Almost back to work

Talked to Oc health today, about the same 'ol stuff. It's like they don't listen. Go figure.

I'm supposed to start back to work next week - very excited about this. I didn't think I would miss it as much as I do.

Spoke to my charge nurse as well to let her know that I was going to be coming back next week for my expected shifts.

Clinical is coming up as well. It'll be nice to follow up with my little old lady about how her social event this past week that she contracted with me for. I'll be surprised if she actually enjoyed it but there's always a chance at her surprising me.

Valentine's day is tomorrow.... little tyke is UBER excited about it. We got her special ones this year since it's her first time. We were also going to make cup cakes but her teacher told me that no outside food was allowed in the classroom - MAJOR disappointment! Hopefully all the kids will be happy with what we got. We'll see though.

Ethics suck and volunteering for it

Taking an ethics course this semester along with the mental health course - two weeks in and three quizzes down and I'm batting like 60% - goodness gracious this sucks.

The friggin quizzes are FUCKING HARD!!!! Who the hell makes 5 pt quizzes for godamn hard???!!! (rhetorical question BTW)

Unfortunately this course also requires for me to do volunteering - AND link it to ethics. Easier said than done. The one place that agreed to take me is a community child care center.... how do I link THAT to ethics???!!! In the proposal I totally bullshitted - said that there was a chance that I could see child abuse (ya right) and the teacher seemed to buy it cuz she approved it. Meh, works for me! At least it's only 10 hours - easy to get it over with.

The course has me do 2 significant themed papers - I was given:
1. Should it be legal for people to buy organs for transplant
2. Should vaccination for HPV be mandated for teenage girls

I selected #1 and the teacher gave me #2 - they shouldn't be too hard, especially considering the HPV one has been in the news for like the last 2 years. And the other one has had plenty of information spread about the ethical issues associated with it.

On a completely unrelated subject....

Went to see the surgeon yesterday. Day was hell from the beginning! Forgot to start the car early because hubby required that I call 5 different places trying to get a hold of ppl so that I can placements at a hospital for the upcoming semesters and so FREEZING cold car....

Get in the car only to find out that my in laws used the car the day before and left ONE bar of gasoline so I wouldn't have been able to start the car anyways - AND I was already running behind schedule for the Dr's appt and now I had to go get gasoline - increase already high irritation

Followed my BIL out of the house and to the closest intersection where I was directly behind him going through it and he slid around the turn and blocked the entire road and go figure so did I, directly into his car. AGGGGHHHH. Now a fucking accident to boot. Minimal damage to both vehicles (as far as we can tell) so off I go on my way....

To then drive 25 KM per hour all the way to my hospital (that's where the Dr's appt was) - so it takes me OVER an hour to get there going at that speed. Which makes me even later for my appt. I was smart enough tho to call ahead and let them know.

Finally make it there and I forget to get the documentation for OC health for the surgeon to fill out so while he's in the room I let him know that they're being jerks and tell him that they have told me that I have to ONLY get him to fill it out so I have to grab it for him to fill out. So off I go to get it and return for him to sign off on it, which he does easily. He had a hard time understanding that they haven't let me go back to work. Ya well me neither!!!

Only 3 more weeks til I start back. I can't wait to get back in the groove.

Going to the union - wish me luck!!!

I'm so frustrated with my hospital. I want to scream at them. Why the hell is it so difficult to go back to work when you actually want to?! Usually OC health are fighting with YOU to go back. I emailed them, called them and they aren't returning anything.

Now I'm getting ahold of my union to see if someone will get a hold of me and tell me WHY I can't go back to work.

And I had damn well better get paid for all this time off. I'm not getting ANY money sitting on my broken ass so someone had better pay me for all this.

And bring me some money!

I will be now emailing and calling my union ppl to try to see if things can get done; I don't know what more I can do other than actually driving to my hospital and expecting them to talk to me in person - and let me tell you that if this union rep doesn't get something done by wednesday, that's exactly what I will be doing!

Maybe not me personally, but it will be ME who gets them invovlved to get me working again!

I totally expected that I would be working by now, especially since I've been cleared by medical for so long now.... wish me luck!

Another year down a new one about to begin

I paid for another year of registration. Makes you look back over this last year. I can't believe I've been MIA for 6 months - half of the goddamn year paid for that I didn't get to utilize. STUPID health issues. Grrrr it makes me so angry. It's put me into such a bad place financially. I hate fighting with hubby about money. We see finances so differently. I mainly avoid. I hate conflict. I'm not very good at it - hubby seems to think that I enjoy fighting. NOT so much!!! I try to avoid it at all costs - especially with hubby. His mom not so much, if she's going to pick a fight with  me I'm not about to back down. The only time I do is at hubby's behest.

I  tried calling Oc health today - no response. I don't understand what's taking so bloody long. It really isn't a hard issue or one that needs so many meetings. I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK!!!! I really really don't understand why they're making it so hard for someone to go back to work who wants to actually work. They're making me prove over and over that I'm capable of it yet not letting me get back to it once I do. These stupid hoops are rediculous!

The only good thing about me being off was being off over the holidays and being to go see my family and hang with them. I looooooooved seeing my son. He was actually decently behaved this time and only really tested me once. I "made" him take his ADHD medication one day - told him I couldn't handle his "ADHD attitude" and his "teenager attitude" at the same time and that if I could medicate the teenager one I would but since there isn't a med that can tame that ugly beast he had to put up with medicating the one that could be. He took his med and 45 minutes later everything was right in the world once more!

We got in lots of family time. I even got to see him play 2 hockey games. He got his first "gordy howe hat trick" - a goal, an assist and a penalty. I was very proud of him (he didn't really deserve the penalty but meh I'm not about to become a hockey mom because of it). They won that game 9:2.... it was an AWESOME game. The second game he didn't get anything but damn did he play well. Their team won that game as well... 5:2 - And my dad, brother, SIL and little & big nephews were there so it was a blessed game and we all enjoyed ourself thoroughly.

I got to see my bestie - wish I could have a bit more but her darling 9 wk old darling wouldn't quite allow us to. Such a pity, I love that gal and her darling bitty to bits. I felt so bad for bestie when her darling wouldn't settle, it's rough when the person you love suffers and there isn't anything you can do to help. I hate feeling helpless and watching my bestie feel helpless as well. It's rough.

I always love going home. There's something to be said about going to your childhood home and being able to relish all the good memories. To spend a night in your "old bedroom". But there's something also to be said about coming back home and sleeping in your own bed. I enjoyed my time there but I'm glad to be back here. Going up there was the scariest drive in the 4.5 yrs I've been living in the south. I went when the ice storm came through and it made for some seriously dangerous driving. I never want to do it again. Man I hope I never experience that again. Honestly, if a situation like that ever happens again, I'll fly instead. Oh goodness I can't wait to move to a place like Texas or somewhere similar when the temps are so much warmer than freezing this time of year!!! Where I could be going swimming in my backyard pool instead of skating on it!

Semi official

Not going back to work until at least the new year. Was told by Oc health today that a meeting needs to occur between my union, my manager, oc health and I before I can go back. And since the holidays are here the timinng is against me. Crappy thing is is that we're poor ATM and really needed the money of me starting back to work.

The only good part that came of this all is that I get to leave tomorrow to go home. I'm excited about it. Little tyke is OVERLY excited. She wants to go today but we have to wait until tomorrow when a vehicle is available.

Awesome about leaving tomorrow is that I'll be there for Saturday when mama is getting together with all her friends and having their christmas party - and these girls are SOOOOO much fun! Several of them are my "aunts" because I've known them since I was such a small child. I love these gals.

Hubby isn't going with me - he's only just started his new job so it's not like he has any vacation time accrued to be able to come with me. It's ok he's not coming, he'd be grumpy about celebrating the holiday anyway and who needs a grumpy goose around?!

A lot of good that did me

I had my "meeting" with the powers that "be" - not that it got my anywhere. Oc health agreed to the fri,sat,sun but not the evenings or nights. Said that days can be just like evenings or nights. I tend to disagree but when my union rep didn't bother to stand up for me, I didn't really have a leg to stand on. So now I need to get my Dr to write restrictions indicating that I can have increased rest periods. But the thing about this is that I won't get paid for these "rest periods" and what if I don't need them, how are they going to know I took them? I hate day shifts, and of course the guy who runs Oc health says that he would prefer to have me work days so that they can "overlook" me - well I'd be working weekends and so it's not like all the management ppl would be around so what does it matter?! Doesn't sound logical to me! Why so much politics, just so that I can go to work?! Do what I was trained and registered to do?!

I had the meeting early Tues morning and haven't heard back when my first day would be. I'm going to call in the AM because if I am not going to start this weekend, I would rather spend the time heading north to spend Christmas with my family. Oh how I want to go home. I miss my friend and family. I want to see my mum. I know that we don't always see eye to eye but she's my mum and I feel comfortable when I'm in my family home, having family dinners with plenty of sharing. And my mom decorates for Christmas so wonderfully - Oh the sights. It makes me smile and makes me sad at the same time. I miss the sights. I dislike that I can't celebrate something that I celebrated since I was born. In this family they believe that anything of another religion is terrible and therefore shouldn't be celebrated. More specifically that celebrating one prophets birth/death more so than another is blasphemy. But Christmas is not religious in my family. It's about spending time together, giving gifts and enjoying the sights when they open them. It's a day where everyone is happy. It's something that I love, I enjoy it and I miss it terribly.

A big week coming

This week is kinda big in my life. This week I have a meeting with the surgeon who will determine if I get to go back to work and if I get to have the weekend shifts that I feel I need.

Then I have a meeting with Oc health, my manager and my union rep to determine WHEN I can go back to work. Goodness I hope it's soon!

These two things will determine WHEN I get to go home for Christmas - one things that this family will NOT let me celebrate here - so I REALLY REALLY want to go home. Plus my two brothers are shit heads and tend to spend more time with their wife's side of the family and therefore if if I didn't go home, then my mama would be left alone (and her hubby is a bigger shit head and doesn't know how to celebrate properly and always inevitably screws up the celebration) so there's just me to help her celebrate christmas.

Plus little tyke LOVES all the lights of christmas and keeps enquiring WHEN christmas is going to be. She doesn't understand why exactly we don't celebrate in this household and it's next to impossible to tell a 4 yr old and have her truely understand. So I'm happy that we get to go up to mom's house and celebrate all the awesomeness that goes along with the holidays. If only Eid was celebrated in the same manner, then maybe her and I would be excited about it as well.

Modified duties to return to work

So I gave my oc-health paperwork that I filled out and my physician signed off of to the hospital. Turns out they're suspicious of it. UGH, it never ends. Some other physician has to check out the paperwork and determine if my physician has to write a more "official" letter to explain why I need restricted shifts. In the paperwork it's indicated that I can work fri, sat, sun - evenings or nights. They don't understand why this is important - even after I explained to them that I would be taking narcotics mon-thurs since I get my seton tightened on mondays - and I can't work when I have been taking narcotics. Pretty sure my patients wouldn't want me as their nurse who's flying high (not exactly true) plus there's the thing of malpractice. Ya wouldn't want something to happen when I'm on those puppies! Plus once I have my seton tightened I'm in crazy amounts of pain and it's difficult to sit or walk - heightens the pain for sure.

So ya, don't know what I'm going to do. All I want to do now that I'm feeling better is go back to work. Unemployments/short term disability is done and so I need some money rolling in!!! Plus I have to pay for next semester's tuitio in a matter of weeks. Kinda hard to do with no money!

Admission package prep

the deadline for fall admission into the nursing part of the program has come and gone - could be why I've been a bit MIA. I had to make sure that I saw my MD regarding a current TB skin test. Also make sure that I was immune to stuff (which I know I'm not but got ANOTHER booster - evidently the one I had like 3 yrs ago didn't work). Had to get up-to-date on my BCLS. And I had to take the dreaded TEAS exam - to get entry to the nursing program.

Long story short, I passed 3 of 4 sections. I failed by ONE question on the english/grammar part. I feel stupid. I know english but man when they give you these answers, they all look the same. And after doing the other 3 parts I felt like my brain AND eyes gave up on me.

Tonight I took a practice test (only 10 questions) and STILL didn't pass it I wanted to FREAK - but I even went over it with my BFF and she made the same mistakes I did (save for one) so it made me feel not so stupid.

The thing with this part of the exam is that it fucks with my disability. Whenever they want me to choose the "best" answer or find an error in a sentence - I don't always see a clear answer. The shitty part is that none of these english questions have ANYTHING to do with nursing, so it's not like my "critical thinking" skills are being used. GRRRRRR

I only have one more shot to pass this goddamn thing. My deadline is June 13 - please pray for me, I need to get this passed!!!!!!

On a separate note, I hurt my back again. I lifted one of little tyke's toys and tweaked my back (never a good sign) and when I went into work yesterday and let my resource nurse know that my back wasn't feeling 100% and whether I could have minimal 1 assist or independent pt's - I was told to go to Occupational health and talk to them. She wouldn't deal with it on a unit level. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR and then when I got there, they were in meetings and didn't get back to me and so I ended up hurting myself while at work. Now it's an issue of whether it's an injury at work or outside of work. UGH!!!!!!!!! Man I can't wait until I'm an RN and can work with babies - where I'm VERY unlikely to hurt my back!!!!

Let me be a nurse, I'm not crippled - just in pain

My back still isn't better. X-ray showed that I don't have a disc herniation, just a sprain. And while that's goodish news, it doesn't mean that I'm in any less pain. I've been on modified for about 3 weeks, and it's completely boring! Up to this point they won't let me do ANYTHING nursing related - hell not even vital signs! It's ridiculous and is driving me crazy. On friday I went and spoke with the oc-health person I've been dealing with so that we can get a plan in play that will tag me back into the nursing ring.

How do I know if I can do all my regular duties if they won't let me do any of them?! Thankfully the oc-health lady helped me out and today my physician signed off on the tiered/staged plan to get me back to work. Unfortunately, it's according to my schedule at work which every second week I'm off for 7-10 days (which is great if I didn't need the money and the ability to pick up extra shifts) which means that I don't go back to working full duty and the ability to pick up more shifts until Aug 10th.

On another note, my son told me today that he only wants to come and visit for 4 weeks this summer. It's crap and I'm pissed off about it. My feelings are hurt about it all. It sucks that my hometown and everyone there is being chosen over me and the ppl down here. My heart aches cuz I know that I got screwed in the court system and there wasn't anything that I could do about it at the time because I didn't have the finances to take A-hole to court about this all, and in the end I paid for it. It sucks, sucks, sucks!!! I want to cry and cry but it's not going to make the situation any better. UGH!!!!

The in-laws here went house looking last week and found the perfect house - it's 4 bedrooms upstairs and then an apartment with 2 bedrooms in the basement. And while hubby, kiddos and I will be confined to the basement again, at least I will see the light of day in there because the set up is that of an apartment and I will no longer have to share a room with the kids! How glorious is that?! Unfortunately, it's contingent on the selling of the current house which means we have been UBER busy getting rid of the clutter and junk around the house and having it staged. Which is easier said than done when you have a 3 yr old running around. The other crappy part is that it doesn't keep clean seeing that the 3 yr old thinks she can make messes everywhere (not that I expected anything less but still aggravating none the less) and lastly, the showings of this house are driving me crazy because we can't be in the house when there are agents or potential buyers in the house which = we must vacate to SOMEWHERE for the HOURS that it takes.

This weekend we had to be out of the house for 8hrs on Saturday and 9hrs on Sunday. Goodness that's a long time to be somewhere else, especially if you don't have close family around that you can just "drop" in on seeing as some of these hours were made as a last minute thing. Same thing happened today as well. I really do hope this house sells quickly so that we can get back to our regular duties!

Oh my back doc, what are we going to do?!

So about a month back I was turning an obese pt by myself, ya I know, stupid, but the ppl I was working with were also super busy so there wasn't anyone I could really ask for assisstance. When I turned this pt, I hear a pop in my back but nothing hurt so I just went along my merry little way. Give it a couple of days and yeppers by back started to hurt. Well just before we went to Cuba I couldn't take the pain anymore and went to a chiropractor. He helped decrease my pain so at least I could function and I followed it up with a massaage, and did this at least once a week until last week when I got sick with a sinus cold and a chest infection. Well just when the sinus and chest starts to look like I'm out of the clear, my back kicks up in over gear.

I went to my Dr who says that I need an x-ray (chiropractor thinks I have a L5/S1 disc herniation) so I went and did that yesterday and follow up next Tuesday and in the meantime I'm hitting the couch and muscle relaxants hard. Part of me hopes it is cuz then there's a legitimate reason my back hurts so much and the other part hopes it isn't cuz that would suck hard!

Guess we'll see on Tuesday.