Another year down a new one about to begin

I paid for another year of registration. Makes you look back over this last year. I can't believe I've been MIA for 6 months - half of the goddamn year paid for that I didn't get to utilize. STUPID health issues. Grrrr it makes me so angry. It's put me into such a bad place financially. I hate fighting with hubby about money. We see finances so differently. I mainly avoid. I hate conflict. I'm not very good at it - hubby seems to think that I enjoy fighting. NOT so much!!! I try to avoid it at all costs - especially with hubby. His mom not so much, if she's going to pick a fight with  me I'm not about to back down. The only time I do is at hubby's behest.

I  tried calling Oc health today - no response. I don't understand what's taking so bloody long. It really isn't a hard issue or one that needs so many meetings. I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK!!!! I really really don't understand why they're making it so hard for someone to go back to work who wants to actually work. They're making me prove over and over that I'm capable of it yet not letting me get back to it once I do. These stupid hoops are rediculous!

The only good thing about me being off was being off over the holidays and being to go see my family and hang with them. I looooooooved seeing my son. He was actually decently behaved this time and only really tested me once. I "made" him take his ADHD medication one day - told him I couldn't handle his "ADHD attitude" and his "teenager attitude" at the same time and that if I could medicate the teenager one I would but since there isn't a med that can tame that ugly beast he had to put up with medicating the one that could be. He took his med and 45 minutes later everything was right in the world once more!

We got in lots of family time. I even got to see him play 2 hockey games. He got his first "gordy howe hat trick" - a goal, an assist and a penalty. I was very proud of him (he didn't really deserve the penalty but meh I'm not about to become a hockey mom because of it). They won that game 9:2.... it was an AWESOME game. The second game he didn't get anything but damn did he play well. Their team won that game as well... 5:2 - And my dad, brother, SIL and little & big nephews were there so it was a blessed game and we all enjoyed ourself thoroughly.

I got to see my bestie - wish I could have a bit more but her darling 9 wk old darling wouldn't quite allow us to. Such a pity, I love that gal and her darling bitty to bits. I felt so bad for bestie when her darling wouldn't settle, it's rough when the person you love suffers and there isn't anything you can do to help. I hate feeling helpless and watching my bestie feel helpless as well. It's rough.

I always love going home. There's something to be said about going to your childhood home and being able to relish all the good memories. To spend a night in your "old bedroom". But there's something also to be said about coming back home and sleeping in your own bed. I enjoyed my time there but I'm glad to be back here. Going up there was the scariest drive in the 4.5 yrs I've been living in the south. I went when the ice storm came through and it made for some seriously dangerous driving. I never want to do it again. Man I hope I never experience that again. Honestly, if a situation like that ever happens again, I'll fly instead. Oh goodness I can't wait to move to a place like Texas or somewhere similar when the temps are so much warmer than freezing this time of year!!! Where I could be going swimming in my backyard pool instead of skating on it!

Coming home & Honor society

Home sweet home - nothing like it. Being able to hug your mama and be in your childhood home. It's awesome. The little tyke was AMAZED with the christmas tree (we haven't had one for two years) and especially with all the presents around it. Makes my heart swell. THIS is what I want for Eid. I just wish I wasn't the only one or that I had to be the only one trying to pull it all together.

The drive here was HORRENDOUS! It was the scariest drive in the 4 1/2 years that I've lived away from home and driving here during the holidays. It was slushy and yucky for about 2 hrs and I white knuckled through it. I also prayed the ENTIRE 2 hours! Not kidding either. There was several times that I thought I was going to crash. Only by the mercy and grace of God almighty did I make here safe and alive.

Hubby didn't come with. He's too new at the new job and wasn't able to get any time off and so it made more sense for me to come by myself. I miss him, don't miss the arguing over Christmas though.

He called me this morning. Unusual for him, he usually waits until a bit later. WHY did he call???

I was formally invited into the honor society by my university (don't know exactly which one yet because I didn't read the mail, he did and didn't say) - HUGE honor considering they don't invite you unless your GPA is high enough - and mine's 3.8 YAAAAY. He's proud of me (so he said) and frankly so am I.

A lot of good that did me

I had my "meeting" with the powers that "be" - not that it got my anywhere. Oc health agreed to the fri,sat,sun but not the evenings or nights. Said that days can be just like evenings or nights. I tend to disagree but when my union rep didn't bother to stand up for me, I didn't really have a leg to stand on. So now I need to get my Dr to write restrictions indicating that I can have increased rest periods. But the thing about this is that I won't get paid for these "rest periods" and what if I don't need them, how are they going to know I took them? I hate day shifts, and of course the guy who runs Oc health says that he would prefer to have me work days so that they can "overlook" me - well I'd be working weekends and so it's not like all the management ppl would be around so what does it matter?! Doesn't sound logical to me! Why so much politics, just so that I can go to work?! Do what I was trained and registered to do?!

I had the meeting early Tues morning and haven't heard back when my first day would be. I'm going to call in the AM because if I am not going to start this weekend, I would rather spend the time heading north to spend Christmas with my family. Oh how I want to go home. I miss my friend and family. I want to see my mum. I know that we don't always see eye to eye but she's my mum and I feel comfortable when I'm in my family home, having family dinners with plenty of sharing. And my mom decorates for Christmas so wonderfully - Oh the sights. It makes me smile and makes me sad at the same time. I miss the sights. I dislike that I can't celebrate something that I celebrated since I was born. In this family they believe that anything of another religion is terrible and therefore shouldn't be celebrated. More specifically that celebrating one prophets birth/death more so than another is blasphemy. But Christmas is not religious in my family. It's about spending time together, giving gifts and enjoying the sights when they open them. It's a day where everyone is happy. It's something that I love, I enjoy it and I miss it terribly.

A big week coming

This week is kinda big in my life. This week I have a meeting with the surgeon who will determine if I get to go back to work and if I get to have the weekend shifts that I feel I need.

Then I have a meeting with Oc health, my manager and my union rep to determine WHEN I can go back to work. Goodness I hope it's soon!

These two things will determine WHEN I get to go home for Christmas - one things that this family will NOT let me celebrate here - so I REALLY REALLY want to go home. Plus my two brothers are shit heads and tend to spend more time with their wife's side of the family and therefore if if I didn't go home, then my mama would be left alone (and her hubby is a bigger shit head and doesn't know how to celebrate properly and always inevitably screws up the celebration) so there's just me to help her celebrate christmas.

Plus little tyke LOVES all the lights of christmas and keeps enquiring WHEN christmas is going to be. She doesn't understand why exactly we don't celebrate in this household and it's next to impossible to tell a 4 yr old and have her truely understand. So I'm happy that we get to go up to mom's house and celebrate all the awesomeness that goes along with the holidays. If only Eid was celebrated in the same manner, then maybe her and I would be excited about it as well.

Tomorrow's a busy day

Tomorrow is Eid al-Adha - a muslim celebration about the fact that Abraham was willing to sacrafice his son because God asked. Then there's the required prayers, which when it's warm it's expected to do it outdoors. Not so sure tomorrow it will be. And the ritual from eons is that you sacrifice an animal just like Abraham did instead of sacrificing his own son and so we celebrate it by getting together as a family and having a huge dinner. It's the day after Hajj - where MANY muslims flock to Saudi Arabia to pray at the holy site. So tomorrow we pray and we eat. Should be lots of fun, it usually is.

Also tomorrow after the family dinner and hubby is done at school then we're heading to my hometown. My bestie just gave birth yesterday to a little girl yesterday, so I can't wait to go there and meet the little princess. Plus my nephew's birthday is on Thurs so I can't wait to celebrate his first birthday. Oh I wish we were able to have more babies right now - but I have to wait until my BSN is complete. Working hard on getting that accomplished.

speaking of school - I'm done my placement and I'm about half way through my semester - and I'm averaging 90+%. I am really trying to keep that up. I think I should study more but the ADHD rears its head and I lose my motivation. More difficult than I can explain.

Either way, can't wait to get to my hometown and be around all my family and my friends.