Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Another year down a new one about to begin

I paid for another year of registration. Makes you look back over this last year. I can't believe I've been MIA for 6 months - half of the goddamn year paid for that I didn't get to utilize. STUPID health issues. Grrrr it makes me so angry. It's put me into such a bad place financially. I hate fighting with hubby about money. We see finances so differently. I mainly avoid. I hate conflict. I'm not very good at it - hubby seems to think that I enjoy fighting. NOT so much!!! I try to avoid it at all costs - especially with hubby. His mom not so much, if she's going to pick a fight with  me I'm not about to back down. The only time I do is at hubby's behest.

I  tried calling Oc health today - no response. I don't understand what's taking so bloody long. It really isn't a hard issue or one that needs so many meetings. I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK!!!! I really really don't understand why they're making it so hard for someone to go back to work who wants to actually work. They're making me prove over and over that I'm capable of it yet not letting me get back to it once I do. These stupid hoops are rediculous!

The only good thing about me being off was being off over the holidays and being to go see my family and hang with them. I looooooooved seeing my son. He was actually decently behaved this time and only really tested me once. I "made" him take his ADHD medication one day - told him I couldn't handle his "ADHD attitude" and his "teenager attitude" at the same time and that if I could medicate the teenager one I would but since there isn't a med that can tame that ugly beast he had to put up with medicating the one that could be. He took his med and 45 minutes later everything was right in the world once more!

We got in lots of family time. I even got to see him play 2 hockey games. He got his first "gordy howe hat trick" - a goal, an assist and a penalty. I was very proud of him (he didn't really deserve the penalty but meh I'm not about to become a hockey mom because of it). They won that game 9:2.... it was an AWESOME game. The second game he didn't get anything but damn did he play well. Their team won that game as well... 5:2 - And my dad, brother, SIL and little & big nephews were there so it was a blessed game and we all enjoyed ourself thoroughly.

I got to see my bestie - wish I could have a bit more but her darling 9 wk old darling wouldn't quite allow us to. Such a pity, I love that gal and her darling bitty to bits. I felt so bad for bestie when her darling wouldn't settle, it's rough when the person you love suffers and there isn't anything you can do to help. I hate feeling helpless and watching my bestie feel helpless as well. It's rough.

I always love going home. There's something to be said about going to your childhood home and being able to relish all the good memories. To spend a night in your "old bedroom". But there's something also to be said about coming back home and sleeping in your own bed. I enjoyed my time there but I'm glad to be back here. Going up there was the scariest drive in the 4.5 yrs I've been living in the south. I went when the ice storm came through and it made for some seriously dangerous driving. I never want to do it again. Man I hope I never experience that again. Honestly, if a situation like that ever happens again, I'll fly instead. Oh goodness I can't wait to move to a place like Texas or somewhere similar when the temps are so much warmer than freezing this time of year!!! Where I could be going swimming in my backyard pool instead of skating on it!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Coming home & Honor society

Home sweet home - nothing like it. Being able to hug your mama and be in your childhood home. It's awesome. The little tyke was AMAZED with the christmas tree (we haven't had one for two years) and especially with all the presents around it. Makes my heart swell. THIS is what I want for Eid. I just wish I wasn't the only one or that I had to be the only one trying to pull it all together.

The drive here was HORRENDOUS! It was the scariest drive in the 4 1/2 years that I've lived away from home and driving here during the holidays. It was slushy and yucky for about 2 hrs and I white knuckled through it. I also prayed the ENTIRE 2 hours! Not kidding either. There was several times that I thought I was going to crash. Only by the mercy and grace of God almighty did I make here safe and alive.

Hubby didn't come with. He's too new at the new job and wasn't able to get any time off and so it made more sense for me to come by myself. I miss him, don't miss the arguing over Christmas though.

He called me this morning. Unusual for him, he usually waits until a bit later. WHY did he call???

I was formally invited into the honor society by my university (don't know exactly which one yet because I didn't read the mail, he did and didn't say) - HUGE honor considering they don't invite you unless your GPA is high enough - and mine's 3.8 YAAAAY. He's proud of me (so he said) and frankly so am I.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Semi official

Not going back to work until at least the new year. Was told by Oc health today that a meeting needs to occur between my union, my manager, oc health and I before I can go back. And since the holidays are here the timinng is against me. Crappy thing is is that we're poor ATM and really needed the money of me starting back to work.

The only good part that came of this all is that I get to leave tomorrow to go home. I'm excited about it. Little tyke is OVERLY excited. She wants to go today but we have to wait until tomorrow when a vehicle is available.

Awesome about leaving tomorrow is that I'll be there for Saturday when mama is getting together with all her friends and having their christmas party - and these girls are SOOOOO much fun! Several of them are my "aunts" because I've known them since I was such a small child. I love these gals.

Hubby isn't going with me - he's only just started his new job so it's not like he has any vacation time accrued to be able to come with me. It's ok he's not coming, he'd be grumpy about celebrating the holiday anyway and who needs a grumpy goose around?!

A lot of good that did me

I had my "meeting" with the powers that "be" - not that it got my anywhere. Oc health agreed to the fri,sat,sun but not the evenings or nights. Said that days can be just like evenings or nights. I tend to disagree but when my union rep didn't bother to stand up for me, I didn't really have a leg to stand on. So now I need to get my Dr to write restrictions indicating that I can have increased rest periods. But the thing about this is that I won't get paid for these "rest periods" and what if I don't need them, how are they going to know I took them? I hate day shifts, and of course the guy who runs Oc health says that he would prefer to have me work days so that they can "overlook" me - well I'd be working weekends and so it's not like all the management ppl would be around so what does it matter?! Doesn't sound logical to me! Why so much politics, just so that I can go to work?! Do what I was trained and registered to do?!

I had the meeting early Tues morning and haven't heard back when my first day would be. I'm going to call in the AM because if I am not going to start this weekend, I would rather spend the time heading north to spend Christmas with my family. Oh how I want to go home. I miss my friend and family. I want to see my mum. I know that we don't always see eye to eye but she's my mum and I feel comfortable when I'm in my family home, having family dinners with plenty of sharing. And my mom decorates for Christmas so wonderfully - Oh the sights. It makes me smile and makes me sad at the same time. I miss the sights. I dislike that I can't celebrate something that I celebrated since I was born. In this family they believe that anything of another religion is terrible and therefore shouldn't be celebrated. More specifically that celebrating one prophets birth/death more so than another is blasphemy. But Christmas is not religious in my family. It's about spending time together, giving gifts and enjoying the sights when they open them. It's a day where everyone is happy. It's something that I love, I enjoy it and I miss it terribly.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

A big week coming

This week is kinda big in my life. This week I have a meeting with the surgeon who will determine if I get to go back to work and if I get to have the weekend shifts that I feel I need.

Then I have a meeting with Oc health, my manager and my union rep to determine WHEN I can go back to work. Goodness I hope it's soon!

These two things will determine WHEN I get to go home for Christmas - one things that this family will NOT let me celebrate here - so I REALLY REALLY want to go home. Plus my two brothers are shit heads and tend to spend more time with their wife's side of the family and therefore if if I didn't go home, then my mama would be left alone (and her hubby is a bigger shit head and doesn't know how to celebrate properly and always inevitably screws up the celebration) so there's just me to help her celebrate christmas.

Plus little tyke LOVES all the lights of christmas and keeps enquiring WHEN christmas is going to be. She doesn't understand why exactly we don't celebrate in this household and it's next to impossible to tell a 4 yr old and have her truely understand. So I'm happy that we get to go up to mom's house and celebrate all the awesomeness that goes along with the holidays. If only Eid was celebrated in the same manner, then maybe her and I would be excited about it as well.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Semester One down - successfully

I ended my first semester with a 3.84 GPA - holy crap does that excite me!

When I started this semester I was insanely worried about whether I would even make it through it, let alone successfully. I mean, I know that I'm intelligent but I always worry about whether it would translate enough.

I enjoyed this semester but I don't feel as though I learned very much. I thoroughly enjoy the ppl I met (though not in person) through the one course that encouraged contact.

So now that I've successfully completed this semester I get the chance to move on to the next semester. The course is mental health so this should be interesting because it's the one course that I'm not looking forward to. It's the one course that I struggle with - how do nurses go on to ask ppl "do you hear voices" "are you planning on killing yourself" "how are you planning to kill yourself" - it's just NOT in my nature. I don't enjoy that, it's beyond me. If anyone has the answer please share it!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Semester One DOWN... 7 more to go!

Did my last exam today, got 90% on it YAAAAAAAY... would have gotten 92% but I read one question wrong and realized it after I submitted it and this teacher doesn't let you go back to check over your answers so you really only get one shot. Plus her questions are EACH worth 2% - shitty IMO

Plus the way she sets up her course, you have to get 75% on your tests/quizzes (minimum) AND on your paper/clinical stuff. Then so long as you get over 75% on both then you factor them together and divide by 1/2 = your actual grade. So this can be tricky because if you fuck up a couple of times on your tests/quizzes then you are seriously screwed! Also, this program only allows you to do each course twice so you have to make sure you're careful or you're out! You can tell that this isn't necessarily easy since this class had DOUBLE the # of students as the other course I took = way harder course!!!

So me passing this course means that much more to me cuz obviously not everyone makes it through, only the strong ones.... which equals me!!!!!!

Now I get to go send off an email saying I want to register for some spring semester courses - YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Ending of my first semester - EXAM TIME!!!!!!!!!

I have til the end of this week to complete my exams. I did my first one tonight.

I got 98%!!!!!!!! WOWZERS am I excited and proud. Couldn't have done it without my husband! This exam was all about pharmacology, there was very little gray area so I wasn't too worried about it, my OTHER exam I'm a tad more worried.

I'll take my second exam tomorrow (at least that's the plan!) Wish me luck!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Finally a beacon of hope

In about October I was notified via email that the next course would be a psych course (already knew this but was reminded of it) and was told to begin the search to find a suitable placement. I believe I've said it before but it really irks me (maybe a tad more ;P) that I have to find my OWN placement as well as preceptor while the school sits back and does jack shit except do the clinical contract with the facility. Complete bullshit IMO. The old school that I was going to (for my LPN/RPN as well as my previous BSN) did this leg work for us (and was compensated IMO for this) which made life easier and certainly less stressful. This was something that I asked before committing myself to this school because I don't think it should be my responsibility to do this.

So for this semester my hubby thought to find a list of ALL the NPs and so I began calling them ALL - EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!! And was told that if I didn't find a preceptor in that two week period of time that I would have to abandon that course! So off I went asking whether they would be willing to "oversee" a basic review of assessments that I would do in front of them. Only ONE off a list of probably 30-40 ppl said yes. And OMG am I thankful to this person!!! Told her everytime I saw her! I was certainly stressed out and certainly worried that I would have to postpone starting my core nursing courses because of this stupid thing that I was told by the university to wait on until I was officially "IN" the course. It's complete bullshit IMO and I should have been advised of this.

Now getting back to October... I procrastinated on finding a suitable placement and figured that the school would do ANY of the leg work. Now it's December and I come to find that the school basically did jack shit in terms of helping me. A couple of days ago hubby wanted me to start doing the same thing as before but now focusing on calling the "key" people in the hospitals who would enable me to have a pysch rotation in the hospital. Focused on big hospitals and then I decided to broaden my search to smaller ones. Then hubby had an epiphany that it would be smart to check out the psychiatric nurses' association. I figured it couldn't hurt anything and off we went calling them. They instructed us on how to find the local chapter ppl and then we went off googling these people to see about contacting them directly to see if I could network with them to find a placement. Hell these people wouldn't be part of this association if they weren't somehow involved in psychiatry right?!

Next day I called up a couple of people and happened upon one lady who said that so long as I was allowed to do it at an out-pt clinic or in ppl's homes then she could help me. YAAAAYYYYYYYYYY OMG I was eccstatic. The relief was immense let me tell you!

Now I'm trying to convince hubby to register for next semester's courses. He doesn't seem overly keen on this idea though (not sure of the exact reasoning seeing as he told me that once I secured a placement then we would register being that we'd been in this sort of predicament already right).

So I started the paperwork with the uni to get the contract going so that in January I can start my placement hours. The good thing (though weird) is that for that course it only requires FORTY hours. Crazy low amount, very shocking to me and to the lady I spoke with. I don't really care so long as I get the hours in.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

No news is good news right? Not in my life!

Been gone for a couple days, you would think that things MIGHT have actually have gotten better right?! ya not so much. Been informed by Oc health that they don't believe what my GP has to say and is just going along with what I tell him to - though this is true, he also sees merit in what I say - it's not like I'm a layman over here I'm a god damn nurse. I wanted to tell these two to shove their shit up their ass but I know that won't get me very far. I just want to go back to work. It shouldn't be soooooooo difficult. FUCKING PEOPLE!!!!!!! Now I have to get my surgeon (who works at the same fucking hospital as these nit wits) to write the same bullshit (and he will!) as my GP cuz heaven fucking forbid they believe the doctor they asked to clarify with!!! Now I have to get someone else to do it cuz I guess my GP isn't credible enough. UGH!!!

Still haven't found my dog. Makes me want to cry every time I look out my window or see her leash. UGH

Then there's the whole bullshit with this shit hole I live in. Yesterday I was minding my own goddamn business watching the show "Mom" (HILARIOUS btw) with headphones on cuz I wouldn't want to disturb my FIL watching (more reading since the volume wasn't even on) and low and behold I laugh my ass off. Really did, true shit - fucking rolled a gut (episode 11 with the cat - OMG funny) and was told to shut up - told my FIL in no uncertain terms that I was not going to. Then another funny bit comes on and I bust a gut again this time louder. Not of course this did NOT go over well with him so he calls me a "fucking bitch" - in front of my husband as well. Ya muther F**er could kiss my ass since I wasn't doing ANYTHING to deserve this in the remotest sense. Hubby diddn't take it too kindly either and then the arguement went to Urdu.... ya not the language I understand much but I certainly understood that hubby was taking MY side and didn't take too kindly to his wife being disrespected like this. Ya we left the house.... spent the night in a motel. Hubby being laid off and me not working = not enough money to rent our own place since we won't have first & last month's rent... not for several weeks. Which means several weeks of putting up with these stupid people whom I hate more than I actually like. UGGGGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhhhh

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Things got worse - how could they have????!!!!!!!!!!

I never mentioned that we bought a dog. I've had labrador's my entire life til I married hubby. Turns out hubby likes doggies as well. So we finally decided that we would buy one.

When we were on vacation for our anniversary we were looking and had settled on one litter. So when we got back we contacted the family and made arrangements to go and buy one. When we got there there were 3 white labs and 3 black ones. Hubby and I knew that we wanted a girl, one that we'd hope would be calm and gentle. Turned out all the black ones were boys and all the white ones were girls.

Hubby let me ultimately pick one. There was one little puppy who crawled up into my lap and cuddled into me. Seemed a bit calmer than the rest. It was instant love. And we haven't looked back since.

Being that we are Muslim, the Quran says that we shouldn't own dogs because they are "unclean" (there's reasons but I don't want to get into that though) and so when we touch them we have to clean our hands and if the doggie licks us then that part of us becomes unclean. And even more important is that dogs cannot come into the house because when they do then the angels leave. Angels are UBER important so dogs are banned to the outdoors.

Now hubby and I spent LOTS of money to buy a nice big and spacious doggy house and made sure that we hung out with her regularly - changed her water every 6ish hours and fed her two-three times per day (didn't want to make her fat). Unfortunately the way our yard is - it backs onto the main road and for some STUPID reason the city considers it our FRONT yard and so we aren't allowed to build a wood fence. Well we did thinking that the city would just ignore it (there's other ppl on the street that have this) and we have stupid neighbors who finked on us and we were told to tear it down or face a massive fine. The shitty result of this is that every tom, dick and harry who passed by would see our beloved dog outside (because for whatever reason she would rather hang out under the stars (she would even drag our her blankets and bedding to be out under the stars) - well this did NOT sit well with people and they would stop us to enquire why our dog was outside all the time - why wouldn't we take her inside - a whack of bullshit that we dealt with patiently. Heck we even had someone put a "note" on our door to tell us that they would BUY or TAKE our dog if we couldn't care for her properly.

Fast forward to Tues and I got little tyke ready for school and when I got back to the house I fed the doggy. Then hubby decided he was ready to wake up and up to the couch he went. Well at about 11:00 am he looked into the yard and couldn't see the doggy. He went outside to find that she wasn't there and that "SOMEONE" had taken our dog. yes - STOLEN OUR FUCKING DOG!!!!!!!!!

She's ALWAYS on a lead (she's a bit of a houddini) and we had this ledge about thigh high that we had barricaded and she "couldn't" get to it. Our back yard is fully fenced and the gate is locked (and still was) with a word lock.

What we "think" happened is that some person got into the yard and went to the barricaded area and took down the barricade and somehow coaxed our doggy to that area - untied her lead and took her.

I just want my doggy back!

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Life just keeps getting crappier - WTH???!!!

Still haven't heard back from work about WHEN I get to actually go back.

Then today got his pink slip and told that the company he works for "doesn't have enough work" and since there's no union, they just get to choose who they "let go". Hubby has the most seniority in his department so it's frustrating to say the least.

Then when we go out for a bite to eat (to try to make ourselves feel a bit better over such CRAPPY news) we get a call from home from hubby's mom telling us that she is laid off as well.

HOLY CRAP man!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now that's THREE incomes NOT coming into the house. I'm wondering whether the "recession" is hitting us or whether it's just dumb luck. Either way it stinks and It's hard not to be frustrated, and depressed.

Trying to figure out whether I should laugh or cry

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Modified duties to return to work

So I gave my oc-health paperwork that I filled out and my physician signed off of to the hospital. Turns out they're suspicious of it. UGH, it never ends. Some other physician has to check out the paperwork and determine if my physician has to write a more "official" letter to explain why I need restricted shifts. In the paperwork it's indicated that I can work fri, sat, sun - evenings or nights. They don't understand why this is important - even after I explained to them that I would be taking narcotics mon-thurs since I get my seton tightened on mondays - and I can't work when I have been taking narcotics. Pretty sure my patients wouldn't want me as their nurse who's flying high (not exactly true) plus there's the thing of malpractice. Ya wouldn't want something to happen when I'm on those puppies! Plus once I have my seton tightened I'm in crazy amounts of pain and it's difficult to sit or walk - heightens the pain for sure.

So ya, don't know what I'm going to do. All I want to do now that I'm feeling better is go back to work. Unemployments/short term disability is done and so I need some money rolling in!!! Plus I have to pay for next semester's tuitio in a matter of weeks. Kinda hard to do with no money!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Insomnia's a bitch

UGH - I hate not being able to sleep. I wish I could be working (missed the cut off date to start by about 2 days thanks to hubby forgetting to bring my information to work to scan & email it for me) now I have to wait until next weekend to hopefully start working. At least if I was able to work, I might actually be getting paid for being awake. Right now I'm just frustrated!

I suppose I could have done some school work... there's certainly enough of it left remaining. The phys assessment DVD has been received by my teacher - sooooo happy for that one. There was a BIG BIG chance of it going MIA. Would NOT have been impressed if that happened. Though with my luck it wouldn't surprise me.

I've been reading blogs, and trying to find other blogs to read (medically related mostly) and it's not necessarily the easiest. I want to find blogs where the writers actually still write. A LOT of blogs that I've found have been where the writer has just stopped writing - no explanation provided. Poof just gone. Irritating to say the least. And even when you find blogs that make the list of ppl who talk about blogs - same thing, a lot of inactive writers. Anyone know of active bloggers?

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Finally I get the word

I've been told I can go back to work!!!!!!! FINALLY!!! It's been almost 5 months since all this health stuff started and I FINALLY feel ready enough to go back to work.

I met with my physician yesterday and got him to fill out the paperwork to tell my company that I can go back to work - although with restrictions. I can only work on the weekends. The reason for that is that every monday or other monday the surgeon will tighten the seton and considering it's quite painful and it's too difficult to do the walking and sitting that my job requires.

When I went to my physician and updated him (haven't seen him for almost 3 weeks - since before the new abcess) he was like "wow alot has happened". He was NOT psyched to hear I wasn't on antibiotics because everytime I'm not on one, something new happens - an infection in the fistula track, a new abcess - it's always something.

He also asked me when I last had a scope done - many years ago - but back then I had like 5 of them and they never found anything so I wouldn't expect them to find something now. Especially because I'm not having the GI issues I had back then. I'm not sure I would want to go for a needless scope that isn't going to find anything. Why put myself through that kind of pain for nothing?!

I also talked to him about seeing a immunologist to maybe start the process into finding out why my immune system sucks. He said that he doesn't want to do anything until I'm fully healed. He figures that no specialist woud want to touch me when I'm in the care of the surgeon and having medical needs going on at the moment. So we wait on the immunologist - though I'm not sure that that's a smart idea because I know that I'm going to wait in order to see this person - you ALWAYS end up waiting so why not wait while I'm healing?!

On the school front - tomorrow I have to do this physical assessment DVD - and while it sounds easy isn't.... somehow I have to find a tuning fork, otoscope and reflex hammer.... do YOU know any NURSE who has these things in their possession?!!! I certainly don't!!! My physician was able to lend me the reflex hammer but he only has wall mounted otoscopes so that's a no go. I don't knwo what I'm going to do!!! ERG Well the show does go on, I guess I'll have to improvise!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

My nursing lab

This is the program that we use in school for one of the courses that I have to "read" for pharmacology. I don't have a problem reading the information but I don't find that the information is being adequately tested. When doing the tests I don't always find that the answers are in the text. You almost need to infer. I don't think that that's appropriate. It really IS supposed to come from that text.

Seems like my grades go from really good (90's) to not so good (60's) on these damn tests. ERG!!!! Goddamn I hate medications! There's so bloody many of them to remember everything about them.

Guess I have to keep plugging away

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Almost finished this term

4:30 am and I'm just contemplating going to sleep. Seems I do most of my work at night. I prefer it this way, no one in the house awake to bother me (interrupt or such) and so I believe I've finished one of my requirements for next week for one of my courses.

I have a couple of more weeks left in this term. Holy smokes has it gone quickly! I've done fabulously (so far) in the one course - mainly pharm with a bit of "other" stuff thrown in (kinda hard to articulate just what but it involves discussion boards). I've gotten excellent marks but the feedback kinda stinks. It doesn't really leave me with much to go on, good or bad. There's no critique, just marking. This is not something I'm used to, when I was in the BSN program previously, I got a LOT of feedback on my papers and assignments. It helped me get better with my writing and such but I'm just not getting it this time around. Is that a good sign or not I have NOOOOO idea. I hope it's a good one!

My other course has the clinical component and the theory part but they are separate entities. In order to pass the course you must pass both. But let me tell you, this teacher does NOT make it easy! So far I've been above the 75% critical point except for one but let me tell you, holy crap did I shit my pants when I didn't get that mark. There's only so many quizzes and such to bring your mark above 75% and when you don't hit that mark you really start to worry!

I wish I knew where I was in relation to the rest of the group. I always feel better when I know where I am in relation to others. Am I above, just at or below others? No idea in this instance. Causes me more worrying to be honest.

My ADHD is getting the better of me these days. Hubby has noticed it as well. I'm trying to be better at being motivated but I just feel sapped. I don't know if it's because of what's been going on with me health-wise or something else but I wish I could just nip it in the butt! I have a LOT of shit that needs to get done pronto and procrastinating is NOT helping matters!

Somehow I have to find an ottoscope and a tuning fork - any ideas?! It's not like I know of anyone who owns these things and has them in a drawer for handy moments. I suppose I will have to approach my physician to see if he'll let me borrow. Ya we'll see how well that goes! I need it in order to do assessment DVD worth a MAJOR portion of marks in my one course. WISH ME LUCK!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Boy did I enjoy myself

When I was pregnant I just KNEW that I was pregnant with a DD - and I was eccstatic. I've always dreamed of having one, being able to do her hair, dress her up and enjoy all the "girly" things that come along with having a daughter. Now while I got the daughter, I didn't necessarily get all the "daughter" to go along with the daughter. I got a little girl who LOVES to dress up and put on dresses but she LOVES short hair. Something that's frustrating to me. I want to be able to do braids and pony's and she just won't let me - ugh.

Halloween was fun this year though because she got so involved in the matter. We picked out her costume - a fairy. And she said the funniest thing... "I'm going to flap my wings and fly to every house so that I can get candy" - oh my goodness she has such an imagination! THIS is one of the main reasons why I want to be a nurse in a paeds ward - the things that come out of their mouths!

I'll leave you with a pic of the little tyke

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween everyone

Oooooo I love halloween. Especially now that I have children. I know why my mom loved this holiday as well. Children get sooooo excited about it. Here's a pic just to prove it - my little tyke digging into a pint sized pumpkin - small enough for her.

I thought (and so did hubby for that matter) that she wouldn't enjoy the experience. Mostly because she is ALLL girl that one! She hate slimy things (normally) but when she found out that tonight was the night we were carving the pumpkins, she was in her glory and she certainly dived right in. I couldn't get the "lid" off fast enough before she was diving in up to her elbows - LITERALLY! With a smile and determination plastered on her face. I hope that the picture depicted it well enough. I was certainly in my glory watching. I loved every second of it.

Of course I roasted off the seeds (had WAAAAY more than I expected) but when she woke up tonight in the middle of the night and I offered her one she said that she "hated" pumpkin seeds and would NOT try one for the life of me. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

Speaking of tomorrow.... Tomorrow night she goes out as a fairy and we've been leading up to it for the last month or so. Every time she brings up the subject she talks about how she's going to "fly to every house and flap my wings really hard". OMG bust a gut!

Tonight I also let her choose the face that I would cut into the pumpkin. She wanted the vampire one - but it's not good enough if it isn't with a bit of blood - well the kids version anyways - I let her paint the teeth and I added the drops. She LOVED it. At least she was able to (mostly) keep within the lines!

For all those out there - have fun and happy halloween!!!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Back to square one

Starting back at square one has really sucked. I finally started feeling like I was getting healed.

The other day when I went to the hospital I stopped by my unit to see if any of the people I like were working (only one was and she didn't seem keen to chit chat) and I really felt depressed that it was taking so long to get back at the helm.

It was funny that when I was leaving there was the usual "neurology howl" coming from one of the rooms. Made me nostalgic of what I had before. Funny that things like that can make you nostalgic.

I'm off til the 15th nov - hopefully I will be healed enough to start back, even if it isn't full shifts at that time.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Not just an ordinary infection

So a week's worth of pain, once I got back home the next day I had an appointment with my surgeon.

Turns out I have a NEW abcess. UGH! When I knew that I was right, I started crying. I was FINALLY starting to heal (somewhat anyways) or at least experiencing less pain, I go two steps backwards.

I knew from talking to the surgeon's receptionist that he wasn't back in his clinic for almost a month and so I asked when he was on-call again at the hospital. Figured that if I had to have an incision & drainage (I&D) that I would prefer to have MY surgeon do it. Turns out he was on-call that very same day.

I just had to head to the hospital while he was on-call. Then once there I had to wait another 2 1/2 hours for him to show up.

He was able to do the procedure and while he tried to be more empathetic and caring - I requested morphine so he gave me 4mg SC of it. And he tried to make sure I was good and frozen. Ya it didn't help much. Holy hell did it hurt!!! Then he gave me another 4mg of the morphine post procedure considering I was crying it hurt so much.

Now two days out, the surgeon actually called me this morning to ask how I was doing!!! How sweet eh?! I guess I must have made a bit of an impression. LOL

I have to see him again Monday for a follow-up. I also have to have home-care though in a clinic to pack the wound. Hurt the last time so I don't expect anything different this time around.

Surgeon says he won't know whether a fistula formed for another week or two. My goodness I hope and pray I didn't.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

ANOTHER infection???!!!

The day we were supposed to leave my pain started to increase - always indicative of an infection. The tract felt like it was getting more and more swollen so i went to my family doctor's walk-in and saw the Dr there. She agress, another infection rearing it's ugly head.

Now I'm on Keflex - this makes my SIXTH antibiotic in less than 4 months. UGH when will this end??!!

I'm on vacation - I shouldn't have to deal with this crap. I however, am starting to wonder whether it IS the tract or whether I've developed another fistula because what I'm feeling is a hard lump at the top - but when I press on it (not hard cuz it hurts MASSIVELY) there's no discharge. So I'm at a loss. Hubby says to wait and try to let the antibiotic work and not head off to the ER here. Ya we'll see.

Anyone have any suggestions??? \the sitz baths aren't doign anything - certainly aren't helping with pain or burning or itching. Clearly they aren't helping with the infection. The keflex I've been taking now for 24 hrs - and that hasn't done anything yet. I just want the pain to stop. Ibuprofen isn't really helping. I don't want to be put back on the morphine if I can help it.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Tomorrow's a busy day

Tomorrow is Eid al-Adha - a muslim celebration about the fact that Abraham was willing to sacrafice his son because God asked. Then there's the required prayers, which when it's warm it's expected to do it outdoors. Not so sure tomorrow it will be. And the ritual from eons is that you sacrifice an animal just like Abraham did instead of sacrificing his own son and so we celebrate it by getting together as a family and having a huge dinner. It's the day after Hajj - where MANY muslims flock to Saudi Arabia to pray at the holy site. So tomorrow we pray and we eat. Should be lots of fun, it usually is.

Also tomorrow after the family dinner and hubby is done at school then we're heading to my hometown. My bestie just gave birth yesterday to a little girl yesterday, so I can't wait to go there and meet the little princess. Plus my nephew's birthday is on Thurs so I can't wait to celebrate his first birthday. Oh I wish we were able to have more babies right now - but I have to wait until my BSN is complete. Working hard on getting that accomplished.

speaking of school - I'm done my placement and I'm about half way through my semester - and I'm averaging 90+%. I am really trying to keep that up. I think I should study more but the ADHD rears its head and I lose my motivation. More difficult than I can explain.

Either way, can't wait to get to my hometown and be around all my family and my friends.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Fever seizures

Had placement today, it was my last - at least I think so. I've enjoyed it and today was no different.

My preceptor seemed to have enough trust in me to attend to one of the physicals today, and I nailed it.

We saw a little one who had bilateral ear infections - boy did they look painful!!! OUCHIE

Then we had a dad who brought his 5 month-ish daughter in for a check up cause his wife thought her cold had gone into her chest and was sounding congested - NP said nope but dad had also brought his approx. 2 yr old. And boy did HE look sick!!! He certainly looked MUCH worse than the one he came in for in the first place!

Dad indicated that kiddo had been fighting this "thing" for almost 3 weeks - had gone to an urgent care and the docs there had prescribed amoxicillin - which he had just recently finished. His nose was draining but not purulent - it was clear. When the NP touched him though, immediately she asked for a temp and it turned out that he had spiked one - 102.4 F (39.1 celcius) - and his poor eyes just told u everything about how sick he felt. We went out to get him tylenol and I went back in to give it to him - and take it he did. Then went back out. The NP was unsure what she was going to do plan wise because aside from the temp, his sinuses didn't look infected, no nasal drip indicating infection, chest clear - so what to do? And while we were discussing this amongest ourselves, the dad brought the kiddo out to the main area and exclaimed "he's having a seizure".

Sure enough, tonic clonic seizure (really rigid then the convulsions - and loss of consciousness - and his eyes rolled back in his head)- NP instructs the dad to put him down on the ground and she ensured that he didn't aspirate - tells the clerk to call 911 and stayed with him. Unfortunately there was no suction machine so I grabbed a kleenex so that she could wipe out his mouth - the seizure lasted approx. 2 minutes. When he started to have secretions in his mouth she turned him on his side and wiped his mouth again. Thankfully no vomitting, which meant that he kept down the tylenol. He also lost control of his bowels during this time. But that was the least of our concerns!

Once the fire fighters arrived, he had just completed the seizure and was in the "post ictal" phase of the seizure which is where they are no longer seizing but have not regained consciousness. Or if they do regain it, it may only be for a second. Our little guy went from the tonic clonic to post ictal then back to tonic clonic. Before he started to seize again the NP was able to get him to respond and open his eyes and his pupils were equal and reactive (good sign) - then he started to seize again, but it didn't last long before he went back to the post ictal phase. The guys arrived and put oxygen on him (didn't realize that there was oxygen in the office - don't know where anything is pretty much in that office!) and a pulse ox on him. His oxygen saturation was 94% without the oxygen and with blow-by oxygen it went to 100%. I tried to put the oxygen mask on him but he swiped that away so I just held it next to his face. You just felt for the little guy and his daddy who was standing near by just staring and trying to get a hold of his wife who was at work.

I got his little girl's stuff all together and got her in her car seat and brought her to him. Then once the paramedics showed up, they took the little one and away they all went with dad and baby in tow.

Wasn't expecting that for the last day of clinical - tho that's sorta how one of my last days of clinical placements went when I was doing placement on my unit at my hospital - so maybe it's a good omen for me???

Friday, October 4, 2013

Mondays are for suckers

Don't think I've ever mentioned but I HATE MONDAYS, even worse still are MONDAY DAY SHIFTS!

I'm not working but wanted to post a draft that had sat without posting... the reason why I hate mondays...

Mondays is like you get crapped on. It's the beginning of the week so EVERY doctor is in, and of course writing orders because things happen over the weekend and pt's get ignored over the weekend. Also, everyone who is due for tests get them then, because tests usually don't get done over the weekend. Also, EVERYONE gets bloodwork done on mondays, very rare for someone NOT to have blood work done on mondays.

So of course you, as the nurse, are responsible for checking bloodwork and ensuring that the Dr knows the results which generally = more orders to try and correct the weird blood work values. And charts are checked for said orders and ensuring that any NOW or STAT orders are done in a VERY timely manner. And ensuring that pt's are washed and ready to go for their test. On and as if that isn't enough, you always have discharges on this day because doctors wait until the weekend is done to discharge.

I haaaaaaaaaate monday shifts, ESPECIALLY monday DAY shifts

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Nursing care plans (NCPs)

We have one due this coming week. We were given a case study where it's evident the pt is constipated, but the pt also has fluid vol deficit. However, there isn't enough data other than the fact that the pt has only consumed 1000mL in the last 48 hrs. No lab values, no assessment values. I figure that considering I can't really go with the fluid vol deficit since I only have one factor, might be hard to truely prove my point about why fluid vol deficit is more important than the fact that this person hasn't had a BM in 5 days (in the case study anyways).

I like doing NCPs, I find them interesting and I find that I'm always learning something from them that I can always put into praxis. My one book by Ackley & Ladwig provides truely evidence based interventions - provides direct references to the studies in fact. Supposedly I'm the only one who actually likes them - LOL - I wish they didn't take so long though.

We have discussion boards weekly about what we're doing for the week. It really surprises me the different levels that all these nurses are at when attempting their BSN. I talked to hubby about this and he pointed out that possibly the reason it seems so easy for me is that I've done so much of my BSN already. I hadn't thought of that though. I wonder how much that plays into me finding it relatively easy. I always feel like I'm just bull shitting when I do the assignments. The times that it's truely real to me are when I'm doing the quizzes and tests - sometimes it's good and a couple times not so good (though not failing bad just not as good as I want it to be). I'm REALLY hoping that I do good enough this semester to apply for scholarships. Though I'm not so sure that I would be selected considering I'm a Canadian going to an American school. We'll see though. I hope the marks that I'm getting right now hold up.

Monday, September 30, 2013

When will I get back to work???

That's the $1 000 000 000 question!

Had my follow-up with the surgeon today. Finally. I SHOULD have gone to him 2 weeks after surgery (2 weeks ago) but I didn't call his office right away. I was angry that the anesthesiologist screwed up my throat and the fact that the surgeon didn't call my hubby to update him after surgery or talk to me after the surgery. Good thing he apologized today for that (about his part anyways) and tried to answer questions about my throat.

I told him why I waited so long - about the infection - and that I was in major pain and I wasn't about to go to him and have him prodding around my bum when it hurts so much. Then he asked me why I didn't call him - well I did, I even told his secretary about the fact that I was having complications and she wouldn't give me an earlier appointment than today (he didn't address that) then asked me why I didn't go to the ER and have him paged!!! YA RIGHT!!!!

What surgeon do YOU know who wants to me PAGED when there are NOT on call???!!! I don't know a single one.

Either way, surgeon said that I'm off work til Nov 1st and more than likely another month after that but after Nov 1st he wants to take it week by week. He knows that I'm a nurse and considering walking exacerbates the pain, he figures it would be too difficult to go back. So I'm off for a bit longer.

The up side of this is that I can focus on my school work and make sure I get the best grades I can. Unfortunately it means no paycheck.

He wants to see me weekly to start tightening the seton and told me to pre medicate myself because it WILL hurt.... damn that's going to suck!!!

On a happy note - I just got back my pediatric assessment paper back and I got 99% - missed it by 0.5 of a mark because I forgot the birthdate - UGH! Stupid mistake. So far I'm 87% for one course and 93% for the other.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Call me confused

Got the rough draft of one of my APA papers (have I mentioned how much I HATE APA???) but made sure that I did my paper VERY specific to APA. So much so that the comments that my teacher tells me that I don't have to do it so specific - WHAT???!!! I was told not to reference within a reference (although it's supposed to be that way).

Then when I'm FINALLY able to see the paper and check out the comments made on the paper, they don't even reference ANY of the comments she made separately from the comments on the paper. Ya, call me confused on the entire matter!

So ya, I have very little that I have to change on my paper - YAY, less work that I have to do. Though there's certainly more to be done.

Specifically I have a care plan that has to be done, I'll post more about this in another post.

Sunday, September 22, 2013


I know the title isn't an actual word but I went to the Dr today and found out that I have THREE infections going on down there - no wonder I'm in so much pain!!!!

I took the dilaudid today because I was almost in tears - I haven't made it to fill my morphine script because my BIL hit two people and wrecked the extra car and hubby's working til 8pm this weekend. Ya not sure that was the best cuz I ended up being sooooooooo incredibly nauseous even with maxeran on board that I had to go have a nap for 3 hours. UGH!

Now I'm on two different antibiotics and hopefully I'll start to feel better in a couple of days - I sure hope so anyways!!!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Trying to catch up

Being behind in school work has really stressed me out. This week I have a med test due by sunday, a SOAP note - minus the AP - so it just includes the subjective and objective aspects of an assessment. I also have an APA paper due that I'm not QUITE sure what I should be writing. I understand that the prof is just trying to ensure that we have APA under control and that we understand it but I just don't know what I should be writing. Therefore I'm slightly bullshitting and hoping that I hit the bullseye.

I got one of my papers back - one of the ones due the weekend of my surgery - the prof assistant only deducted 1.5 marks and if she hadn't, I would have gotten perfect. YAY!!!!!!!!! Hoping this next assignment - that I have finished and due sunday - that I get perfect for that one. It wasn't as indepth as the other one but it's certainly long enough - 20+ pages of questions that I have to ask a mother about her child's development. I used hubby's cousin whom I have know for over 5 yrs and I knew most of the answers so I just had to verify alot of the information.

I have pharmacology this semester as well - I'm pretty behind on that course. Trying my best to catch up. Alot of reading for that course and subsequent testing of the information. Good thing is is that I have to dispense quite a bit of meds and a variety at that at work and so it's not to bad to "learn" it.

Now to get back to this stupid paper...

Oh and the Doc called me today, wants to see me tomorrow to discuss the results of the swab that he took on Tues - I'm sure that I'll be started on antibiotics tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I may be behind in school work but damn am I getting good grades

Since I had the surgery it has put me MAJORLY behind for school work. I've been TRYING to keep up, but damn do these teachers load the work and readings for each week.

I had been having major pain and irritation to the site - not sure how normal this is. As of yesterday the discharge has turned purulent and smelly. Went to my GP and he swabbed the area and sent it off for testing. I should know more Thurs. He didn't want to put me on anymore antibiotics since I've been on quite a bit lately. All good in my book since we are at least doing testing.

Because of the pain I was prescribed Dilaudid - I'm allergic to codeine, demerol and percocet - throat swells so ya, not having any of them. The unfortunate side effect is that I got MAJORLY dizzy from it. THEN I was getting nauseous from it (and gravol or maxeran weren't helping) and subsequently vomitting for an entire day. NOT good when i'm trying to make up all this stuff. Because of the dizziness I lost 4 days - finally I just had to stop taking the pills and deal with the agony in order to get SOME work done.

Pain's still pretty bad, especially after activity. So off I went to the GP yesterday to see if I can get morphine instead. I know it makes me nauseous but at least I know that maxeran will cover it and I SHOULD be ok.

I have a follow up with the surgeon on sept. 30 - looking forward to seeing him and hearing what he has to say about this entire mess.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Cut lip AND uvula from anesthesiologist - they messed me up good!

Had surgery yesterday... Got bumped by an emergency in the AM, was scheduled for 1330 hrs and was ALMOST cancelled - only reason they didn't was because I worked at the hospital (yay for small favors). Went in for surgery at 1730hrs and woke up in recovery at 2030hrs.

My throat was killing me when I woke up. wouldn't know what they did to me until I got home and looked in the mirror... little about that later - I have pics

The surgeon didn't even stay til I woke up to give me any information about my surgery, NOR did he call my hubby (which I indicated to do)... asked the nurse what they did, was told that the surgeon did a fistulectomy. Was surprised by this because surgeon told me that he couldn't do that because it was aimed at my vagina and the muscle there was too thin to do this. I also clarified with him about this prior to going into the theatre, asked him if he saw the CT scan I had a couple of weeks back. He said that he had, and that he thought that I also had a abcess but wouldn't know for sure until he got me knocked out and could peek around. So ya, the fistulectomy information came as a surprise. Also before going under I asked him to write a script for a pain killer seeing that I'm allergic to codeine, demerol and percocet and I didn't want him to "forget" about this and give me one of these and I would up the creek without a paddle and in tremendous amounts of pain. He gave me dilaudid which was good in my books.

When I got home and looked in the mirror - wondering why my throat was killing me so much, I found this...........

Pic # 1 - uvula from yesterday - the anesthesiologist CUT my uvula and damaged the tonsillar area (mine have been removed)

Pic # 2 - uvula from today - the bottom half is DYING!!!!!! Holy crap, and I have NO idea what to do about this!!!

Pic # 3 - the anesthesiologist cut my lip as well - at first when I felt it when I came out of my anesthsia I thought maybe I bit down on it - nope, that was from the ET tube.... what the hell was the anesthesiologist doing while I was asleep - was she as well?!

To say I'm pissed is an understatement. It's frustrating that I work there and get treated like this. No wonder my hospital is getting a SUPER bad rep. UGH!!! I don't want to have to fink on these HCPs but I certainly can't stand around and expect that they get away with this. Hello people, you dropped the ball and I don't want to have to pay for it.

I went to my family doc today because the original dilaudid the surgeon gave me wasn't enough to cover my pain (from either end actually) and even when I doubled the dose myself (explained that to the family doc as well) it STILL wasn't enough.

I told my doc that I felt bad for him that I'm always coming to him to fix other dr's mistakes - when I said that he said "hmmmm" and turned back to his computer. He couldn't BELIEVE that what's happened to me (for this whole ordeal since the end of June). He asked me if the doc put me on antibiotic - nope he sure didn't. So there's another script right there (we're up to 2)

I asked him for some numbing spray for my throat (so that I can swallow and maybe eat something) but he was a bit reluctant on that one - he relented a bit and gave me a script for xylocaine jelly so that I can put it on a Q-tip and apply it to the really painful areas in my mouth/throat. (script #3)

Last night was such a horrible night for sleep that even my sleeping pills weren't covering it and so while I was at the doc's I got him to give me a refill on my sleeping pills so hopefully tonite would be better (isn't so far but meh) = script # = 5

He said he wants to see me in a couple of days, already had an appointment with him on the 10th so hopefully I'll be in a better position than what I'm in right now.

I have a big ass assignment in school due Sunday @ 2300 hrs - ya, had to ask for an extension on that one. Hopefully they grant it. I'm not in ANY position to be doing it. Too doped up on dilaudid because of all the pain, I just want to sleep all the time (my body's way of coping with pain).

Oh, and I showed the Dr my derrier and he said that there's strings there - was surprised at that, because it means that the surgeon did a seton - I had talked to him about that just before going in for the surgery and he told me that he would likely be putting one in (for the one that goes towards my vagina) but when I asked him what kind it would be - tighting or not - he said he wasn't sure until he got in there and see how much muscle involvement there was.... still don't know which one I have but I DO know that I have strings.... guess I'll find out mroe in 2 weeks when I'm expected to have a follow-up appointment with the surgeon.

Saturday, August 31, 2013

All set you bet!

Had my scope today - Doc wanted to know for sure whether I had inflammation or crohns issues going on with my colon/rectum.

Was given the green though. so we're set for next friday. I can't wait to be out of this pain and discomfort!

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Life is busy

School has started in full force. I FOUND A NP WHO WILL BE MY PRECEPTOR - THANK YOU RV!!! I can't believe that someone who doesn't know me and has never met me and has only talked to this crazy nursing student who randomly called them up would be willing to help me out. Either way, I'm eternallly grateful. Even better it that she's already sent in the paperwork AND she's been approved!!!

I caught a nasty cold - makes life a bit more difficult as the energy level has plumetted which makes doing school work & required readings tricky. I'm TRYING to keep up!

I have a cultural competence paper & test to do before sunday. I also have a teaching & learning test to do before then as well. Now the tricky bit is is that I have a scope scheduled for thurs which may take me out of commission for several days. Hopefully not any longer than that.

I did my preop stuff today. The nurse there knows what surgery I'm having and she mentioned that she didn't think that I would be back to work before the new year - holy shit batman, I can't be off work that long. I was only expecting to be off another month AT THE MOST!!!

School costs me $5,000 per SEMESTER and so I NEED to go back to work. I have school to pay for. I would rather NOT go into debt if I can help it.

I'm looking forward to getting this health stuff fixed, it hurts & is itchy and it makes walking more difficult. Not looking forward to the bowel prep though! Don't know of anyone who does. I'll know more about what the agenda is for surgery after the scope. Doc tried to call me today but don't know why - I get to find out tomorrow.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Again I'm getting screwed over

I started school this week - YAY for me. Also found out that i need to find my OWN preceptor, in a state I DON'T reside in. Well THIS should be fun! And it has to be done like yesterday. I've tried posting several places on facebook and on allnurses.com but haven't had any bites yet. I hope I hear something tomorow or else I'm gonig to have to drop this course and I REALLY don't want to have to do that!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Surgery is a sure bet and so was an ER visit

Saw the surgeon the other day - was told surgery is in the cards for me.

Upon examination he indicated that due to the fact that the fistula is anterior and goes towards my vagina, that he has to go for the seton - a piece of material that essentially cuts out the tunnel and it fills in with scar tissue - we'll see how painful THAT one is!!!

I've been generally pain free for a about 2 weeks - but I have flare ups, especially if I'm too active. Bites me in the ass unexpectadly.

Home care discharged me from their services wed, said my wound was completely healed.

Thurs was a different story. Went for BM about 2200hrs and was a bit painful (sorry if TMI) and felt like I was getting another abcess or if the previous abcess was recurring and figured that I would just contact the surgeon in the AM to see if something could be done about it. Well by about 0400hrs, my pain became a 8/10 and I was crying. Off hubby and I go to the ER where I wait FIVE hours to be seen. Ugh it was rough! I sent hubby home at about 0600hrs figuring it was going to be quite some time before I saw a surgeon. Found a couple of sheets in the ER and laid on the waiting room floor - one sheet under me (protection against all the icky things on the floor that I would rather not have thought about) and one on top cuz I was cold! Plus a pillow out of my purse and my sweater and tried to not vomit everywhere from the amount of pain that I was in.

Finally saw the physician who kept interrupting me while I was giving him the background info (had he NOT ever heard of SBAR??!!) and told him why I was there. He asked a couple of questions, did a rectal exam and said he couldn't feel anything... UGH, just like the LAST ER doc who examined me almost 2 months ago and then gave me a surgeon consult who said that I DID have an abcess. This time around though, this doc ordered a CT scan which indicated that my abcess IS heal(ing)ed but that I have TWO fistulas and that CT scans are not good enough to visualize and that I should have an MRI scan done.

Doc explained that my pain was likely due to infection of the fistula(s) and gave me a loading dose of 2g Ancef IV at 1100hrs and ordered home care for the next 5 days for the antibiotic. Well home care couldn't get arranged in time so they gave me another loading dose of 2g of Ancef at 1700hrs hoping that I would get my AM dose on time. I didn't BTW, my supplies arrived at 1700hrs TODAY and so I hung my home dose by myself. I already had my SL in as the ER left it in for this purpose and I had no idea when the nurse was supposed to be by and so I did it all myself. When the nurse DID finally come around (I believe it was around 1900hrs) I just explained that I did it myself and her services wouldn't be required again unless the site went interstitial or the 5 days was up and she had to collect her stuff.

I have to contact the surgeon on monday and find out if this changes anything. Surgery is set for Sept. 04 but he said that he wants to do a sigmoidoscopy before hand. WE'll see how that changes now that we have the CT done.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Busy busy busy!!!

Things have been busy on my side of life - my BIL is getting married in approx. 2 weeks (which I don't even want to be a part of cuz I hate him so much but I'm being made to anyways -UGH) and the family has started to pour in, shopping trips ALL OVER are being done, dinners are getting prepped & cooked and LOTS of family time is being made. Not sure how much I'll be able to post in the next two weeks but I'll try.

Ramadan is coming to a close later this week - yay for everyone who is fasting!!! Truely exciting. This year I didn't have to fast because of what's going on with my tush. I should know more about what the avenue that we take will be on Thurs when i meet with the gen. surgeon (new one). I know surgery is in the cards, it's a matter of when.

I heard back from the university - they need me to prove that my immunizations were effective when I had them, OR have another shot of the MMR - plus because on their form there's no place for DTap BOOSTER (they just put DT and left out the pertussis part) now I have to have a pertussis shot - stupid university!!! Then I have to test out of the Interpersonal Communication course in two weeks and that should cover everything and THEN they'll send my acceptance letter to me. It has been SUCH a pain in the butt to get completely enrolled into this program. I hope it's smooth sailing once I'm in!

Normally I call my mom daily or every-other day and so tonight she spoke with hubby or MIL and was upset (from their end they said she sounded upset) and so when I returned the call she indicated that she WAS upset - she was worried cuz she hadn't heard from me in about a week. Good to know that if I DO go missing or something happens to me that I'll have someone looking for me!!!! I updated her about what's been going on in my life and tried to alleviate the distress. Seems that our phone jack has been on the fritz (not realizing it) and she's tried to call several times (she said that she had tried a dozen times - not sure I believe she tried THAT many times!) but didn't think to try me on my cell. HAHAHA - mothers for ya!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Not quite done yet

Had my follow-up appointment with the surgeon last week, was told that I good in regards to the abcess but now I need surgery for the fistula. But this surgeon is now sending me to ANOTHER surgeon to have this particular surgery done.

Now I'm waiting to hear from this other surgeon to find out WHEN I might have this surgery.

The downtime is helping me finish my course reading for the interpersonal comm'n course that I'm taking and need to have completed the exam by the end of August and I still have 4 more chapters to read. Boring stuff I may add!

I heard back from my uni who told me that there's outstanding things for my admission. I have to have ANOTHER dose of MMR & Tdap - which my family doc indicated that I don't need to.

Record of my flu shot - which I don't understand why I need to provide this at this point seeing as we aren't going to have clinicals til winter semester (Jan 2014) and by that point I'll have had ANOTHER flu shot.

The outstanding course which I'm working on.

They indicated that they need my highschool transcripts - which I sent 2yrs ago - and I even have paperwork to indicate this - so I sent off an email indicating this. ERG, it had better not be lost!!!!

Friday, July 19, 2013

Yay I'm healing

Been going everyday to get my packing done.

The nurse who did it the first day (almost a week ago) indicated that it has healed a bit, which is exciting. I'm glad that it isn't taking it's time healing. Hopefully only one more week til I'm healed up.

I think starting Sat or Sun I'll be starting every OTHER day to get the dressing changed so I'm going in the right direction.

Tried to go for a walk with hubby last night, it's an understatement to say I was in pain when we returned. It seems like the more I move, the more my butt ends up borthering me. GRRRRR

Hopefully soon I'll be back to normal :)

Monday, July 15, 2013

July 25th is a SUPER important day!!!!

That day several things will happen...

1. Most important - I have a job interview for a FT L&D position - WOOT WOOT!!!!! I am SUPER UBER stoked! I just found out Thursday, so considering what's been going on with me health wise, this has taken the back seat news wise. Plz send prayers and thoughts out as this day arrives, this is where my heart is leading me to go to deliver my nursing skills & vibes. I just hope that they see that I'm the best one for the job!

2. It's the day I follow up with the surgeon and have him poke & prode (though I hope less this time around!) and see if anything more needs to be done about my derrier. I still have a couple more days of Amox-clav antibiotic, I was nauseous for the first couple of days but that seems to have eased off. I'm still in pain intermittently, highly corrolated to how much walking or sitting on my buttock I do. Night before last, when fast was done, we met up with the in-laws friends at a restaurant and I had to bow out just after eating because I felt like I was going to pass out, hot and dizzy and nauseous does NOT a good evening make!!! Thankfully hubby was right by my side and led me out and even opened my car door for me! awww how sweet (would LOVE if this happened more often!)

3. I find out when I can go back to work - whether that be modified work duties or full scope. My back has been pretty good considering I've been resting more, but I certainly notice when I try to do stuff around the house and then it starts bothering me BIG time - had to take a nap today because the pain from my back and bumm hurt too much. Took a morphine and to sleep I went, when I woke up I felt a bit better - now I'm starting to feel it again. though the morphine has worn off and I've done a bit more around the house so who knows what exactly the culprit is. Time will tell!

I had my dressing changed yesterday and today - the woman has the same name as my auntie - funny since she's the one who's an absolute bitch! This woman is a Sweetheart!!! She puts xylocaine jelly in my wound before doing the packing!!!!!!!! Let me tell you, that has made ALLLLLL the difference!!! She and I have seemed to click which is nice. Hope I get her for the rest of the time that this dressing changes have to be done. She says it looks pretty good considering. She figures that it will take about 3 wks to fully heal. Hopefully I'm a fast healer. She says that my abcess is weird because it tunnels back towards my hip and only slightly towards my rectum - which is not usually how abcesses work. It's something that I'm going to have to bring up to the surgeon when I see him next.

Well I think it's bedtime for me - ciao for now!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

I'm in so much pain!!!!!!!!

Had the follow up with the surgeon today - he did an incision & drainage - under local - HOLY SHIT DOES IT HURT!!!!!!!!!! He did the local and I STILL cried!

The first local hurt, but then he had to keep doing more and more becuase he didn't expect the abcess to be so deep - my response was "well if you thought it was that deep why didn't we do a twilight sedation or something" - he figured that it was more superficial and that abcess drainage isn't done in the OR. Which is something I wasn't getting at, that it could have been done in the ER where twilight sedation IS available and I could just stay around waiting for it to wear off.

When I got up from the stretcher there was a pile of blood on the stretcher and between my legs that the doc didn't give me anything to clean up with - good thing at least I brought wet wipes to clean myself up. And of course because of this all I have lost my fast (for Ramadan) which is irritating because I had been fasting since 4am. :( I can't fast for the next 10 days because he also put me on a different antibiotic - Amox-clav, which I haven't even heard about. Now I'll have to make this 11 days up after Ramadan is complete :(

He packed the wound and now I'm going to be having a wound care nurse come to the house daily to repack the wound - which is problaby going to hurt like a bitch. I'm certainly not looking forward to that. The doc gave me Statex but I'm not sure that that will be enough to cover the pain when they pack.

I'm off for another 2 weeks til I see him again. I'm not sure that the wound will be healed by then if he expected the abcess to be more superficial than it was. We'll see though. I just hope that the pain goes away quickly because it sucks having to lay down all the time.

Monday, July 8, 2013

A bit on the personal side

Well considering I'll never meet anyone who actually reads the stuff I post, I figured I would tell ya something a bit personal about myself... not to divulge personal information but to educate about different things that can happen - considering I'm experiencing it first hand

For a couple of months now I've been dealing with constipation - back when I was a teenager I was diagnosed with IBS (Inflammatory bowel syndrome - neither crohns or colitis definatively) and have swung from constipation to diarrhea and therefore can't try any of the meds that would help me because you have to be on one side or the other for the majority of time. Several weeks ago it became pretty bad that I developed a hemorrhoid and tried OTC stuff that never seemed to help so I sought out my family physician (FP) who gave me soemthing to try. I did so for about a week and then I developed this bump on my left buttock next to my rectum. I wait another day and a half and then it just became more and more painful. Being a nurse I *knew* that it was a rectal abcess so off I went to my FP walk-in clinic to ask for antibiotics - turns out that he figured that I also had a fistula and required an ER visit.

Off I go to my hospital (cuz I figured that if I had to be admitted or potentially have surgery) I would rather it be done at my own hospital and that way I wouldn't be stuck in a ward room. I was given a letter from the walk-in physician and waited about an hour to be triaged then another 30 min to see the nurse and have my vitals taken as well as a prelim history and then another 20 min to be registered then immediately brought to acute care in the emerge then I waited another 30ish minutes to see the ER doc and have him examine my tush who then said that he didn't feel anything (which made me flabbergasted cuz it felt huge to me!) and said that he would get a surgeon's consult and that took another 45 min who told me exactly what I already knew - I had a rectal abcess and his belief was that I also had a fistula - based on the fact that I had serosanginous fluid discharge from my rectum. He prescribed me antibiotics and I have to see him in 2 weeks.

He didn't tell me what the antibiotics were for (Cipro & Flagyl) because antibiotics can't treat an abcess (being that it's a local infection not a systemic infection) - so I figured that they're to treat any fecal infection I may have that I'm a carrier for and that that should indirectly help the fistula - who knows!

Being on the antibiotics has been rough. I have been severely nauseous, light-headed, dizzy, and weak - I feel like I have the flu. So hubby suggested that I go off them for one day and see how I feel... I listened to him and yet I still feel the same way 36+hrs later - so off I went back to the hospital cuz I can't very well stay this way. How the HELL am I supposed to take care of others when I feel like the room is spinning around me or that I very well may vomit all over them?! 8 hrs later, I'm no better really. No definitive answers either. ER doc told me to stop taking the meds and that my Sx should just stop all on their own - that although I have been taking these meds properly (BID & TID) that I have developed a UTI - like how the HELL did I develop that while being on antibiotics that TREAT that?! AND being a muslim I wash myself with water and make sure I'm EXTREMELY clean in the nether regions so WHAT THE HELL?????!!!! ER doc won't treat because I have no fever and I don't burn when I pee (told u it was a personal post!) and so he's just going to leave well enough alone - not that THAT makes sense to me but hey, I'm not a Dr!

Now I wait around, feeling useless (and everyone around this house telling me I am!) and wait til I see the surgeon later this week. Oh ya, did I mention that while being off the antibiotics that I feel like the abcess has gotten bigger and is producing more pus?! UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH

Monday, June 24, 2013

Mastoiditis & Ear infections = Bells Palsy

Hubby's cousin (also married to hubby's BFF) was admitted to the hospital yesterday. At first I was told that she had had a stroke so I was rather shitting my pants. A 30 yr old having a stroke is NOT EVER a good thing! Then when we got to the hospital I found out that that's NOT what she had...

So here's the events leading to admission...

The family took a trip into the US to visit family they had there. They went swimming and had LOTS of fun. Unfortunately, several in the family developed colds and made the trip a little crappy. When they came back they were all still on the mend. Mama of the family developed an ear infection and a sore throat and saw the family GP when they got back on the Canadian side of the border. Doc prescribed an antibiotic and Mama took the entire week of med. Unfortunately for her, a couple of days ago the ear pain ramped up and all of a sudden one side of her face started to droop (bells palsy symptom) which her hubby thought was just her "faking" it - go figure a man would think this way!!! But she insisted they see a Doc and when they went to a walk-in clinic, the Doc immediately sent them to the hospital.

Turns out that her ear infection was resistant to the antibiotics and had perforated her ear drum and then infiltrated her mastoid antrum and mastoid air system. This is the spot right behind the ear, where the jaw bone ends. Because the infection settled into this area, if the infection gets bad enough it can cause nerve palsy - hence her symptoms!! This is also one of the riskiest spots to get an infection. Turns out that if you get an infection in this spot there is a high incidence of meningitis or worse! The EENT doc who assessed hubby's cuz several weeks previously had had someone who had this EXACT same infection and treated them conservatively. Well NOT a good idea and that person ended up in ICU for several weeks because of the Dr's choice. Guess he learned his lesson cuz when we went and visited cuz in the hospital, they had her on Vanco, ceftriaxone and one other IV med. They weren't taking ANY chances this time around!

She was in the hospital for a couple of days and then on home IV antibiotics for a couple more. Thankfully her symptoms have improved and she's starting to get movement in her face again.


Thursday, June 20, 2013

Things are going the right way

It's been about a week since I passed the TEAS exam and so I emailed the program development specialist (at hubby's behest [and pestering]) to enquire about placements since their website indicates that it could take up to 2 months to complete a contract between the uni & the chosen hospital/agency. Man will I be furious if I'm close to entering my placement courses and have no contract in place and then have to wait an additional 6+ mos to complete the course!

I did, however, receive semi confirmation that I am accepted into the program - yay for me!!! According to her my "official" acceptance letter will be coming in the mail (hopefully sooner rather than later!)

I've ordered my book to start studying for Interpersonal Communication instead of public speaking (as referred to previously) - a course that I have to test out of. I need to have this completed by August. Not sure I'm going to enjoy this course, it's probably going to be quite dry. We shall see though, wish me luck!

Friday, June 14, 2013

I kicked TEAS ass!!!

I got 70% - enough to pass the damn english language section. I was sooooooooooooo nervous to take it, worried that I was going to fail again. I was so nervous that I cried when I found out that I passed. It meant so much that I passed, at least I don't have to retake the TEAS again for entrance in January. I'm happy that I don't have to change my timeline for life events.

I now get to start planning for September and the courses that I'm going to be taking. Oh how I can't wait to begin the core nursing courses!!!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Oh TEAS how I hate thee

I've been given until the 13th to complete my TEAS exam - so I've been trying to study out the wazoo - hope it helps!

I'm still having difficult in two different things, so I'm hoping that I figure them out by thursday!

Send a little prayer out for me, I need to get at LEAST 63% to pass this section. I need to sooooooo badly!!!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Admission package prep

the deadline for fall admission into the nursing part of the program has come and gone - could be why I've been a bit MIA. I had to make sure that I saw my MD regarding a current TB skin test. Also make sure that I was immune to stuff (which I know I'm not but got ANOTHER booster - evidently the one I had like 3 yrs ago didn't work). Had to get up-to-date on my BCLS. And I had to take the dreaded TEAS exam - to get entry to the nursing program.

Long story short, I passed 3 of 4 sections. I failed by ONE question on the english/grammar part. I feel stupid. I know english but man when they give you these answers, they all look the same. And after doing the other 3 parts I felt like my brain AND eyes gave up on me.

Tonight I took a practice test (only 10 questions) and STILL didn't pass it I wanted to FREAK - but I even went over it with my BFF and she made the same mistakes I did (save for one) so it made me feel not so stupid.

The thing with this part of the exam is that it fucks with my disability. Whenever they want me to choose the "best" answer or find an error in a sentence - I don't always see a clear answer. The shitty part is that none of these english questions have ANYTHING to do with nursing, so it's not like my "critical thinking" skills are being used. GRRRRRR

I only have one more shot to pass this goddamn thing. My deadline is June 13 - please pray for me, I need to get this passed!!!!!!

On a separate note, I hurt my back again. I lifted one of little tyke's toys and tweaked my back (never a good sign) and when I went into work yesterday and let my resource nurse know that my back wasn't feeling 100% and whether I could have minimal 1 assist or independent pt's - I was told to go to Occupational health and talk to them. She wouldn't deal with it on a unit level. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR and then when I got there, they were in meetings and didn't get back to me and so I ended up hurting myself while at work. Now it's an issue of whether it's an injury at work or outside of work. UGH!!!!!!!!! Man I can't wait until I'm an RN and can work with babies - where I'm VERY unlikely to hurt my back!!!!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Oooooo I'd like to smack you!

Worked several times this past week and there isn't many times in my short career where a pt has frustrated me to the point where if we could smack the pt I would but let me tell ya, this one did!!!

30-something yr old drug abuser - VERY open about this and honest which is surprising - who got beat up by friends (nice friends huh?!) who dropped the pt at the hospital and left (again, nice friends huh!) where it turns out that there's a brain hemmorhage in the frontal and Rt temporal lobes - bad enough that it required surgical intervention which also necessitated removal of the frontal portion of his skull. It was NOT subsequently put back in once the swelling resolved and when pt came to us still had no skull protecting the frontal lobe. Pt had a nice temporal to temporal suture line that was well approximated and healing nicely. Because this pt had very little impulse control related to the brain injury, it meant that there was a security guard 24hrs/day.

When I got this pt they had taken away the pt's percocet order being that this pt crushed it and snorted it - STUPID nurse for not watching this pt since history was known! And therefore received injectable morphine. Being that pt is a known drug abuser - including narcotic abuse - it's no wonder that the morphine dose of 5mg did NOTHING for the pt's pain. When I got this pt they were VERY whiney and irritating and I TRIED my best to get some semblance of pain control but even getting the dose tripled the pt still complained that I did nothing to help with their pain and that I sucked.

This pt was also a clock watcher which can be VERY frustrating and constantly badgered me throughout my shift. Well rules are rules, I'm not about to bend them because your pain control sucks. I called the doc, they choose what med to give you and how MUCH to give you, so BACK OFF!!!

Even while charting this pt would sit in front of me and bug me - and when the pt started to pick at the incision I had had enough and told him/her in no uncertain terms NOT TO PICK IT!!! That it would get infected and since no bone = no brain protection = brain infection = NOT GOOD!!!!!!!!! Ya this didn't seem to sink in and several hours later the security guard came to me and told me that the pt had picked at the incision again and now it was bleeding - UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! When I went in the room I seriously wanted to smack this pt having told this one not to do this exact thing several hours previously. Thankfully it was close to shift change and I was able to hand this one over to the next nurse to have to deal with!

The next shift I had this pt I came on shift and made it known that if the pt asked for the pain med more than one time that for every request I was delaying administration by ONE hour - ya, I didn't get pestered so yay for me!

Monday, May 13, 2013

Crazy adventure part 3

Daughter woke up around 1030 hrs and so I sent her downstairs to "hang out" with papa and he okayed me to head back to bed since I didn't sleep at night being that I drove all night.

I woke with about 45 min remaining in my mom's shift and then grabbed the little tyke and headed to go surprise "nana". When we got to the store I did a bit of grocery shopping and then headed towards the cashiers checkouts. Unfortunately she was on express which means every customer wants to go through her because it's usually the fastest lane.

I tried to keep out of her line of vision but I also wanted to stop ppl from going in her lane because I knew that as soon as she saw us she would stop working and leave that person hanging.

I ended up coming out from behind the banana stand that I was hiding behind when there was just one woman left and she was ALMOST finished her order

To say that she was SHOCKED is an understatement!

She first saw the little tyke and she did a double take - then she like jumped up and down and it was almost like she squealed with glee. She stopped the lady's order and came around her till to come give us a hug.

She was soooooooooooo shocked that she started crying, apologizing to the lady for not completing her order. Lady said she didn't mind, she would have done the same thing if her daughter did the same thing that i did. The lady actually teared up as well. It was awesome and was glad that I kept it a complete secret and surprised her like I did.

Afterwards we did a bit of grocery shopping and then went back to the house to check on my dad because heaven forbid we leave him alone for more than 5 hrs --> or at least that's the way my mom was thinking!

I phoned around and let everyone know that I was in town and that we would have a huge family dinner the next day. Then I headed up to my BFF's workplace - a nursing home - to surprise her next.

When I got there it was dinner time so at least I didn't have to wonder around the nursing home lost. It only took me several dinner room areas to find her. When she saw me she didn't even seem shocked which suprrised me more than anything. Afterwards she told me that she was shocked but that she was so exhausted (she's 4 months preggo ATM) that her brain was on auto mode.

Then I headed back to the house to have a bite to eat and a couple of people popped into the house to visit. About 1100hrs BFF called and said that she was done work and asked me if I wanted to head to her place to see her new digs (she bought a house about a month earlier so I was excited to go see it). I had already put the kiddo to bed and took dad's cell in case kiddo woke up. Of course seeing your BFF is sooooooooo different in person than it is over the phone and we had so much catching up to do. We were sooooo chatty that he didn't realize the time flying by and when I looked at the clockm it was already 0300 and I jumped up and said that I would head out seeing as we both had to get up early. But not surprisingly we got held up at the door chatting some more and by the time I actually walked out her door it was 0400. Lets just say that I slept good that night!

The rest of my visit was the same - lots of visitors and lots of late nights (tho that was the latest).

All in all it was an awesome vacation and wish I lived closer where I could just get in my car and go and visit.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Crazy adventure - part 2

I drive a 2009 Honda Civic - my car has this really cool feature - the speedometer is electronic and has the ability to go between kilometers/hr & miles/hr - which is awesome! Once in Michigan I changed my speedometer to mph so that I knew how fast I was driving.

To be completely honest I was travelling 77 mph in a 70 mph and so when another vehicle travelling in the opposite direction started to slow down while approaching an emergency vehicle only U-turn spot between the divided lanes I was suspicious that it was a police vehicle and so I started to slow down and moved into the other lane (just in case it wasn't a police vehicle I was being friendly by allowing this person to complete their u-turn without having to wait for me to pass).

But once I was at the u-turn spot the other vehicle lit up and sure enough it was a police vehicle. Immediately I pulled over to the side of the road and pressed my special button to put it back into kph. here's how the conversation went down when the officer came to my window...

officer - hello miss, you were going awful fast. Do you know how fast you were driving?

me - about 122-123 kph

officer - what's that in mph?

me - I don't know officer. My car doesn't show me in mph only kph. So I just approximated my speed.

officer - Where were you going in such a hurry?

me - my father was hurt a couple days ago so I'm going to see him and make sure that he's ok since I'm a nurse and I'm not sure that I trust that the healthcare ppl are looking after him properly. (Said totally because cops generally respect nurses and see them as equals and those who will care for ppl)

officer - ok well license & registration

About 5 min later....

officer - (looking into my car) you should have a button that allows you to make your speedometer into mph...

me - really officer, I didn't know that (totally did but wasn't about to admit it!)

officer - finds button and presses it which did nothing.

me - no officer that didn't do anything

officer - presses it again

me - nope, nothing

officer - presses it AGAIN

me - I don't know officer, it's not doing anything

officer - this time he presses it for a bit longer & TADA it changes

me - wow, that's pretty cool

officer - well make sure that you use this as you travel. And please slow down.

me - oh I certainly will officer. Then he hands me back my license & registration.

Honestly I was thinking that when he pulled me over it was like my third strike for this trip and I was now out. I was shitting in my pants because how the hell was I going to tell my hubby that not only did I fuck up the car but that I was also caught for speeding. That certainly would NOT be a pleasant conversation.

Off I went to head across the border and to my parents house where I went in with the number code for the back door. I arrived at 0530 hrs and made sure to hide my car behind the neighbors big ass truck. Of course my dad was sleeping on the couch. Their stupid dog has a collar that jangles so of course it woke up my dad. I stashed my shoes & jacket in the closet and made sure there was no hint that I was there. I told Dad to keep me coming a secret and that i would try to surprise my mom before she went off to work at 1000 hrs.

Unfortunately I didn't wake up in time and off mom went to work. Stay tuned to part 3 to hear the rest

Saturday, May 4, 2013

What a crazy adventure I had - part 1

My last post was rather harsh on my mom - I love her but totally didn't see her point about how she needed to "care" for my dad who has a broken FOOT....

On Tuesday just before little tyke's gymnastics lesson, hubby calls me and asks me if I want to go to my parents and take little tyke with me and celebrate her birthday up there since mom and auntie would be missing little tyke's birthday (rather the whole point why they were coming down here)... so I said YES!!!!!!!!!!! Totally excited I was. It was something that had crossed my mind but wasn't about to bring up to hubby seeing that he hates when I go up there since it's not cheap and I ALWAYS end up spending more than I really should. So I was totally pumped when he brought this idea up, I wasn't about to turn it down.

So off I went packing and making sure that I brought the stuff we really needed and not over pack (as I often do!) and away little tyke and I went after gymnastics (and a late dinner with hubby). I got on the road at approx. 2130hrs.

when I was leaving the house I took the passport folder out of the middle console in the car and put it into the holder of the driver side door - that way I didn't have to lift the console (which little tyke usually puts her feet on when she falls asleep in the car) and chance waking the sleeping kiddo. And figured that I would have easier access to it.

Since I knew that I would be going into the US as it's faster to get to my hometown that way I called hubby and asked him to transfer money into the US account online and I would stop by our bank before heading out of town. Unfortunately my bank ATM didn't register the transfer right away and when I called hubby an hour later was elated to find out that the transfer did register and that when I got to the US border city that I could find a bank there and withdraw the american money. Hubby gave me directions to the closest bank in that city so at least I knew where to go as our GPS broke a couple months ago.

About 2 hrs into the drive I hit rain (and it's dark) and all of a sudden I hit something (still don't know what exactly I hit because I didn't see anything) and hear the "thump,thump,thump" - which I thought was a blown tire. I pulled to the side of the road and get out in the pouring rain to find out that the plastic holding my front end together had ripped off and it was still connected in the driver's side wheel well. I was of course FREAKING OUT thinking to myself how the HELL am I going to get this off?!

Of course I had no cell coverage unless in emergency and I didn't quite class this as an emergency. I had a thought that MAYBE I might have nursing scissors in my bag (left in the car as I had worked on Monday) and when I went in the bag found that I didn't have scissors but I did have my paring knife used to prep stuff for dinners at work. I HOPED it would work... thankfully it did. I cut away the piece of plastic from the car (trying not to puncture the tire and still make sure I cut enough of the plastic away that I could drive and the remainder wouldn't rub against the tire while driving and cause a flat tire. So I was on my way again.

Once reaching the border city I headed to the bank only to get out of the car and find that the bank didn't have an accessible ATM from the outside of the building (ya I was a little pissed at this point!). I get back in the car and headed for the border - figured that I would just grab american money in the US when I went to a Walmart or something. Once I get almost to the bridge to go across I reached for the passport folder to find out that it was MISSING from the door. Man was I shitting myself!!! I FREAKED!!!!!!!!!!! In the folder I had MY passport, hubby's passport, hubby's nexus card, daughter's birth certificate, and son's birth certificate. If you add that all up it equals approx. $400 --------------> FUCK ME NOW was all I was thinking!!!! I KNEW that if I didn't find where the hell these went hubby would have my head and rightly so!!!

I pulled over to the side of the road immediately and searched the driver's side door and beside & under my seat but didn't find it. Now I was racking my brain about where the folder could have gone. The two places I had opened the car door had been at the bank and when I stopped when I hit something.... man was I hoping that the folder was in the parking lot at the bank because if it wasn't there was NO WAY IN HELL that I was going to find it on the side of the road (the folder was black), in the dark and it was raining.... YA I WAS FUCKED!!! So off I went to the bank to HOPEFULLY find it at the bank.

When I pulled into the bank parking lot I didn't pull right into the spot but let the headlights shine so that I might see the folder.... nope it wasn't there. At this point I was almost in tears! I was desperate. I was praying that somehow I hadn't looked hard enough in the car and so I got out again, this time on my hands and knees and REALLY searched the car... someone was looking over me because THANKFULLY I found the folder.

I got back in my car and thanked GOD that I had found it - under the chair but tucked in on the side. Off I went to cross the border, which was quick and painless.

Now you would think that that would be enough that happened to me but I'm not done yet. Unfortunately it's 3am ATM and I should head to bed - we're celebrating little tyke's b-day tomorrow with hubby's family and I'm pretty sure they don't want me to head for a nap tomorrow so stay tuned for the rest of my story. It's craziness!