Another year down a new one about to begin

I paid for another year of registration. Makes you look back over this last year. I can't believe I've been MIA for 6 months - half of the goddamn year paid for that I didn't get to utilize. STUPID health issues. Grrrr it makes me so angry. It's put me into such a bad place financially. I hate fighting with hubby about money. We see finances so differently. I mainly avoid. I hate conflict. I'm not very good at it - hubby seems to think that I enjoy fighting. NOT so much!!! I try to avoid it at all costs - especially with hubby. His mom not so much, if she's going to pick a fight with  me I'm not about to back down. The only time I do is at hubby's behest.

I  tried calling Oc health today - no response. I don't understand what's taking so bloody long. It really isn't a hard issue or one that needs so many meetings. I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK!!!! I really really don't understand why they're making it so hard for someone to go back to work who wants to actually work. They're making me prove over and over that I'm capable of it yet not letting me get back to it once I do. These stupid hoops are rediculous!

The only good thing about me being off was being off over the holidays and being to go see my family and hang with them. I looooooooved seeing my son. He was actually decently behaved this time and only really tested me once. I "made" him take his ADHD medication one day - told him I couldn't handle his "ADHD attitude" and his "teenager attitude" at the same time and that if I could medicate the teenager one I would but since there isn't a med that can tame that ugly beast he had to put up with medicating the one that could be. He took his med and 45 minutes later everything was right in the world once more!

We got in lots of family time. I even got to see him play 2 hockey games. He got his first "gordy howe hat trick" - a goal, an assist and a penalty. I was very proud of him (he didn't really deserve the penalty but meh I'm not about to become a hockey mom because of it). They won that game 9:2.... it was an AWESOME game. The second game he didn't get anything but damn did he play well. Their team won that game as well... 5:2 - And my dad, brother, SIL and little & big nephews were there so it was a blessed game and we all enjoyed ourself thoroughly.

I got to see my bestie - wish I could have a bit more but her darling 9 wk old darling wouldn't quite allow us to. Such a pity, I love that gal and her darling bitty to bits. I felt so bad for bestie when her darling wouldn't settle, it's rough when the person you love suffers and there isn't anything you can do to help. I hate feeling helpless and watching my bestie feel helpless as well. It's rough.

I always love going home. There's something to be said about going to your childhood home and being able to relish all the good memories. To spend a night in your "old bedroom". But there's something also to be said about coming back home and sleeping in your own bed. I enjoyed my time there but I'm glad to be back here. Going up there was the scariest drive in the 4.5 yrs I've been living in the south. I went when the ice storm came through and it made for some seriously dangerous driving. I never want to do it again. Man I hope I never experience that again. Honestly, if a situation like that ever happens again, I'll fly instead. Oh goodness I can't wait to move to a place like Texas or somewhere similar when the temps are so much warmer than freezing this time of year!!! Where I could be going swimming in my backyard pool instead of skating on it!

A lot of good that did me

I had my "meeting" with the powers that "be" - not that it got my anywhere. Oc health agreed to the fri,sat,sun but not the evenings or nights. Said that days can be just like evenings or nights. I tend to disagree but when my union rep didn't bother to stand up for me, I didn't really have a leg to stand on. So now I need to get my Dr to write restrictions indicating that I can have increased rest periods. But the thing about this is that I won't get paid for these "rest periods" and what if I don't need them, how are they going to know I took them? I hate day shifts, and of course the guy who runs Oc health says that he would prefer to have me work days so that they can "overlook" me - well I'd be working weekends and so it's not like all the management ppl would be around so what does it matter?! Doesn't sound logical to me! Why so much politics, just so that I can go to work?! Do what I was trained and registered to do?!

I had the meeting early Tues morning and haven't heard back when my first day would be. I'm going to call in the AM because if I am not going to start this weekend, I would rather spend the time heading north to spend Christmas with my family. Oh how I want to go home. I miss my friend and family. I want to see my mum. I know that we don't always see eye to eye but she's my mum and I feel comfortable when I'm in my family home, having family dinners with plenty of sharing. And my mom decorates for Christmas so wonderfully - Oh the sights. It makes me smile and makes me sad at the same time. I miss the sights. I dislike that I can't celebrate something that I celebrated since I was born. In this family they believe that anything of another religion is terrible and therefore shouldn't be celebrated. More specifically that celebrating one prophets birth/death more so than another is blasphemy. But Christmas is not religious in my family. It's about spending time together, giving gifts and enjoying the sights when they open them. It's a day where everyone is happy. It's something that I love, I enjoy it and I miss it terribly.

Tomorrow's a busy day

Tomorrow is Eid al-Adha - a muslim celebration about the fact that Abraham was willing to sacrafice his son because God asked. Then there's the required prayers, which when it's warm it's expected to do it outdoors. Not so sure tomorrow it will be. And the ritual from eons is that you sacrifice an animal just like Abraham did instead of sacrificing his own son and so we celebrate it by getting together as a family and having a huge dinner. It's the day after Hajj - where MANY muslims flock to Saudi Arabia to pray at the holy site. So tomorrow we pray and we eat. Should be lots of fun, it usually is.

Also tomorrow after the family dinner and hubby is done at school then we're heading to my hometown. My bestie just gave birth yesterday to a little girl yesterday, so I can't wait to go there and meet the little princess. Plus my nephew's birthday is on Thurs so I can't wait to celebrate his first birthday. Oh I wish we were able to have more babies right now - but I have to wait until my BSN is complete. Working hard on getting that accomplished.

speaking of school - I'm done my placement and I'm about half way through my semester - and I'm averaging 90+%. I am really trying to keep that up. I think I should study more but the ADHD rears its head and I lose my motivation. More difficult than I can explain.

Either way, can't wait to get to my hometown and be around all my family and my friends.

Home with Family

I've been away for almost 2 weeks. I've come to my hometown to hang with family and see my kiddo. I LOVED going out to the cottage and being able to fully relax, to go swimming, having a campfire and just being able to be with family and good friends.

I have been too relaxed, I haven't done much studying.... and when I get back home on Monday I have to begin testing out on my courses. First up is Nursing care for the childbearing family, and the other one is Mental health aspects of nursing practice. I have to study more for the OB one cuz let me tell you, there is a LOT of stuff covered in that course!!!

One of the good things about coming back is that I get to travel thru Michigan (in the US).... and get to do a TON of shopping!!! YAY SHOPPING!!! When I go back home I have to stop and shop again, I'm trying to find a nursing outfit that I like... I found the bottoms but the top I HAD found was sold by the time I got back to the store. AND my credit card was cancelled by the company I got it from because they thought there was fraudulent activity, ya it was me trying to use it on my vacation!!!! GRRRR Thankfully I have a back up CC cuz I would seriously be up a creek without a paddle!!!

My brother & SIL are pregnant right now - approx. 34 weeks. I'm so excited for them, they've had difficulty getting pregnant. They've been trying for 3 yrs now so it's nice to see that they're going to have a child. This sunday my mom's throwing a baby shower for them. My mom bought them a travel system (stroller & car seat together) that cost sooooo much money!!! When I was preggo with my daughter, she bought me one as well and a whole whack load of baby supplies. She didn't buy the other stuff for them so I hope that they don't complain. The reason why she didn't buy the other stuff was because my travel system cost half of what theirs does. Oh what ppl would assume when they don't know the details!!! Oh well, we shall see.

My bestie and I have been able to hang a whole bunch - LOVE HER! and last night we went to her mommie's house to grab some stuff out of her garden... so tonite I'm having fresh carrots and beets from their garden. OOOOOO I cannot wait, it's going to be so yummy! Maybe I'll have to get a few pictures to post for next time.

Family & School

So I know that I don't talk about school that often, it's just that I haven't been really motivated to get much of it done. Doing school work from a distance is tricky with ADHD, however, I've managed to get 4 courses read and notes done, now it's time to challenge exam them.

On Sunday, my daughter and I head up to my hometown to spend some time with family and darling son. I'm looking forward to it but also dreading it a bit. I've run into some drama which has made me dread going up....

My son will be 11 in November, the court agreement indicates that I get him for the summer. This year, though, his father manipulated him (IMO) and had him indicate to me that he only wanted to spend 4 weeks (out of 10) with me. I was hurt but I allowed this to occur. Especially considering his father said that I was abusing him (my son) by indicating that his decision hurt my feelings and that I didn't want it to occur.

I made plans to go to my hometown in like April, not that I told my son or his father any of this (non of their business IMO) for the end of August, because I was going to surprise kiddo with the trip to hang with Nana & Papa while he was still with me - but that got taken away from me.

Now under the court agreement, I'm supposed to get him for the entire time that I'm in my hometown but instead I have to give my son to his asshole father for 3 days - there's so much more drama besides this but whatever. I always have to give up time, it's frustrating and hurtful.

Another thing has to do with my bestie and my mom, if either came to my area, it would be expected that I take time off from my job in order to spend time with them, but the same thing isn't being done when I go to my hometown.

My bestie, I can sympathize with (even though it saddens me) because her job doesn't have enough nurses to accomodate her getting time off unless it's vacation (and even then she still has to fight them to have it), but with my mom there's really no reason.

She works at a grocery store and there's TONS of younger and less senior ppl under her that she can tell them she wants a couple of days off. It's not like my parents are hurting for money or anything. I even told my mom that it felt like I had to pay her to stay off from her work. My mom takes 4 wks of vacation during the summer - 2 wks to go to HER bestie's cottage and then 2 wks for all of her friends to go to HER cottage.... and I figured that I would come during the last half of her vacation so that I can see her friends and mom and then another week where her and I can hang out, without having her have to go to work. But this isn't the case. This has been this way my ENTIRE life, why would I expect anything different to happen? She told me like 2 months ago, that if I were to go up to my hometown, that she would take time off to spend with me... and then when I tell her that that's what I would like her to do, she tells me no way.

When I called her and cried because it was hurting my feelings so much, she FINALLY said that she would try to see what she could do.... I guess we'll see when I go up on Sunday.

I'm about to start my nursing courses for my pre-req to get into the program - I'm looking forward to going and spending some leisurely time, swimming and studying cuz when I return, I have to challenge four courses -
* Nursing care for the childbearing family
* Nursing care for the adult
* Nursing care for the child and family
* Nursing care for mental health (something like that)

While I'll be studying these, I also figure that I'll be studying to take my NCLEX-PN since I also have to take this when I return (probably at the end of September, beginning of October) seeing that I'm trying to get my license in Michigan in case we decide to move to the states.

Discharge papers received

So by the power received by the doctor in my hospital, I have been told to go home... tomorrow that is. Dizziness in crazy intensity is occuring - new symptom for me... but Dr doesn't really care.

I'm being put on prednisone to hopefully help alleviate or cure the symptoms I'm experiencing. The Dr consulted the neurologist on what to do for me - I think I've stumped them with what's going on with me. Hell, I'm stumped so why shouldn't they be?!

I'm not exactly looking forward to going home - I don't quite feel ready for it. My body feels "off" and still not back to normal and therefore I don't feel ready to leave here. Especially to take care of little tyke.

I had my first shower in like 5 days, I know ewwww gross right.... well I assure you, if I could stand upright for longer than a bathroom pee break, I would be having one!!! Almost fell over today when I was heading back to my room I was sooooo dizzy. But hey, that doesn't seem to matter to anyone until I actually FALL. Ridiculous really. Felt good to have a shower, at least I look like a proper human being now, and I don't stink at least (not that I did before, thank goodness for the invention of anti perspirant and toothpaste!).

The ONLY thing I'm looking forward to is that I can see my family - my hubby and my baby girl. Even though my little tyke is a handful (being almost 3 will do that!), I miss her dearly and love her to bits and pieces. Hubby seems to have actually missed my absence. Tho I suppose when the caregiver of the little one leaves, that makes more responsibility for him right?! So I don't really blame him for missing me :P Even tho I say that, I know that he misses me because he loves me - as I love him. He's my rock... just wish he would have spent more time with me while I've been in hospital - I've been really lonely considering he's spent VERY little time being with me. A couple of dinners here and there is about all. It hurts my feelings but what can I do? And I know that one might say that he has the responsibility of taking care of little tyke... well considering we live with his family, that's not necessarily a requirement since he can ask them to watch her while he comes to me. He has brought her with him a couple of times - I know that little tyke certainly misses me. When she's seen me, I still had the IV and so she was quite apprehensive about touching me cause I had a "boo boo".... VERY sweet and VERY innocent.

I also miss my own bed - tho I do like the electric aspect to the hospital bed - quite convenient at times!!! Certainly makes one more lazy when getting out of bed!

Long story short - I leave tomorrow AM, I'll know more about follow up then. I know that the Dr is giving me at least til Tuesday to recuperate and should I need more time then I have to see my family Dr. I guess that will have to do, it's not like they're giving me another choice in the matter!