Another year down a new one about to begin

I paid for another year of registration. Makes you look back over this last year. I can't believe I've been MIA for 6 months - half of the goddamn year paid for that I didn't get to utilize. STUPID health issues. Grrrr it makes me so angry. It's put me into such a bad place financially. I hate fighting with hubby about money. We see finances so differently. I mainly avoid. I hate conflict. I'm not very good at it - hubby seems to think that I enjoy fighting. NOT so much!!! I try to avoid it at all costs - especially with hubby. His mom not so much, if she's going to pick a fight with  me I'm not about to back down. The only time I do is at hubby's behest.

I  tried calling Oc health today - no response. I don't understand what's taking so bloody long. It really isn't a hard issue or one that needs so many meetings. I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK!!!! I really really don't understand why they're making it so hard for someone to go back to work who wants to actually work. They're making me prove over and over that I'm capable of it yet not letting me get back to it once I do. These stupid hoops are rediculous!

The only good thing about me being off was being off over the holidays and being to go see my family and hang with them. I looooooooved seeing my son. He was actually decently behaved this time and only really tested me once. I "made" him take his ADHD medication one day - told him I couldn't handle his "ADHD attitude" and his "teenager attitude" at the same time and that if I could medicate the teenager one I would but since there isn't a med that can tame that ugly beast he had to put up with medicating the one that could be. He took his med and 45 minutes later everything was right in the world once more!

We got in lots of family time. I even got to see him play 2 hockey games. He got his first "gordy howe hat trick" - a goal, an assist and a penalty. I was very proud of him (he didn't really deserve the penalty but meh I'm not about to become a hockey mom because of it). They won that game 9:2.... it was an AWESOME game. The second game he didn't get anything but damn did he play well. Their team won that game as well... 5:2 - And my dad, brother, SIL and little & big nephews were there so it was a blessed game and we all enjoyed ourself thoroughly.

I got to see my bestie - wish I could have a bit more but her darling 9 wk old darling wouldn't quite allow us to. Such a pity, I love that gal and her darling bitty to bits. I felt so bad for bestie when her darling wouldn't settle, it's rough when the person you love suffers and there isn't anything you can do to help. I hate feeling helpless and watching my bestie feel helpless as well. It's rough.

I always love going home. There's something to be said about going to your childhood home and being able to relish all the good memories. To spend a night in your "old bedroom". But there's something also to be said about coming back home and sleeping in your own bed. I enjoyed my time there but I'm glad to be back here. Going up there was the scariest drive in the 4.5 yrs I've been living in the south. I went when the ice storm came through and it made for some seriously dangerous driving. I never want to do it again. Man I hope I never experience that again. Honestly, if a situation like that ever happens again, I'll fly instead. Oh goodness I can't wait to move to a place like Texas or somewhere similar when the temps are so much warmer than freezing this time of year!!! Where I could be going swimming in my backyard pool instead of skating on it!

Family & School

So I know that I don't talk about school that often, it's just that I haven't been really motivated to get much of it done. Doing school work from a distance is tricky with ADHD, however, I've managed to get 4 courses read and notes done, now it's time to challenge exam them.

On Sunday, my daughter and I head up to my hometown to spend some time with family and darling son. I'm looking forward to it but also dreading it a bit. I've run into some drama which has made me dread going up....

My son will be 11 in November, the court agreement indicates that I get him for the summer. This year, though, his father manipulated him (IMO) and had him indicate to me that he only wanted to spend 4 weeks (out of 10) with me. I was hurt but I allowed this to occur. Especially considering his father said that I was abusing him (my son) by indicating that his decision hurt my feelings and that I didn't want it to occur.

I made plans to go to my hometown in like April, not that I told my son or his father any of this (non of their business IMO) for the end of August, because I was going to surprise kiddo with the trip to hang with Nana & Papa while he was still with me - but that got taken away from me.

Now under the court agreement, I'm supposed to get him for the entire time that I'm in my hometown but instead I have to give my son to his asshole father for 3 days - there's so much more drama besides this but whatever. I always have to give up time, it's frustrating and hurtful.

Another thing has to do with my bestie and my mom, if either came to my area, it would be expected that I take time off from my job in order to spend time with them, but the same thing isn't being done when I go to my hometown.

My bestie, I can sympathize with (even though it saddens me) because her job doesn't have enough nurses to accomodate her getting time off unless it's vacation (and even then she still has to fight them to have it), but with my mom there's really no reason.

She works at a grocery store and there's TONS of younger and less senior ppl under her that she can tell them she wants a couple of days off. It's not like my parents are hurting for money or anything. I even told my mom that it felt like I had to pay her to stay off from her work. My mom takes 4 wks of vacation during the summer - 2 wks to go to HER bestie's cottage and then 2 wks for all of her friends to go to HER cottage.... and I figured that I would come during the last half of her vacation so that I can see her friends and mom and then another week where her and I can hang out, without having her have to go to work. But this isn't the case. This has been this way my ENTIRE life, why would I expect anything different to happen? She told me like 2 months ago, that if I were to go up to my hometown, that she would take time off to spend with me... and then when I tell her that that's what I would like her to do, she tells me no way.

When I called her and cried because it was hurting my feelings so much, she FINALLY said that she would try to see what she could do.... I guess we'll see when I go up on Sunday.

I'm about to start my nursing courses for my pre-req to get into the program - I'm looking forward to going and spending some leisurely time, swimming and studying cuz when I return, I have to challenge four courses -
* Nursing care for the childbearing family
* Nursing care for the adult
* Nursing care for the child and family
* Nursing care for mental health (something like that)

While I'll be studying these, I also figure that I'll be studying to take my NCLEX-PN since I also have to take this when I return (probably at the end of September, beginning of October) seeing that I'm trying to get my license in Michigan in case we decide to move to the states.