teen doesn't believe a word of this and thinks that I just didn't want to be his mom anymore and that I was choosing my husband over him (not the case!).

so I asked to speak with pre-teen again and when he got back on the phone I gently called him out on it. He stuttered again and said that it wasn't "like you think it is".... well okay, how the heck am I supposed to take that?! I'm pretty sure it's everything I think it is! By this point I'm trying not to cry. My feelings were incredibly hurt and I didn't know what to say. I tried to get him to explain but he just clammed up and wouldn't discuss this further. He said that it was too difficult to talk over the phone and didn't want to do it that way. THAT I could understand so I let it be.

I tried to make plans for Saturday because I was to work Thursday & Friday (but I haven't told him I'm back at work because it's not something that I want to talk to him about and I know that that's information that will just go directly to his father and it's certainly none of his business!) so he talks to them for a minute and tells me that that's not possible. He said that he could do (now today) for dinner but I didn't know how to explain that I couldn't because of work.... which I explained that due to transportation I couldn't arrange it (partially true as we're having issues in this department ATM) and when that didn't work then I tried to explain that there were plans because of Ramadan (month of fasting) - but he doesn't see my religion as valid and so he didn't understand why those couldn't be changed.... then he broke down and started crying - which is difficult for any parent to hear - the kind of crying where the child is actually hurting, where's it's raw and not fake in any sense - and that just made me completely break down. So here we are in a stale mate, both sobbing... I ended up letting him go after we both calmed down a bit. Indicating that since Saturday couldn't work for him and Thurs couldn't work for me that I guess we couldn't see each other.

Once off the phone, I literally broke down sobbing. I love my son but he sure knows how to hurt my feelings! It kills me that we're apart but I also see how he's changing by being raised by his father and step-mother. Hubby sees me in this state and goes off on me about how he's not mine anymore and how I need to come to this realization (not helping matters!) and between sobs tell him to leave me alone! I called my BFF and talked to her (much more sympathetic!) and she helped me calm down. Then during that call the pre-teen calls back and tries to figure something else out. At this point I'm trying to see if we could do lunch or even breakfast one of the days when hubby comes back to me and wants to speak to me. I put pre-teen on mute for a min and hubby says that he thinks I should call in to work and book it off - take it as a personal day. So when I get back on the phone with pre-teen I tell him that I have figured some stuff out and would like to take him to dinner. So that's what the plan is, I just don't know yet where I have to pick him up. I only get him from 7-9pm.... and when I suggested that I would like to possibly take him for a dinner and a movie, I was told by his father that that wasn't ok that I could only have him until 9:30 at the latest. I mean, I'll take what I can get but I don't see why I'm not allowed to - what is he going to do after this point anyways?! I'm pretty darn sure that in the summer he stays up late regularly so I really don't see what the difference is - but clearly it has to do with me seeing him and they just want to control everything.

Problem is, what do I say about him not wanting to see me? Do I bring it up and try to talk to him about it, or just try to enjoy the time I get with him?

Thursday, June 19, 2014

For the times when I love being a nurse!

Last weekend or was it the one before - it all blurs together these days! I was taking care of a young gentleman with cognitive delay. He was sooo adorable. I found JUST the right way to deal with his "behaviors" so much so that he came to recognize me and would instantly be happy I was there (I bribed him with coffee! - Hahahaha). The last evening I had him he was watching a movie and told the care worker that was sitting beside him that she had to move so that I could sit beside him!!!

Awwwww. It was adorable. Those are the day when you love being a nurse!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

I got a placement!!!

Since November or December I have been in communication with my teachers (and even their bosses) for assistance in trying to procure a clinical placement for the fall semester (starting September).... and it's only this past week that it's finally worked out. And even then, it wasn't because of their assistance, it was because of a fellow classmate and friend (Yay Leslie!) helping me out.

When I was in communication with the teacher for the upcoming course we were talking about how she had placed other students in the ER and so when I was talking to the placement coordinator for the hospital, I mentioned that I would be allowed med/surg and ER..... then to find out that she accepted me for the ER TOTALLY excited me!

Then I go to find out that this hospital is a level ONE trauma center - holy hell am I stoked! I LOVE the fact that I get to experience ER because in my university it's considered a "specialty" area and so it's generally only reserved for pre-grad consolidation placement - but it's one area that I wanted to experience but for the pre-grad consolidation placement I want to go into the NICU which means I wouldn't be able to experience the ER and find out whether it's an area I would enjoy working in.... and now I do!!!! I couldn't BE happier! The other cool thing about this hospital is that they have SIX helicopters at their disposal and a ginormous treating area and so I'm sure that they get a LOT of different things come through their ER. I just hope I get to experience some of them! The third and last awesome part of this placement is that ANYTHING my preceptor nurse can do (and the agency will LET me do) I can do as well!!!!  YAY!!!! I was really worried that I would only be allowed to stand by and watch but it turns out that if she's allowed and the hospital will allow students to - I can push meds, initiate IV's, give a blood transfusion,phlebotomy, etc. This is the sort of stuff I can do currently in my job. It would be strange if I couldn't do these anymore. I'm not sure I would like being stifled.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Pneumonia - poor thing

Little tyke has pneumonia. Had a sneaking suspicion.

Last thursday she decided she wanted to sleep with me. I was up most of the night doing my school work and she work up with croup - when you hear your child coughing and sounding like a seal - ya know it's croup. Poor kiddo.

Off I went to run a shower and came back to retrieve her. I also gave her a dose of Ibuprofen - to try to reduce the swelling in her throat.... and the fever that had developed. Brought her to the shower and we had a blast in it - she thought it was all fun and games! At least by the time the water ran cold the Ibuprofen had kicked in and she was feeling more comfortable. Down we went back to bed and tucked into bed. Plus some cough syrup (without any febrile meds in it) but one with a cough suppressant. And she slept good for the rest of the night.

The next day I kept her home from school and battled fevers that entire day - piggybacking Ibuprofen with Acetaminophen (Motrin and Tylenol respectively) - so that they could be controlled. At one point her fever got up to 40.1 - eeek. She complained that day about her ear bothering her but only mentioned it once. No croupy cough at least!

Friday night I put vicks on her and gave her some cough syrup at bedtime and she slept wonderfully!

Saturday you would have thought that she was getting better for how much spunk and sassiness she had! So off hubby and I went for our anniversary dinner and date. While we were out at dinner MIL called and asked if she was allowed to take little tyke to London over night to see family- figured she was getting better so we allowed it. Plus Sunday we were heading there anyways so figured it was all good. No issues as far as I'm aware.

Sunday I'm sure she was up at the crack of dawn because there were children HER age there and so she just couldn't WAIT to be able to play with them! Then more children arrived and she didn't stop for that entire day! When hubby and I arrived she was upside down on a swing because one of her cousins was doing so on the other swing! She was having a blast! So much so that she didn't want to leave! My MIL convinced us that they would drive her back if we wanted to let her stay for a bit longer so we relented. I'm little tyke was so exhausted that she fell asleep as soon as she was put into the car, she was so tuckered that when they got back home, she didn't move a muscle when I picked her up out of the car and brought her inside and put her to bed!

Unfortunately, Monday  morning she came into my room to wake me up and just as she reached my side of the bed she has a coughing fit and sounded TERRIBLE! As in, nursing spidey sense was just a tingling!!!! I asked her if she was feeling yucky again and she said she was - so I told her that she wasn't going to school but crawling back into bed and sleeping some more! Surprisingly she relented and slept for another four hours. I called our family doctor's office to find out who was doing walk-in and found out that in the afternoon it was our family doctor (there's 3 other docs that rotate) so I waited til he was on and brought her in.

I had him check little tyke out first (I had to go in too to get my Hep B vaccine done) and had her tell him what was wrong. While we were waiting for our turn she commented about her ear hurting and told her that she had to tell the Dr about it so when he came in she recalled this right away. So he took a look in her ears. She forgot about her cough but when he asked her if anything else was wrong she looked at me and so I gestured to her about it and she ended up coughing anyways so I told him about the high fevers over the weekend and the croup and how it's turned into the congestion and nasty cough - which he agreed to.... then asked him to listen to her. Which he did and he concurred - it is pneumonia and so instead of just getting the ear drops we were now getting antibiotics. Poor little tyke.

It's been two days now, and with the antibiotics and vicks and mommy loving (and sleeping/cuddling with mommy) she's starting to feel better - which also means going back to school. She's happy about that though, she misses her friends!

Friday, May 23, 2014

We eloped

6 years ago we decided that there wasn't anything hubby and I could say or do that could turn his parents to support our decision to be together. So off we went and eloped.

We met through a dating site and conversed for just over a month before we met up. The day that I met hubby I knew that he was the one for me. I was so incredibly honest that I told him on our second date that if he were to ask me to marry him that day that I would say yes. There was just something about our connection that I knew would last all time. And I wasn't wrong - at least not yet!

That's not to say that we haven't had our ups and downs. We argue like anyone else but we communicate. I've learned that when his mom becomes a raging lunatic (at least once a week) that he will inevitably tranference it to me - and that I just have to walk away. I know that he will recognize his assholeishness (new word :P) and come and apologize.

Let me tell you, if you had asked me in the beginning where we would be, I wouldn't have thought one iota that we would be where we are today. We both have careers, we're both in school to advance our education - but we're still living in his parents house. If I could correct ANYTHING that would be it! Because of how unhappy I've been, hubby and I have arranged our living space to ensure that I have my "own" space that I can be in and get away from the rest of the family. We have a space that we can be together in and recharge our marriage battery. I also know that this won't be forever - we are making headway towards our dreams and aspirations. We are supporting one another, even if that means that we're compromising along the way.

To celebrate 6 years we're going to a hibachi/teppanyaki dining facility on Saturday (even though our anniversary is today) - oooooo I can't wait. This has been something that hubby and I talked about going for for two years or more, just haven't for some reason. But now we are and I'm uber excited!

I look forward to our future. I can't wait til I'm done my BSN. We want to have more children but we want ME to be done that at least. We want to have our OWN house - at least 4 rooms. I want to have a loud house full with my children's voices and that of their friends. I want my house to be the IT house. Just as my house was for my brother's friends (we lived in a neighborhood that had TONS of boys by brother's age but no girls my age - SUCH a pity!) - we nicknamed my parents house "grand central station" - because there was ALWAYS people over - friends or family, or both. My cousins LOVED being in our house because dinner time was always together and an event - it was always loud but there was always love. I would LOVE to have at least 2 more children - as many as 4 (if I'm lucky enough!)

Poor little tyke is sick atm - she has croup. She's been having recurring fevers. Poor darlin. Tomorrow is her end of the year school part - she wants to go soooooooooo bad. We'll see though because even if we don't send her to school, if she's ok enough later on we might let her check out the party. I hope she's ok though, it's rough seeing little tyke sick. Good thing for meds though!

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Oh great, another thing to look forward to!

Went to the Dr's last week (I think I have another abcess! - EEEK!) for a follow up on the blood work we took a couple of weeks ago.

So I'm in the all clear for the Strep - didn't think I caught anything but it's always good to make sure - I mean, I DID use standard precautions and I didn't notice anything splash up so I figured I was alright....

So what's with the title you ask?.....

I earned a trip to the immunologist....

Turns out that I'm STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLL not immune to measles, mumps (but rubella finally took) which means I got ANOTHER round of injections for that sucker - that will make round THREEEEE (ouch my arm!)

On Tuesday I have to go back to him to get the next shot for the MMR - hopefully it'll work.

And just because work wants to know (was supposed to do it when I got hired) - I'm not immune to Hep B

Here in Canada we get immunized when we're in Grade 7-8.... and we get three shots to make sure that we're good and immune.... which is supposed to last FOREVER!!!!! Ya well it seems this body doesn't LIKE immunizations and so now I get to do these shots all over again!!! All three of them!

Wanna know the kicker?! Because I'm not enrolled in the grade 7-8 time slot, I get to pay $30 PER SHOT


So now because this is the FOURTH abcess I have developed and the immunizations don't seem to hold up in my system, we need to do some investigative work which means an appt with an immunologist - which won't be until the middle of November - such a long time away.... wonder if it means that I won't be able to work because I'm not immune to a bunch of things?!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

My daughter made me cry today

I worked a day shift - oh how I hate those. Hate IS a strong word and I don't fling it around carelessly - so let me blatently clear - I HATE DAY SHIFTS!!!! Especially if it is a monday or a friday! Those are generally the busiest days - with doctors doing rounds and writing orders - before or after the weekend.... tests get done, labs are done - all of which mean that you need to check these things.... on top of makng sure that you give meds, do assessments, bathe these people.... you know, the things us nurses have to do on a daily basis coupled with all the extra shit. Plus I have to get up at the crack of dawn in order to make it into work on time - the drive is almost tripled in time it takes - to get there! Then when I'm done my shift it takes me an hour + to get back home. ERRRRGGGGHHHH! I hate days, I hate days, I hate days.....

Surprisingly though, today wasn't too bad. I caught a pretty big med issue - one of our guys who has chronic pain and has a G-tube is getting Meslon = controlled released morphine.... except that we have to OPEN the capsule thus eliminating the whole CONTROLLED RELEASE aspect.... and this guy was on 30mg! So ya, I don't understand why it took EIGHT days (twice daily!) in order for it to be caught! Thankfully we looked into it and was told by pharmacy that although it's not advised to open them, the little balls inside the capsule are encapsulated sorta on their own and so you get SOME controlled release - but certainly not the 12hrs that it's supposed to last! So the doc left him on that med and included a fentanyl patch - which is shocking because these docs here do NOT like to prescribe that damn patch! However, this guy needs it - he has pontine myelinitis - essentially his brainstem isn't working and so he's pretty obtunded and completely aphasic. So the guy just moans and moans and moans - we figure it's pain related because when we give him the PRN morphine, he quiets down - and it's not enough that we're snowing him so I guess there's pain?!

Now back to why this post it titled what it is..... hubby had to be the one to take little tyke to school today and so she was pretty bummed out that I wasn't going to be the one - and so she was uber excited when I got home. After a nap (remember, days = no sleep for me cuz I'm a night hawk and my body doesn't get sleepy til real late) she came downstairs into my room to find me on the computer and got all excited like and ran back upstairs.... then came straight back down and told me that she had a card for me. Now this isn't the first "card" that she's brought/made for me.... What was different about this one you ask?

She wrote out "happy mothers day I love you" and drew me a picture of a flower..... and signed her name

I'm getting teary just thinking about it.... It was the best mothers day present yet from her and I'll treasure it forever. Completely made me forget about my nasty day shift (that wasn't as bad as they normally are). And of course I had to call my mommy, all sobbing and tell her about what her grand daughter did for me!

Man I love that little girl!!!!

Happy mother's day to everyone and a special one to my mama - I love you!

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Exposed = tests

My leg guy - well it turns out he's positive for strep A & B - necrotizing facitis it turns out...

Off I went today to get tested for them.

I don't think I was actually exposed per se but I did clean his wounds with a saline bottle and there's always a miniscule chance that a drop or something went onto my scrubs or in my eyes or nose - but I didn't feel anything and I was careful - but I wasn't using a face mask or goggles so there's always a chance.

Hubby got all concerned that I didn't tell him about the exposure and that I was being flippant about safety. The Dr asked me why I was doing the dressing change on a guy that was known to be strep B positive without "proper" precautions. I explained that because I admitted him I had to take the dressings apart, clean them and put them back together again. I didn't know about the strep A - only the strep B and that was in his blood. I figured that using gloves would be enough - and being careful of course.

As nurses. admitting someone from the ER means that we will be exposed to things (strep, TB, MRSA, HIV etc...) without knowing such until several days afterwards. As was the case today. This is the reason why we must always be careful when we take care of our patients. We never know what we're getting into.

I have faith I'll be alright.

The best way to lose a leg

Who would wait a month when your leg become painful to touch and you start developing wounds and edema so bad that you CUT IT OPEN!!!!!  Ya only a man could!!! This would be the best way to lose a limb!

Dr was questioning whether it was necrotizing facitis - google necrotic leg and see what you come up with! It ain't pretty!!!!! But let me tell you, neither was this leg!

I admitted this pt and I am required to do my documentation - so I take apart the dressing so that I can accurately document. Well this one wound that he had tunneled so badly I pulled like 3 ft (not kidding either) out of that wound. It was all kinds of nasty. I'm VERY surprised that it didn't smell though. I totally expected it to. And the amount of wounds that were on the leg I expected the ciruculation to be dying as well. Another surprise. I couldn't feel his pedal pulse but his toes had good color, movement and sensation. Surprising as hell. What would surprise me is if he actually got to keep this leg. We shall see.

This is the sort of thing I miss about being on a more acute unit. You just don't see these kinds of things. It might have made for a crazy shift but it was certainly interesting!

Friday, May 2, 2014

So close but no cigar

Did my final exam for my mental health course

I got 86% - yay for me! This is my weakest subject area so I'm proud of that number. I studied for lots of days to get that amount...

Unfortunately it wasn't high enough for me to get my A-.... I missed that by TWO questions! A bloody 4% overall. That's the part that doesn't sit well with me.

For the other tests that we've had the teacher has come back and corrected marks because of questions so I'm REALLY REALLY hoping that he'll do the same thing.

But for now, this is me....