Saturday, July 30, 2016

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can

My title I took is from the book "The little engine that could" because that's where I feel I'm at right now.

This week is the last week for my class, but I'm still working on my paper. My IIH has made it difficult to write like a 4th year - especially when you add uber amounts of stress and it's triggering migraines which make writing even that more difficult.

So I asked for an extension 4 days before my paper was due and my prof and I emailed back and forth - she asked for a note from my physician, which I got quite easily because my family Dr is AWESOME and completely understands my condition and trusts me when I say how bad I feel I'm doing. He also doubled my migraine med, which was nice.

I emailed it to my prof and she asked when I wanted the extension until and I told her but then didn't hear back from her. I figured that I was in good straights and so I continued to struggle on with the paper. But then 5 days later I got my weekly update mark back and she gave me zero and noted that she hadn't received a difinative date for the extension and so she pretty much told me that I would have to complete THE ENTIRE CLASS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!

I internally flipped out but then hubby suggested I wait until the morning to email me so that my state of mind & emotions didn't rub off into the email. So I did... I forwarded her the email that I sent her previously, which clearly indicated what day I had sent it, as well as me noting a difinative date for extension. Well.... she emailed me back saying I now had to speak with the director of the program to ask for the extension from them. OOOOOOO that infuriated me! It was HER fault and I was being punished for it. Goodness I was frustrated. So off I go contacting this third party, explaining my position on it all. And thankfully she stated that she was alright with the extension so long as I kept to it. Ok, no problem!

HOWEVER (isn't there always that with me?!) she's to be my prof for this next course (the director of the program will be the prof) and stated that she was concerned that my health will impact my ability to keep up in the next course and suggested that I take a semester off in order to "get my health in order" - AAAARRRRRGGGGGG - see what my friggin current prof started?! Ugh I was so irritated by this all.  I emailed her back indicating that I was able to keep up with all the course work and such for this entire course and that I have only struggled with this paper. I haven't received anything back from her. I don't want to take a semester off, this next semester is supposed to be my LAST semester, I just want it all over and done with!!!! Plus, I figure that if we can get the migraines under control, things will be alright. It's the tricky bit really.

So my plan for next semester will be to contact the prof early on if we have a larger paper and get started on it immediately so that the stress of it all won't be so severe and I shouldn't experience the migraines like I have been (I hope!) - plus we're playing around with meds & dosages so I'm hoping that we can find something that works. The increased dosage of the med I have been on seems to work sometimes but other times it only takes the edge off.

Having IIH there are MANY (almost all) migraine meds (incl preventative ones) that I can't take because the SE is increase intracranial pressure.... and while normal folk this is alright, with me, this is particularly troublesome considering mine's already increased! So I don't know what I'm going to do. I know that my neurologist said that he was going to refer me to the headache specialist but I haven't heard high nor hair from them so I may have to call my  neurologist's office and inquire about this.

Once this course is done I'll tell you all about clinical and trying to get back to work - life is never boring I can honestly say.... I would like a bit more boredom!

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