Sunday, April 21, 2013

Damn you daddy

So my daughter's fourth birthday is around the corner - as in next Saturday. Since JANUARY my mom has had vacation planned for her to come to US to celebrate little tyke's birthday... so here's how our conversation went the other night...

Online chatter -
mom messaging me - "u there"
me - "ya, but why r u up at 1:30 am?! And why the hell didn't you do my farmville2 tonight like we talked about" (thinking in my head - why the hell didn't u do my farmville 2 like we discussed earlier!!!)
mom - "just got back from the hospital for your dad"
me - "holy shit, I'm calling"

now me using the phone knowing I won't wake anyone up and have anyone yelling at me for calling at such a gawd awful time of night
me - 'what the hell happened?"
mom - "well your father broke his foot"
me - "how the hell did he manage that one?!" - now let me preface this by saying that my father can do some interesting things and manage to hurt himself - he fell off a roof of a house and broke his pelvis (know where you have the 'o' space in your pelvis on both sides? well my dad managed to hair break his bone in two places from the 'o' space outwards
mom - "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell he was putting away the groceries that I brought home and he had a hot flash (dad's going through the change of life just like my mom) and he was holding a ketchup bottle and dropped it and because of the hot flash lost his balance and sorta tripped over the bottle and fell on the ground.
me - "ok....." - thinking to myself how the HELL does ANYONE (besides ppl with osteoporosis) manage to break their foot by falling from a standing position
mom - "and it started to swell but he took a couple of tylenol and went back to work, when he got home he was in a ton of pain and the foot was super swollen and it was black & blue all over so I took him to the ER
me - "so I'm assuming he thought it was a sprain like most ppl would think huh?!"
mom - "yep and when we went to the ER that's all they thought too at first. We had a x-ray done but that didn't show anything conclusive so they did a CT scan and that showed the fracture.
me - "typical dad, requiring a CT scan to show that he's broken it, can't just do anything straight up"
mom - "nope, so now he has to go to the orthopedic specialist sometime next week. They have him in a soft cast and told him to not put any pressure on it. He's a cripple ATM and so I can't come down for Mini me's birthday next week"
me - (pretty close to yelling) "ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME??????????!!!!!!!!!!! We've been planning this for FOUR months now and you're going to cancel on me because dad can't take care of himself?! Have his mommy take care of him for the weekend while you're down here, she only lives down the street!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
mom - girly you need to calm down, I'll see what I can do but no promises.....

ERRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG - damn you dad! Way to ruin my time with my mom (and if you're all wondering why my mom just can't bring crippled dad, it's because he can't sit in the car long enough for the drive because of his previous pelvis fracture screwed up his ability to sit on his ass in a vehicle long enough to come down here. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I still haven't broken it to my daughter that her precious nana might not be coming down for her birthday - how do you get a 4 yr old to understand it without breaking her little heart?!

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