Monday, June 8, 2015

My birthday

Two hours ago I turned 33! Wow, where has the time flown to?!

My husband took me out for dinner yesterday - yummy Mandarin - a day early because it was crab leg day (yummo!) and today he made an appt for me to have a "hair spa day" - I get it shampoo'd, cut, highlighted and styled. I'm looking forward to this. It's been a while since that has been done so I'm excited! Especially considering my eldest graduates from elementary school at the end of this month (now I'm just showing my age!)!!!

When my littlest heard that hubby was taking JUST me out for dinner she threw an epic fit! She was aboslutely distraught that we were going to leave her behind. Her words "but you NEVER take me anywhere" - you could FEEL her desperation! Oh the woes of a 6 yr old!!! Funny thing was was that I took her for a special day - just her and I - just YESTERDAY (saturday) and we went shopping and had lunch together. We spent a bunch of special time just us together. We really enjoyed ourselves - so of course I had to point this out and you could tell that she got it even though she was still mightily upset - when I explained to her that she got special time with mommy that it was only fair that daddy also get special time with mommy to celebrate!

When I reach my birthday every year it makes me look at what I've accomplished. I feel like I'm behind the eight ball - it's taken me sooooo long trying to reach my goals. I live with my in-laws, I don't have my degree.... I started this whole road almost 13 years ago and I have fallen and faltered on it. When I look at my best friend I see where my road was supposed to go and where I "should" be right now. I'm seriously green with envy - I want what she has! I want her possessions and position. I hate that I'm in this position because of the road I've had to travel. Then again, without this road I wouldn't be the person I am. I know that my road brought me my loving husband who has given me the strength and support I've needed to pursue my nursing. We've BOTH made sacrifices to try to make our goals work.

This past year I was able to make it through a course that I have struggled to get past and I feel like I've made it around the bend - the one that's plagued me. I only have 5 more nursing courses before I finish this degree and boy can I not wait!

I'm hoping that in this next year I can make it successfully through these courses. I'm hoping that I can make these goals that I have set. I fear failure (who doesn't?!) but I also know that anything's possible.

To the possible!

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