Wednesday, January 29, 2014

BFFs are the best - oh how I miss thee

The title says it all, I miss my BFF. We're 8 hours apart.

She just had a new baby in October so she's off on mat leave, we don't talk like we used to. I'm off on medical leave, we don't talk like we used to.

When we were BOTH working we would talk to each other on the way TO work and the way FROM work - it was our routine. Now it's like we're too ships passing in the night, we know the other is there but there's little to no communication - maybe a toot but thats about it.

When we do finally get a chance to have a telephone conversation it's interrupted by the many ppl around this house, or the new baby who demands her mama's attn (I understand but it's difficult) - I just want our friendship back the way it was. I guess I need to get used to this new normal. It's now forever changed.

I went home in December, I got to see her but not like we usually do. Whenever I get to town it's expected that we see each other frequently. She's like my sister. We've known each other a decade. She's been around to see my son grow into a teenager and all the difficulties I've faced with his son of a bith father - she's seen me fall in love with my husband, get pregnant, have complication and face the idea that she may be born premature - she wasn't there when my daughter was born and I mourned for that. I wanted her there but we had moved by then. We figured that little tyke was going to be premature and if she was it would be better to be by the children's hospital. Well we moved and we never went back. It's safer for us to live where we are. But boy do I miss her. I wasn't able to see her daughter be born either. I mourned that as well but we couldn't do it.... well we made it there 4 days afterwards at least.

She's come to visit me a couple of times. We're trying to arrange sometime for her to come here in the near future. It's difficult though because I'm going to be returning to work and with clinicals and school work it makes it difficult.

Also my husband and her don't always see eye to eye. She doesn't sugar coat anything when she talks to or about him and he doesn't like that. It's hard to have a BFF who your husband doesn't like anymore. He's very critical about her when he shouldn't be (IMO) - she deserves more respect than he gives her. I tell him this but it just upsets him. I think he's a bit jealous when it comes to her - he doesn't like that I keep no secrets from her and that I tell her everything. I think he feels that that sort of relationship should only be me and him.

Her and I talked yesterday for an hour and a half, it was wonderful. I missed it. I miss her. I've always told her she's like my soul mate - she thinks the same of me. She has stuck with me through nursing school - when others gave her ultimatums - pick her or us - she picked me. It says alot about a person who will do that. According to her she would rather lose many and have a special connection with someone than to choose many and lose it. We do have a special connection. We love each other - we're sisters.

She lost her dad two years ago. I was at work when she called me to tell me. I raced home to be with her. She was devastated. I wasn't extremely close with her family (she's much closer to mine) but we knew each other. I cried for her. I cried because I could see this devastated my BFF. She lost her daddy in the blink of an eye without any warning. One minute he was here the next he wasn't. She was forever changed. I cry now just thinking back to that day. I remember crying at work in front of everyone as I told my charge nurse that my BFF's dad had died and that I needed to leave. They understood. I left. I went home and immediately packed my bags and off I drove 8 hours to be with her. She needed me, she needed my shoulder to cry on. When we saw each other all we did was cry. She had lost her hero. I didn't know what to do for her but I knew that all that mattered to her was that I was there. She was lost for a while after that. She tried to be on a brave face but I could always tell what was just beneath the surface. It took time for her to recover, for her to get a foot on solid ground. I was there for her whenever she needed me, I was only a phone call away. At a moments notice she could reach out and know that someone had her back and an ear to listen. She's always been there for me when I've needed the same. That's what BFFs are for right?!

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