Spare the little ones

 Recently had a CPS case (Child Protective Service) where I was brought a little one with suspected child abuse.

And the signs of abuse were so unbelievably obvious, there was no mistaking that this precious little person was abused. 

Makes me angry because while I know what it feels like to be a young mom and to be in an abusive relationship and to be basically in charge of the care of a little one and not really know how to care for a little one and having points in time where I was angry at my little one.

But never once did I take that out on my little one. Whenever I got to that point, little one would go into their crib so that I could take a breather. Even if that means that little one would be screaming their head off. 

You can't take care of a little one if you aren't taking care of yourself first..... but that doesn't mean that you forget that you're the sole person who is responsible for the care of the person who can't live without you.

I hope I don't have to take care of any more CPS cases. It just makes me so sad for the little ones and so angry at the people who swear they love this little one.

Backstabbers and two faced

 Started the new job. I think I've done about one week of orientation and I get called into the manager's office (my union rep is present as well). 

None of the complaints had to do with my ability to be a nurse. It was all two people in particular and their complaints against me, including the fact that my husband googled someone and they didn't like that!

Actually, I was told that I breached confidentiality - I was like, OH HELL NO! Then they told me that it was the confidentiality of my coworker and I scoffed. I couldn't believe that they were saying that because I found information about my coworker that that somehow meant that I broke confidentiality.

Since when is it against confidentiality to not be able to find info into your coworkers if you so choose?!

Then I was told that I "sit too much" - I told them to pull the charts from the shifts and see how many of them had my writing on it and then tell me how much I was sitting if I was doing all the triaging and work?! Plus cleaning beds afterwards. Such bullshit!

And because this is a new workplace, I'm still in the midst on learning the policies and procedures, the ins and outs and what stuff I need in order to do my job.... I get shown a tool once or twice and am expected to use it and remember to use it.... instead of asking my preceptor about things.... the tool had to do with medications and because I asked my coworker about a medication and how they mix it here, it was used against me in the meeting. That I was shown that tool and should have just used that.... that I wasn't "receptive to learning from others"..... all because I forgot about the damn tool!

Needless to say I feel very  much once bitten twice shy.

The next shift I worked after that I worked with a couple of nurses who were very different and advised me that there are certain people within the department that I should be "careful" around and avoid if possible. Hopefully I can. Otherwise, I'll be moving to travel nursing and then I'll end up being separated from family again.... something I would prefer to avoid at this time.